It Don't Matter To The Sun
by LolaLoo
Summary: When Booth tells Brennan he's leaving, she must face her feelings and doubts. But will it be too late? How will the group react? I can't do summaries... BB with slight Hodgela later on. Now COMPLETE!
1. Big Yellow Taxi

**DISCLAIMER: Funnily enough, I don't own Bones or anything to do with the show. If only…**

**A/N: Ok, I'm supposed to be taking a break from writing right now (I'm gearing up for the sequel to 'The Man In The Lecture Hall') but this idea just wouldn't leave me alone, no matter how much I hit myself in the head to get it out…**

**I know the idea of Booth being sent off to Iraq is pretty ridiculous, even if he was the world's best marksman, but like I said, the idea wouldn't leave me alone. This is also the first time I've ever used music quotes. The point was that I kept hearing songs that made me think of Bones so please indulge me… Let me know whether or not it works cos not too sure of it myself. And please please review cos I'm feeling very self conscious about how sappy this is!**

**Be prepared for muchos fluffos!**

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_"Listen, late last night I heard the screen door swing  
__And a big yellow taxi took my girl away.  
__Now, don't it always seem to go that  
__You don't know what you got till it's gone?"_

_ -'Big Yellow Taxi', Counting Crows_

_oo000oo_

Special Agent Seeley Booth stood in the middle of the parking lot beside his SUV, his heart pounding. He smiled at his partner awkwardly.

"Are you sure I can't give you a lift home, Bones?"

The smile she offered in return was far more convincing than his own.

"No, really it's fine. You'd be late to pick up Parker. The taxi will be here in a minute anyway."

They fell back into silence, Booth just standing there cursing himself for chickening out yet again. He'd spent all day working up the courage to tell her his big piece of news and every time he had come close, he ended up backing out. He wanted to tell her now, to just get it out in the open, but he wasn't sure what to say.

_No, I know exactly what I need to say, I just don't know how to say it._

He sighed heavily and felt her eyes on him, waiting for him to speak.

_It's now or never…_

"I'm going back."

He raised his eyes to hers, finding a frown being quickly replaced with a slight smile.

"Sure. I told you that you didn't need to wait with me."

He blinked, slowly realising the mistake.

"No, Bones, I mean…"

_Just do it, Seeley. You have to tell her. Don't you dare chicken out now, you idiot._

"I'm going back to the Army."

Both eyebrows raised, she stared at him with her mouth wide open.

"You mean…"

Booth cut her off, forcing his own words out despite the bitter taste they left in his mouth.

"I've been spending a lot of my spare time helping to train the guys before they ship out, nothing major, just general sniper stuff. When they asked me to go out to Iraq and keep teaching, I couldn't exactly say no so…"

He finished lamely, glancing at her as she blinked rapidly, obviously struggling to take it all in. He purposefully looked anywhere but at her, his heart pounding in his chest.

"But not to actually fight?"

The hope in her voice cut him deeper than he ever thought was possible.

"Probably not, no."

He shrugged, trying to make out that the whole thing really wasn't a big deal. She looked him square in the eye.

"Probably?"

He swallowed hard, unable to hold her gaze.

"Well, you know, I might have to do the odd patrol here and there but it's not like I'll be on the front line or anything."

She just stared at him and he squirmed slightly, her silence the worst possible response he could have gotten. Eventually, she sighed, her voice low. She sounded… Scared. Temperance Brennan sounded scared.

_And I'm the one that's scared her…_

"What about Parker?"

He blinked rapidly, somewhat surprised by her approach.

"Well, I should only be away for a couple of months. He'll barely notice I'm gone."

She rolled her eyes, a hint of bitterness creeping in to her tone.

"You're his father, of course he'll notice."

Their eyes locked and Booth felt his heart race as he bit back the questions he longed to ask.

_But will _you_ notice, Bones? Will you tell me to stay, to keep being your partner day in, day out, tell me all these feelings that keep burning in me aren't for nothing? _

"If that's what you feel you have to do, then I have no cause to stop you."

_I guess that's a no then…_

The coolness in her words stung him as she shook her head, a few strands of auburn hair falling loose in her eye.

"I'm just a little surprised. After everything you've said about being a sniper, the things it's cost you..."

He shrugged as he ignored the pang of guilt in his gut, wanting desperately to brush that hair away if only for an excuse to touch her, to be close.

"I go where I'm told, where I'm needed."

_Tell me _you_ need me. Tell me not to go…_

The taxi pulled in to the parking lot and Booth felt his heart sink as she gathered her things together, not once looking him in the eye. He wanted to go to her, he wanted to just pull her into his arms and never let her go again, to tell her exactly how he felt. But his feet wouldn't move.

"Well, just be careful out there. I don't have the time or the patience to get another FBI agent up to speed around here."

Although she said the last part with a smile, it didn't reach her eyes. Booth just nodded, watching as she clambered into the back of the taxi.

_Go after her, you idiot, tell her that you don't really want to go, not if it means not seeing her face every day, not hearing her voice, not smelling that perfume… Go after her!_

The taxi pulled away in to the night and Booth could do nothing but watch it go.


	2. Full Of Grace

_"And everything we say do hurts us all the more.  
__I never thought I could feel so low.  
__In all darkness, I feel like letting go."_

_ - 'Full of Grace', Sarah McLachlan_

_oo000oo_

Doctor Temperance Brennan considered herself to be a calm and collected person, some might say detached. Others went as far as to call her cold. But that didn't mean she didn't have any emotions, that she didn't feel.

And the bombshell her partner had just dropped on her hurt like hell.

_He's going back to war. He's going to kill or be killed. I could lose him. One way or another, I could lose my partner._

She swallowed hard, regretting the hope that crept in to her voice as her words echoed around the parking lot, taunting her.

"But not to actually fight?"

He flinched slightly and her stomach lurched as he replied.

"Probably not, no."

_I think I'm going to be sick…_

"Probably?"

He shrugged, his casual act failing to convince her.

"Well, you know, I might have to do the odd patrol here and there but it's not like I'll be on the front line or anything."

She just stared at him in disbelief, chewing her bottom lip in an unconscious attempt to keep back all the words she desperately wanted to say as silence descended.

_How could you do this to me? How could you even consider leaving? I thought that we…_

She sighed heavily, cutting her internal monologue short, not daring to finish the thought.

"What about Parker?"

_What about me?_

He glanced at her, a strange look in his eye.

"Well, I should only be away for a couple of months. He'll barely notice I'm gone."

She rolled her eyes, unable to hide the bitterness that was clawing its way up her throat.

"You're his father, of course he'll notice."

Their eyes locked and she had to stop herself from adding what she really meant.

_And I'll notice too. I always notice when you're not around. It makes me feel… cold._

She shook the thoughts out of her head as she broke his gaze.

"If that's what you feel you have to do then I have no cause to stop you."

She paused, warily admitting a little of what she was feeling.

"I'm just a little surprised. After everything you've said about being a sniper, the things it's cost you…"

He shrugged, still playing the it's-not-a-big-deal card. She didn't buy it for a second.

"I go where I'm told, where I'm needed."

_But I need you…_

She opened her mouth to speak but the glare of headlights swept across them, cutting her off. Trying to hide how upset she was, she gathered her things together. Straightening up, she attempted to stay detached from the situation.

_That's what I do. That's how I cope. Every time someone deserts me, that's how I deal._

"Well, just be careful out there. I don't have the time or the patience to get another FBI agent up to speed around here."

She had aimed for jokey but failed miserably. She just hoped her smile was convincing enough as she slipped in to the back seat of the taxi and turned away from her partner.

_Just like he's turned away from me._

Pulling away from the Jeffersonian, she let her guard down. Temperance Brennan, the detached doctor, let herself cry.


	3. Fix You

_"And the tears come streaming down your face  
__When you lose something you can't replace,  
__When you love someone but it goes to waste.  
__Could it be worse?  
__Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones,  
__And I will try to fix you."_

_- 'Fix You', Coldplay_

_oo00oo_

Angela Montenegro got to her best friend's apartment before she did. Waiting on the front steps with her arms wrapped around her to stave off the cold, she wondered what possibly could have happened to leave her so distraught over the phone.

_I've seen Bren cry enough times now, but I've never heard her that scared before._

The taxi pulling up in front of her, Angela got to her feet and put on her game face as Brennan clambered out of the back seat. Walking towards one another, Angela saw the blotches of mascara under her puffy eyes and immediately wrapped a reassuring arm around her friend's shaking shoulders, leading her inside.

They reached the apartment in near silence, Angela's mind racing over the possibilities.

_Booth. It has to be Booth. No-one else could ever get her so worked up. _

Sitting Tempe down on the sofa, Angela marched in to the kitchen. Pausing in front of the kettle, she shook her head.

_We don't need tea, we need wine. And tissues. Obviously a lot of tissues…_

She grabbed a bottle and a couple of glasses, plonking them down unceremoniously on the coffee table as she settled herself on the sofa. Her eyes full of concern, she smiled at her friend as she offered her a box of Kleenex.

"So sweetie, what's Booth done now?"

Bren looked taken aback, blinking rapidly.

"How did you know it would be something to do with Booth?"

She grinned widely, offering a quick wink.

"Because it usually is. So what's Mr Tall, Dark and Idiotic gone and done this time?"

Bren sighed heavily, her eyes prickling with tears as she reached for the wine. Pouring them both a glass each, she settled back in to the cushions, all the while being watched by her closest friend.

"It's not what he's done, it's what he's going to do…"

Angela frowned.

"Which is?"

Brennan just stared in to the glass of wine, her mind elsewhere. Angela sighed.

_Whatever it is, it's thrown her through a loop and a half._

"Sweetie, I need you to talk to me."

Temperance blinked rapidly, fighting back the tears.

"Ange, he's… He's going out to Iraq. He's going back to the army."

"Oh…"

She didn't know what else to say. Soldiers were still dying far too fast out there for Angela's liking and the idea of one of them being Booth…

_That's not it. That's not all that's bothering her._

"What do I do, Ange? I can't ask him not to go. This is a loyalty thing for him. He's not just trying to be the typical alpha male. He truly believes that there's honour to be found out there, that he can make a difference."

"And you don't think he can?"

"Yes, no, I don't know! I guess I'm just…"

She swallowed hard and Angela watched her, patiently waiting for her to finish the thought as she knew she would.

"I guess I'm just worried that the only difference it's going to make is that Parker loses a father."

Angela's voice was soft.

"And that you lose a partner."

Brennan flinched, closing her eyes against the images that Angela wished she wasn't seeing.

_All that carnage, all those victims, she's seen them all. I'm the one who makes the faces, don't you dare start putting Booth's over all of them._

She reached out to her friend, laying a gentle hand on top of hers and immediately noticing it was shaking.

"This is Booth we're talking about, Bren. He's like a real life Captain America! You know full well that he can take care of himself. He's been out there before doing the whole GI Joe thing and he came back in one piece."

Brennan's lower lip started to tremble as she shook her head slowly, remembering the x-rays she had seen of her partner.

"Last time, he… He took a bullet for someone and I think he was tortured."

Angela swallowed hard, trying to drive the images out of her mind.

_God, Booth… I had no idea…_

Brennan was veering towards the analytical again, trying to distance herself from the conversation.

"He had multiple fractures to his feet consistent with severe beatings which is a commonly used form of torture in the Middle East, and the permanent damage to his cuboid, tibialis anterior and navicular bones was likely due to the severity of the posttraumatic oedema from the use of pipes and... "

Angela waved a hand in the air to cut her off, trying desperately to look like the latest information had not bothered her.

"Sweetie, stop. You can't think about that type of thing. It doesn't help anyone, least of all you."

Brennan nodded slowly, letting out a long breath.

"I just… What if something happens to him? He says that it's not like he's on active duty but I just..."

Angela squeezed her hand.

"You just don't want to lose the man you love."

Brennan jerked her hand away, jumping to her feet.

"I never said I love him! Love has nothing to do with it. I mean, yes, we're partners but that's all. Friends and partners and… and…"

She sunk back down on to the sofa, dropping her head in to her hands.

"I've never been in love, Ange. As far as I'm concerned, there's no real scientific basis for it. I mean, the emotional bond that forms between family members is likely due to the recognition of a shared genetic structure and the primeval coding in us all to protect our own. That's not love, that's science. It's codes and genetics and programming. What you're talking about… I don't know what love is."

Nodding slowly, the artist sighed.

"Love is… Love is whatever you want it to be, sweetie. It's the fact that your heart speeds up at the thought of that one person who puts butterflies in your stomach, it's the longing to see them when they're not around, the desire to have them with you every minute of every hour because you don't think you could survive without them for another second. Love can be hard and tough and it involves sacrifices, compromises and surrender. But the reward? You can't ask for anything more in this world that loving someone and knowing they love you back. It's… It's love."

Brennan just raised an eyebrow, a look of weary disbelief on her face.

"So how do I know if I love Booth? I mean, beyond the context of friendship."

Angela smiled slowly.

"You already know, sweetie. You have done for months. It's so obvious! It's in every look you give him, every touch, and trust me, the feeling's mutual. You're both just too stubborn and bone-headed to admit it to yourselves."

Brennan shook her head, unable to digest this new information.

"Well, if the feeling's mutual, why is he leaving?"

"Because he's an honest, noble man who thinks he can make a difference to the world by being out there and fighting. _And_ because he doesn't know how you really feel."

Brennan frowned as she ran a tired hand across her face.

"So, you're saying that if I tell him I love him, then maybe he'll stay?"

Angela sighed heavily.

"I'm saying if you tell him how you feel then you'll both know where you stand. And that's better than sitting here crying your eyes out over something that might never happen."

Brennan pulled her best friend in to a tight hug, whispering thank yous in to her hair. Pulling back, Angela grinned.

"That's what friends are for, sweetie. We fix you when you break down."

Brennan smiled back, her mind made up.

"So I guess tomorrow… Tomorrow I tell him how I feel."

Angela hugged her again.

_And God help me, if that man doesn't tell her he loves her, I'll kill him myself…_

* * *

**A/N: Now have a fantastic image in my head of Angela attacking Booth with a paintbrush, hee hee... I should point out that it's now 4:51am so I don't really care if no-one else finds that funny! Am also slightly scared that my spell checker recognises the word 'Kleenex'...**


	4. Caught In The Sun

**A/N: There are so many other things that I should be doing right now but to be honest, three weeks without any new Bones episodes is just way too long so I'm filling the gaping void with as much angst and fluff as I can manage... Please please please let me know what you think. Reviews feed my soul! Feed me, dammit, FEEEEEEEEEEEEED MEEEEEEEE!**

**Thank you as ever to Ava for, well, just being Ava. Oh, and to Goldpiece for teaching me slang I'm too stupid to understand on my own...**

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_"People everywhere, how could I be sure  
__If it's you that I have been looking for?  
__What would it take for me to be comfortable  
__With you, with me?"_

_- 'Caught In The Sun', Course of Nature_

_oo00oo_

It had been hours since Angela had left her apartment but Temperance Brennan still hadn't moved from the couch. The room now cloaked in darkness, she was curled up on the sofa, lost in her own world, doubt beginning to encroach on what had previously seemed so certain, so simple.

She was trying to rationalise her feelings, trying to distance herself from the conversations she had with both Angela and Booth. She needed to find some logic, some scientific reasoning behind the aching in her chest and the churning in her gut.

_I'm scared. I'm scared that once Booth has gone, he's never coming back. I've seen what war does. I've stood over the bodies and bones of countless victims. That can't happen to him, I don't want it to. He can't be just another victim, just another name on a casualty list. _

Running a tired hand across her face, she felt her stomach lurch at the images her mind dredged up. The results of ethnic cleansing, the piles of bodies in ditches, the results of the death squads in South America, the corpses intertwined and tangled together in endless discarded heaps…

_That can't happen to Booth. I won't let it._

Clambering to her feet, she wandered into the kitchen as she tried to shake the sight of all those victims from her mind.

_And how exactly are you going to stop it, Temperance? What can you possibly do?_

She extended a shaking hand, picking a glass off the draining board and pouring herself some water. Taking little sips, she sighed heavily.

_Angela told you to tell him how you feel, to tell him that you love him._

Clutching the glass to her chest, she padded down the hall and in to her bedroom, perching on the chair by her dressing table. Staring into the mirror, the moonlight from outside gave her a ghostly reflection, pale and distant.

_That's exactly what I am… I'm distant. I don't let people in, don't let them get too close, for fear of what might happen. For fear of what I'll feel when they leave. They always leave. Every single one of them. Mom, Dad, Russ, David… Love never features into the equation. I don't let it. Relationships, sex, it's all just recreational. There's never been any real connection. What I have with Booth… I can't lose that, I can't risk it._

Practically slamming the glass on to the table, Brennan began to pace, the repetitive movement soothing her tormented mind.

_Do I love him? By Angela's criteria - the butterflies in my stomach, missing him when he's not there, the desire to be with him every minute of everyday - then maybe… Maybe she's right. Maybe…_

Changing into an old pair of comfortable pyjamas, Brennan collapsed on to the bed and stared up at the ceiling, watching the shadows dance above her as moonlight filtered through the swaying boughs outside.

_He's always been there for me, he's always forced me to confront my fears and feelings. I respect him, I honour him, I miss him…_

She raised her hands to her face, attempting to shield her mind from the thoughts that kept invading.

_Maybe I do love him, maybe all this uncertainty is just due to the unfamiliarity of such an emotion. Maybe he even feels the same way… But what if he does? It won't make any difference. It won't stop him from going to war, it won't protect him. Maybe all it will do is hurt. Hurt him and hurt me. I can't be hurt again, I won't put myself through it. Losing him… Losing him would kill me._

She curled up on the bed as she dragged the covers over herself, pulling her knees up to her chest in the foetal position, trying to find some comfort, some solace. Staring at the clock on her bedside table, she found nothing but anxiety and fear. Cold, hard, clammy fear.

_I can't let him go without at least trying to explain. I can't let him go without at least attempting to make him understand, even if I don't understand it myself. He has to know that I… that I… that I love him. I, Doctor Temperance Brennan, am in love with Special Agent Seeley Booth._

Her mind began to calm, her eyelids started to droop. As the shadows swayed her towards sleep, one simple word escaped her lips, one simple word that said everything she could ever hope to say.

"Seeley…"


	5. Boxed Up

_"Hiding away, all boxed up,  
__Over there while we are here.  
__Worried about how it all works out, you're a worrier.  
__Sorry I spoke but I didn't know how to keep it secret.  
__Comes out with time. Time tells all."_

_- 'Boxed up', The Get Out Clause_

_oo00oo_

Zach watched as Doctor Temperance Brennan leaned in over the examination table, her eyes patrolling the length of the skeleton's leg. Zach recited the names in his head, trying to focus his thoughts.

_Femur to the patella, patella to the tibia and fibia, down to tarsals and metatarsals…_

He looked up at his teacher. She was frowning down at the bones, her head cocked to one side.

"Zach…"

He stepped forward, eager to help.

"Yes, Doctor Brennan?"

She turned the full intensity of her gaze on to him and he was confused.

_She seems distracted. Doctor Brennan's never distracted. She's always focused and professional. She's Doctor Brennan…_

"There seems to be an odd discolouration at the base of the patella."

He nodded, glancing down at the bone in question.

"Hodgins took a sample and is running it through the mass spectrometer right now."

She nodded back at him, obviously satisfied. Zach, on the other hand, most definitely wasn't. Ignoring Angela's arrival with a large sketch book, he took a step closer to his boss.

"Doctor Brennan…?"

She glanced at him, still distracted. That look in her eye made him uncomfortable.

"Yes, Zach?"

He paused, swallowing hard, acutely aware that he was anything but a people person.

"Doctor Brennan, is Booth's relationship with Doctor Saroyan what's distracting you?"

Both Temperance and Angela's heads snapped up. The artist waved a hand across her throat in a frenzied manner, trying to tell him to shut up, while Brennan just stared at him quizzically.

"Why would it bother me that Booth and Cam are friends? They've known each other a long time and it's not like it interferes with our work."

Zach shrugged.

"No, but I would have thought that the fact that they were having a sexual relationship might become an issue with future cases if you and Doctor Saroyan disagree over any findings."

Angela looked like she was about to kill him as Brennan just stared, her mouth wide open. Eventually, she seemed to regain her ability to speak, though her voice was barely audible.

"They're having a _sexual_ relationship?"

Zach blinked rapidly, confused.

"I'm sorry, Doctor Brennan, I thought you knew. Everyone else does."

Her eyes widened to the size of saucers as she spun to face Angela.

"Did _you_ know?"

Angela's cheeks flushed red and she averted her gaze. Brennan just stared at her for a moment before spinning on her heel and marching back toward her office. Angela glared at him, shaking her head fervently.

"Nice going, Zach."

Confused, he just stared back at her.

"What did I do?"

With a grunt of frustration, Angela tucked the sketch pad under her arm and raced off the forensic platform, catching Brennan just before she was about to enter her office. Grabbing her elbow, she spun her friend to face her.

"Bren, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't think…"

Anger flared in Brennan's eyes as she jerked her arm free, her jaw set in determination.

"I don't want to talk about this, Angela."

She turned away as the artist took a step forward, trying to reach out.

"Sweetie, please!"

Brennan spun round and Angela was shocked to see that the anger in her friend's eyes had been replaced with hurt and the distinct prickling of tears.

"After everything you said to me yesterday, after everything you told me to do… We're supposed to be friends, Angela, and you hid this from me, even when you were talking to me last night, telling me to... You knew all along that it was hopeless, that he was with _her_ and you still told me to tell him that I…"

Catching herself, she snapped her jaw shut and narrowed her eyes.

"I'm sure you have work to do somewhere other than my office."

She stepped inside, slamming the door in Angela's face. The artist just stared at the wood, feeling it mocking her as Hodgins approached with a concerned frown.

"Everything ok?"

Angela turned to him, blinking back tears of frustration.

"I think I just screwed up. I think I just ruined everything."


	6. A Place Called Home

_"I'd rather walk a winding road,  
__Rather know the things I know,  
__See the world with my own eyes,  
__No regrets, no looking back, no goodbyes.  
__Someday I'll go where there ain't no rain or snow,  
__'Till then I'll travel alone.  
__No goodbyes."_

_- 'A Place Called Home', Kim Richey_

_oo00oo_

Watching through her office window as Angela was guided away by Hodgins, Temperance Brennan dropped her head in to her hands and cursed herself for getting mad at her best friend.

_So what? She deserved it. She should have told you about Booth and Cam._

Brennan shook her head, trying to quash the angry thoughts racing through her brain. Frustrated, she folded her arms across the desk and rested her head on her hands, staring sideways at the wall and letting her mind wander.

_Even Zach knew, for heaven's sake! Booth didn't even tell me either. I suppose we're not as close as I thought. Not that it matters anymore. Give it a week and he'll be gone and I won't need to worry about it._

She screwed her eyes closed, blinking back the angry tears as she chastised herself for the thought.

_When he goes, he might never come back. He's going to a war zone, Temperance. Do you really want to part on bad terms with him?_

She sighed heavily, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes.

_This is why I refuse to let my guard down. This is why I refuse to let my 'relationships' become anything more than the purely recreational. People always hurt you, they always let you down, they always leave._

Blinking back the tears, she turned her head to face the glass wall of her office which looked out over the lab. Suddenly, her heart skipped a beat. Booth was walking towards her, engrossed in a file and talking to someone she couldn't quite see. Rounding the metal pillar, Brennan saw his companion.

Cam.

Her heart sunk as she watched their easy manner, their mild flirting.

_He has Cam, why would he ever want me?_

Refusing to let herself feel the disappointment that threatened to pull her into a deep dark pit of despair, Brennan sat up straight and took a long breath, steadying herself. She felt herself detach from the situation at hand, felt her heart return to the box that Booth had previously managed to crack open.

_And it's his fault that it's closed again. _

She watched as Cam peeled away in another direction and Booth kept coming, thoroughly engrossed in the file as he flicked through pages. She quickly pulled out her keyboard and booted up a selection of reports, desperately wanting to look busy when he arrived.

Seconds later, there was a knock at her door. Closing her eyes briefly as she took another long breath, Brennan tried to keep her voice level.

"Come in."

It just sounded cold.

Booth sauntered in with a slight frown, his eyes locking on the back of her head as she refused to look away from the computer screen, pretending it was the most interesting thing in the world. He sunk in to the chair opposite her desk and waved a hand in her direction.

"Bones? What's with the closed door?"

She answered without looking at him.

"I wanted some peace and quiet. Some of us actually do work around here, you know, as opposed to gossip and flirting."

She couldn't hide the bitterness in her tone and she saw him flinch out of the corner of her eye at the venom dripping from her words. Slowly, he leant forward with his elbows on his knees as he attempted to get her attention.

"Bones, what's wrong?"

She didn't answer.

_If I talk, there are too many things that I might say, that I'll regret. Angela was wrong, he doesn't see me the same way I see him. If he did, he wouldn't be with Cam._

He sighed heavily at her lack of response, his next words quiet and full of concern.

"Temperance…"

That got her attention, sending a shiver down her spine at the use of her first name, something he rarely did and meaning all the more for it.

She turned slightly in her chair, still not quite fully facing him, still not quite giving in to that charm.

"Yes, Booth?"

"Is this because… Are you being weird with me because I'm leaving?"

"I'm not being weird with you about anything because I'm not being _weird_."

Booth raised an eyebrow and shook his head, not once breaking eye contact with her.

"I know you're not one for the psychology, Bones, but something's up and that's why you're being weird."

She couldn't keep it in any longer, she couldn't hide her frustration, her anger, her hurt.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He blinked slowly, obviously confused.

"I did tell you, Bones. I told you yesterday that I was going."

She waved a hand through the air in frustration, her voice hard.

"Not about that, about _Cam_."

His eyes widened slightly, his mouth slightly open as he struggled to regain his composure.

"Cam? What about her?"

Brennan's eyes narrowed, her cheeks flushing with anger.

"Don't play the fool, Booth, it doesn't suit you. I know you're sleeping with her."

He just stared at her, unable to come up with an appropriate response. Leaning back in her chair, she folded her arms across her chest as she sighed heavily.

"I know I said that if you 'slipped' again, then I'd support you but this is different. It's Cam that you've slipped with and didn't it ever occur to you the sort of problems that's going to cause? Did you not think about what this could do to us at work?"

He put his hands up in front of him in a distinct sign of surrender.

"To be honest Bones, I wasn't exactly thinking, full stop."

She threw her hands up in frustration as she practically jumped to her feet.

"Well, it's nice to know how high I feature in your list of priorities, Booth. To see that you never even considered the consequences this might have on our partnership, our _friendship_, and the fact that you didn't even dare to tell me about it -"

He cut her off as he stood, crossing the distance between them with two quick strides.

"Wait a damn minute, Bones. Since when is it necessary for me to seek your permission before I have a relationship with a woman? I'm a grown man, for God's sake! And as for why I didn't tell you, it was because I was worried that you were going to react the exact way that you are right now."

She glared at him, refusing to budge as he invaded her personal space.

"Can you blame me? You've jeopardised our whole working relationship!"

He blinked slowly and she was suddenly aware just how close he was, just how soothing his familiar presence was even in the midst of an argument. His eyes bored in to her own, his voice quiet and emotional.

"Are you bothered because it's jeopardised our working relationship or our _personal_ one?"

His words hit her like a blow to the stomach, winding and disorientating her.

_Of course that's why, of course that's what's wrong. I thought we had something… And now all you've done is prove me wrong, all you've done is hurt me._

She shook the thoughts out of her head, locking her eyes with her partner's. She could see the shock in his eyes at the coldness he found there, the nothingness. She spoke her words through almost gritted teeth.

"As far as I'm concerned, we don't have a personal relationship. At least not anymore."

Scooping a file off her desk, she marched out of the office without looking back, her heart breaking a little with every single step.

_No regrets, no looking back, no goodbyes. He doesn't want me so what's the point? He doesn't want me._

She attempted to blink back the tears as she marched through the lab.

_But I still want him_.

* * *

**A/N: Big thank you to Mariah. You're a star, little lady! Everyone else, please review and tell me what you think... Am I being a little bit _too_ sappy and angsty? I'm still not sure about all of this so please let me know where you think I'm going wrong (or God willing, where I'm actually going right!). Thanks for reading**


	7. Iris

_"I'd give up forever to touch you,  
__'Cos I know that you feel me somehow.  
__You're the closest thing to Heaven that I'll ever be  
__And I don't want to go home right now.  
__And I don't want the world to see me  
__'Cos I don't think that they'd understand.  
__When everything's made to be broken,  
__I just want you to know who I am."_

_'Iris', Goo Goo Dolls_

_oo00oo_

Jack Hodgins stood awkwardly in front of the sofa in Angela's holographics lab, watching the artist throw her head in to her hands as she wordlessly berated herself.

Still not sure exactly what had happened, Hodgins had to admit that he didn't actually care all that much. As long as Angela was alright, nothing else really mattered. But right now, she wasn't alright and that bothered him more than he dared to imagine.

Slowly, he seated himself beside her, extending a hand to bridge the gap. He could only let it hover above her back, not sure what else to do.

_For Christ's sake, you idiot! She's your friend and she's upset, of course you can comfort her. Just cos you've realised that you've got a thing for her, it doesn't mean you have to turn as socially handicapped as Zach…_

He dropped his hand on to her back gently, slowly rubbing small circles as reassuringly as he could. This seemed to be the last straw as the muffled sound of strangled sobs echoed up through the hands covering her face.

Worried for her, Hodgins curled his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, letting her head drop to his chest as he smoothed her hair down with his other hand. After a few moments of rocking her silently, she sniffed loudly and sat up though she made no move to remove his arm.

Eventually, she raised her red-rimmed eyes to his and offered up a sheepish smile.

"Sorry, Jack."

He smiled back, slightly bemused.

"Sorry for what?"

She shrugged.

"For being the emotionally unbalanced, stereotypical artist…"

He grinned and shook his head as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. Sighing, he squeezed her shoulders slightly.

"Want to talk about it?"

She blinked rapidly and for a moment he was worried that he had triggered another round of tears. Eventually, she sighed.

"Zach let on to Brennan that Booth and Cam have been, you know, sleeping together."

Hodgins frowned.

"And that got you upset? Why, were you wanting the gossip all to yourself?"

She glared at him playfully.

"No, you idiot. It's just that last night…"

She tailed off, her eyes distant as she weighed up whether or not to tell him her news. He prayed that she would, that she'd let him in. Eventually she sighed and nodded slightly as she turned to face him full on.

"Last night, Booth told Bren that he's going out to Iraq. They want him to drill recruits on being a sniper or something but it's still Iraq, you know? It's a _war_…"

Hodgins raised his eyebrows and shook his head slowly, obviously surprised at the news.

"Woah… I guess Bren didn't take it all that well, huh?"

Angela shook her head and swallowed hard.

"That's not the worst of it. I went round to hers last night after she found out and I… I convinced her that she needed to talk to Booth, to tell him how she really feels about him before he leaves…"

Hodgins nodded slowly, his eyes locked with Angela's.

"And then she finds out about him and Cam, holes herself up in her office and blames it all on you …"

She just nodded, sniffing loudly. Hodgins squeezed her shoulders reassuringly, bringing her head to rest on his chest again. The scent of her hair intoxicated him, the closeness of her body pressing against his…

_Snap out of it! She needs a friend right now, not an overly obsessed pervert…_

"Ange, it's not your fault. None of this is. And as for Bren… Well, once she's calmed down a bit, she'll see that too. Knowing Booth's about to leave has probably just left her a little… off guard, that's all. Just give her a couple of hours to simmer down and you'll be back to normal in no time."

She looked up at him through thick lashes, her eyes almost pleading with him, and he felt his heart skip a beat.

"You really think so?"

He nodded, a slow smile spreading across his lips.

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. I'm a scientist, Ange, I deal in facts."

She grinned and threw her arms around his neck as she gave him a quick squeeze, her voice breathy in his ear.

"Thank you, Hodgy. Thank you."

She pulled back slightly, their faces just inches apart. The way she looked at him, Hodgins could feel his pulse pounding in his ears.

_God, she's beautiful…_

Her lips parting slightly with an enticing smile, he leant in toward her a little. She didn't back away, she didn't run from the room screaming and crying, she didn't slap him.

_All good signs as far as I'm concerned. Go for it, dude, take your chance…_

He started to lean in again, her eyes drawing him closer to her, their lips almost touching, when an angry voice boomed from the doorway.

"Alright, which one of you two was it?"

They jumped apart quickly as if they'd just received a near lethal electric shock. Hodgins stared down at his feet guilty as Angela scrambled off the sofa.

"Booth…"

He jabbed a finger at her, his eyes flashing with rage and some emotion she couldn't quite place. Whatever it was, it scared her.

"No, Angela, was it you? Did you tell her?"

She backed away from him slightly and Hodgins jumped to his feet to move in between them, his fists balled at his sides as he spoke through firmly gritted teeth.

"Back off, man… You're _scaring_ her."

Booth blinked rapidly, dropping his hand to his side as he raked the other through his hair. He glanced at the artist, offering an apologetic smile.

"Angela, I'm sorry. That was out of line."

She nodded slowly, stepping round Hodgins to pat a friendly hand on his arm.

"It's ok. Things didn't go to well with Bren then, huh?"

He shook his head as he dropped himself on to the sofa, his head lolling back to stare at the ceiling. Hodgins watched him with a wary eye. Just because Angela forgave him so easily didn't mean that he would. She was his girl and he wouldn't let anyone intimidate or scare her, not if he could help it.

Angela perched on the arm of the couch, glancing up at Hodgins with a sheepish smile before turning her full attention on the crumpled FBI agent in front of them.

"What happened, sweetie?"

He sighed heavily.

"Well, I don't think me and Bones are exactly on speaking terms now, especially as she doesn't want us to have any kind of _personal_ relationship anymore."

His words dripped with bitterness. Angela's eyes widened as she looked up at Hodgins who just stared back, equally surprised.

"She actually said that?"

He nodded mutely, staring at his shoes. Hodgins just shrugged at her.

_This is Angela's territory. And anyway, I'm a man. What do I know about this kind of thing? I'm like Booth, I'd just screw it all up…_

Angela slid down on to the cushions beside Booth, laying a gentle hand on his arm.

"You don't get it, do you?"

He looked at her blankly as she threw her hands up in exasperation.

"God, you two are as bad as each other! Do I have to do _all_ the work around here?"

He blinked slowly and shook his head.

"Ange, what are you talking about?"

"Why do you think it bothered Bren so much the idea of you and Cam being together?"

Hodgins watched as Booth's eyes narrowed before he finally shrugged and turned his eyes back to Angela.

"Because Cam's her boss and I'm her partner. It's not like those two are best buds or anything… I guess she's right that it could cause problems at work."

Angela rolled her eyes.

"This has nothing to do with work, Booth. You know how I spent my evening last night? I went to Bren's apartment and consoled her as she worried about you, about you leaving. That's not something people do when they don't want a personal relationship, sweetie."

Booth just stared at her, his mouth open slightly.

"You mean…"

She nodded, a slow smile crossing her lips.

"So do you really want to leave with all this mess waiting for you when you finally get home? It's _Brennan_. Don't let her shut down again."

He got to his feet and Hodgins watched, mildly amused, as the normally confident Fed walked towards the door then turned back then walked away then came back again. Eventually he stopped, his full attention on Angela.

"So, what do I do? How can I put this right?"

The artist gave him an almost frustrated look as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Well, you need to break things off with Cam for a start…"

He blinked slowly, looking almost confused.

"But it _is_ over. It was just a mistake, a stupid mistake, and I told her so. It was just one night and then I ended it. You try breaking up with that woman and not being scared for your life."

He glanced at Hodgins, a glint in his eye.

"And your manhood…"

Hodgins smirked but quickly wiped the look off his face at the glare he received from Angela. Rolling her eyes, she turned back to Booth.

"So tell her that, sweetie, though I'd leave out the part to do with your manhood unless you want her to remove it for you... Tell her your night with Cam was a mistake and it didn't mean anything. Tell Bren exactly what it is that you feel about her because I guarantee, she feels the same way."

He stared at her, obviously trying to process this revelation, before a grin spread across his face and he grabbed Angela in an enormous bear hug, almost squeezing the life out of her. Hodgins had to desperately resist the urge to jump in and stop it.

With a final thank you, Booth practically sprinted out of the office leaving Hodgins to grin at the artist.

"Check you out, Little Miss Fix-It."

She grinned back and pretended to dust off her hands.

"And my work here is done."

They stood there smiling at each other for a few more moments before an awkward silence started to descend. Wanting to get away before the blush creeping up his neck became too obvious, Hodgins cleared his throat loudly and broke her gaze.

"Well, I'd better let you get back to, you know, drawing or holographing or whatever…"

He turned away but she grabbed his elbow, stopping him in his tracks. Turning back to her, he was surprised when she laid a lingering kiss on his cheek. Staring at her, unsure what to say, she smiled shyly.

"Thank you, Hodgy. For everything."

She moved back to her desk, flicking open her sketchpad, and he just watched her for a few more moments.

_God, she's beautiful…_

Regaining his composure, Hodgins left the office with a distinct spring in his step and massive grin plastered across his face, unaware that Angela was watching him every step of the way. Just like she always did.

* * *

**A/N: Just for any Brits reading this, as soon as I wrote Angela as Little Miss Fix-It, I had an immediate flashback to good ol' Jim'll Fix It... Now collapsing in giggles at the image of our favourite artist in a red shellsuit, Mr T worthy bling, and a cigar being wiggled between her fingers... Hee hee! Also, just a quick thanks to Ava yet again. She's my muse!**


	8. Touched

**A/N: I feel I should point out that this story was originally only going to be a couple of chapters long cos I'm still working on the sequel to 'The Man In The Lecture Hall' so I have to admit, I'm starting to get a little frustrated that this idea just won't leave me alone! Well, I can sleep when I'm dead, right? Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. It really is much appreciated. Actually it's more than that. Try _needed. _Yep, I'm desperate. Deal with it... **

Be prepared for slushy times ahead..._

* * *

_

_"I'll never find someone quite like you again.  
__I looked in to your eyes and saw that death does not exist,  
__I looked into your eyes and saw that I'll be missed.  
__I'll never find someone quite as touched as you.  
__I'll never love someone quite the way that I love you."_

_'Touched', VAST_

_oo00oo_

His heart pounding in his chest, Agent Seeley Booth charged through the Jeffersonian Medicolegal labs, drawing strange looks from the staff staring after him. Not that he cared or even noticed all that much. His full attention was focused on finding his Temperance.

What Angela had said to him had really struck home.

_I've spent way too long just wasting time. I can't do it anymore. I've got to find her._

The problem was, no matter where he looked, he couldn't see his partner anywhere. Pausing in the middle of the forensic platform, he looked around him wildly, running a frustrated hand through his hair. Deciding to do another lap around the lab in case he'd just missed her, he charged down the steps.

Rounding the corner, he ran straight in to the person walking down the corridor towards him, sending files, paper and crime scene photos flying through the air. Crouching down to help gather the information together, a gentle hand rested on his own.

He looked up, straight in to the concerned eyes of…

"Cam!"

She smiled broadly, her hand not moving from his.

"Seeley, is everything ok?"

He jerked away from her, practically throwing the files toward her as he jumped to his feet. Gathering the papers together, she slowly straightened up, a quizzical look on her face as he just attempted a casual shrug.

"Fine. Fine… Everything's just peachy."

She frowned at the sarcasm in his words, taking a step toward him.

"Seeley, seriously, what's wrong?"

Folding his arms staunchly across his chest, he tried to back away as she reached out to him again.

She paused, her hand just hanging in mid air.

"You know what, Seeley, for a people person, you can be really rude at times. What's going on?"

He relented, taking a small step towards her.

"Bones found out about you and me, and I screwed things up big style. Now, I need to find her and sort everything out before… Before I have to go."

Cam shrugged, her head cocked to one side.

"Ah, yeah, I can see how that would be a problem. Well, I haven't seen the good doctor in a few hours but what's the rush? I mean, you can always just corner her tomorrow."

Booth swallowed hard, struggling to meet her gaze.

"That's the thing. I guess… I guess I'm running out of tomorrows."

She stared at him blankly.

"What are you talking about?"

He sighed heavily as she took another step toward him. He didn't move away this time though, trying to stand his ground.

"I'm going out to Iraq in a couple of days to help train the snipers. I'll be gone for a couple of months."

Her eyes widened and she shook her head slowly.

"You're joking, right?"

He shook his head and tried to summon a smile though it died long before it reached his lips.

"No, it's true. And that's why I've got to find Bones. I've got to sort this out."

She nodded slowly and edged closer, her eyes locked with his.

"Well, good luck with that. And with everything in Iraq. Stay safe out there, Seeley. I mean it. And hurry back because we'll miss you round here."

The worry in her eyes pulled at something within him, some memory of how he once felt about her, and he reached out to her, guiding her in to a hug.

"Don't worry, Cam. I'll be fine."

She smiled in to his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, squeezing him reassuringly, as much for herself as for him.

Booth smiled in to the familiar scent of her hair, finding comfort in those same old arms. Looking over the crown of her head, the smile froze on his lips.

_Oh God…_

Brennan was stood at the far end of the corridor, the file forgotten in her hands as she stared at him, her eyes wide with hurt. For a moment, he could have sworn he saw tears in her eyes, right before she spun around and marched away.

_Oh God, oh God, oh God…_

He practically knocked Cam over as he charged after his partner, catching up with her just in time to have her slam her office door in his face. Taking a deep breath, he rested his hand on the door knob, trying to figure out just what he could possibly say to put things right.

_Just do what Angela said, just tell her how you feel. Tell her that you love her._

He pushed the door open to find her sitting ram-rod straight on the sofa, the file discarded beside her. He crossed the room towards her, his heart pounding in his ears.

"Bones, I was just saying goodbye to Cam. It was just a hug. There's nothing going on there."

She snorted with laughter, a slight sneer pulling at her lips as she stared at the wall in front of her. He took another step so he was right in her line of sight but she just seemed to look straight through him.

Crouching down in front of her, he reached out to take her hand but she just jerked it away quickly, folding her arms across her chest. Booth tried to hide the disappointment in his eyes as he sighed heavily.

"I swear, me and Cam was just a one-night thing. It didn't even mean anything! What was it you said to me once? That you look for a release with the people you've previously had a sexual rapport with? That's all it was, Bones, that's it."

She glanced at him, her eyes betraying the hope she was trying to hide before she blinked rapidly and looked away, getting to her feet.

"I don't care, Booth. It's nothing to do with me."

He jumped up in front of her, grabbing the tops of her arms to force her to look at him, even though he was fully aware that she could kick his ass in to next week if she really wanted rid of him.

"Temperance…"

The name rolled off his tongue like an old friend despite his rare use of the word and he saw the emotion that flared in her eyes at the sound of it. Even so, she made a half-hearted attempt to shake him off but he just pulled her closer.

"Temperance, look at me."

Eventually, she raised her eyes to him, revealing more in one look than she could ever say.

"Seeley…"

_How can just saying my name make me feel like this? _

Swallowing hard, he refused to let another moment pass him by. Pulling her hard against him, Booth leaned in to finally get the first kiss he felt like he had waited his whole life to receive.

* * *

**A/N: Ha ha, yes kids, I'm evil and leaving it there for now... Oh, it's fun to tease! Please please please let me know what you think cos I'm trying to avoid going too far and making them OOC (see Goldpiece, I managed it! Wohoo!) so feedback would be greatly appreciated. Should be another chapter up in the next few hours though... Hey, it's a sunday evening, I've got nothing better to do! Oh, and thanks to Ava and Mariah. You two keep me going.**


	9. Out Of Reach

**A/N: Thank you again for all the really kind reviews. It really does mean a lot. Please keep reviewing. Hey, I've already told you all I'm desperate so I don't really have to worry about the loss of dignity from begging... Even so, please don't make me beg. Please? Great, I'm doing it already... Thanks again everyone, you're all ace (don't worry Ava, you know you're still my favourite...). I might manage another update tonight, as long as I don't fall asleep on my computer again. Yes, _on_ it. I woke up with the pattern of my keyboard pressed in to my cheek and it stayed for hours... Joy!**

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* * *

_

_"Swept away by you, now I'm feeling like a fool.  
__So confused, my heart's bruised, was I ever loved by you?  
__Out of reach, so far, I never had your heart.  
__Out of reach, couldn't see, we were never meant to be.  
__And I hope that in time you'll be out of mind and I'll be over you."_

_'Out of Reach', Gabrielle._

_oo00oo_

Doctor Camille Saroyan wrapped her arms around the neck of the one man she ever regretted letting get away, the one man she had ever really loved, and smiled wistfully in to his shoulder. When she was this close, when she could smell his aftershave and feel his heartbeat, she could never understand why she ever let him go.

But then she felt his body tense up around hers and she remembered.

The force with which he cast her aside as he charged off down the corridor hit her hard, both physically and emotionally, and she had to steady herself against the metal wall.

Forcing herself to raise her eyes to Seeley's disappearing back, she caught a glimpse of that familiar blue lab coat and a chunky necklace rushing round the corner ahead of him.

_Brennan. Of course it was Brennan. It's always going to be her._

Shaking her head to herself, Cam crouched down to finish retrieving the file Booth had scattered when he ran in to her. Clutching the contents to her chest, she stared at the space he had just been.

_But even when he does stay with me, he's not really there. I don't think he ever was, even in the beginning. But why does it have to be that infuriating woman that he turns to now, that he leaves me for? _

Swallowing hard, she straightened up as she attempted to collect her thoughts.

_The minute I first saw them together, saw the way they looked at each other, I knew. I knew that tiny bit of hope I had coming all the way out here that I might be able to reignite something was truly extinguished. He was with her. All the way._

Cam put on her professional face, trying to shake the thoughts out of her head as she strode down the corridor.

_But then he came to me again… After all this time, he came back to me. And right then I knew I was never going to really stop hoping that one day he'd stop and realise I was here all along, that I'm the one he really wants. But it didn't last. It never lasts. _

She sighed to herself, clutching the files to her chest in a vain attempt to keep his warmth with her, to still feel those familiar arms holding her tight.

_Stop it! You can't keep thinking like this, it's totally irrational. He's just another man. There were plenty before him, there were plenty after, and there's plenty more to come. All those fish in the sea, I've got to catch a good one eventually._

She had to bite back the tears as the realisation struck her full force and as cold as night.

_I already had the good one. That one perfect match. It was Seeley. It was always Seeley._

Her hands tightened around the files as her pace quickened, her head down to avoid the eyes of the others milling around the lab.

_It was always him and I just let him go. This last time, I didn't even fight for him, I didn't even try._

Movement caught her eye and she lifted her gaze, staring straight through the glass in to Brennan's office and she stopped dead in her tracks.

Booth was on his knees in front of his partner, staring up at her with such a look in his eye, Cam felt like someone had just punched her in the gut.

_He's never looked at me like that. Not once. All those years, not once._

Brennan was on her feet, looking hurt, but then Booth rose in front of her, his face so close to hers, his hands gripping her biceps, forcing her to look at him. Cam wanted to look away, wanted to run as far as her legs would carry her, as far away as possible from what she was witnessing.

But instead she was frozen, her feet rooted to the spot. She couldn't tear her gaze away from the turbulent storm of emotions that raged in Booth's eyes.

_Emotions he never felt for me…_

She watched as Brennan seemed to relax a little in to his arms before he pulled her body up against his own, his lips leaning down to reach hers.

Cam couldn't watch any more. Turning on her heel, she attempted to keep her head held high as she marched toward her office.

_How could I be so stupid? How could I ever think that he might come back to me when all he's ever wanted is her?_

Shutting her office door quietly, Cam fell back against it, slowly sliding down its length. The tears started before she even came close to hitting the floor.

Sitting there, her legs wound beneath her and the file scattered across the carpet, Cam gave up.

_Seeley Booth wants only one woman in this world. He wants Temperance Brennan._

Her chest heaving from sobbing, she dropped her head back against the wood, closing her eyes against the thought spinning round and round her head and making her feel sick.

_He'll never want me, but I still want him. I always will._


	10. Honestly

**A/N: Ok, prepare for muchos angstos in this update (blame it on the tiredness) but I promise, the big pay off you've all been waiting for is coming very very soon. Right now though, I must sleep. Still not sure about this one so please, let me know what you think be it good or bad (though fluffy reviews will, as ever, receive my eternal love. And cookies. And who can say no to still-warm, home-baked cookies?) Go on, you know you want them...**  
_

* * *

_

_"So I'll file away all my dreams though I still believe in everything,  
__I wished your love away, I wished your love away.  
__Honestly over you, I'm honestly over you.  
__One last shot at the truth; I'm honestly over you.  
__So I'll drive away with all my things though I have a faint belief in everything.  
__I wished your love away and I tell the world,  
__I'm honestly over you.  
__I wished your love away."_

_'Honestly', The Cary Brothers_

_oo00oo_

Sitting on the couch in her office, Temperance Brennan felt her stomach churning as she relived the image of her partner wrapped up in the arms of Cam, her boss and the woman she had only just discovered he'd been sleeping with essentially behind her back.

_I don't understand… This morning, everything was so clear and I knew exactly what I had to do. I was going to tell him how I feel, damn the consequences. How did it get to this?_

The door to her office opened and she immediately knew it was Booth. She didn't need to look, she never did. She felt him when he was around.

_Is that one of Angela's signs too?_

She screwed her eyes shut for a moment to drive those sort of thoughts from her head, before she returned to staring at the wall in front of her and purposefully ignoring her partner. He crossed the room towards her, and it took a while to realise he was talking over the thundering of her heart in her chest.

"Bones, I was just saying goodbye to Cam. It was just a hug. There's nothing going on there."

For the first time in months, that familiar nickname grated on her and she let out a snort of derisive laughter, trying to tame the sneer on her lips.

_How can I even look at him now? He's not the man I thought he was. He's not the man I fell in love with._

She caught herself.

_So I do love him then._

She blinked rapidly, pushing her internal monologue to the back of her mind as she stared at nothing, only vaguely aware of Booth's presence in front of her.

_I _did_ love him. Did is past tense, as are my feelings. If I let him in again, he'll just hurt me. He's leaving soon anyway, why should I put myself through all that again for just a couple of days? It's totally irrational._

Booth crouched in front of her and reached for her hands. Still smarting from the image of him and her boss together, she jerked her hands away. Seeing the hurt on his face out of the corner of her eye, she felt her resolve weaken a little.

_It might be irrational, but it's Booth…_

She folded her arms across her chest, purposefully putting a barrier up between them as he sighed heavily.

"I swear, me and Cam was just a one-night thing. It didn't even mean anything! What was it you said to me once? That you look for a release with the people you've previously had a sexual rapport with? That's all it was, Bones, that's it."

She glanced at him and just prayed that he couldn't see the hope surging within her.

_You're the one that told him he needed to find a release, Temperance. It's not all his fault. And if it was just a one time thing, if it was just recreational…_

Cursing herself for her weakness, she blinked rapidly to try and clear the emotion from her eyes as she jumped to her feet.

"I don't care, Booth. It's nothing to do with me."

_But I do care. I do want it to be my business and my concern. I just can't take that step, not now, not after today…_

He jumped up in front of her and grabbed the tops of her arms, his fingers slightly digging in to her biceps as he turned her to face him.

"Temperance…"

_That one word, just that one word… All he needs to do is say my name and I'd go running, wherever he is, I'd go to him._

She half-heartedly tried to shake him off.

_Not this time. He's the one who's leaving, going to the other side of the world where I could lose him forever. He's the one who turned away from me and slept with my boss._

He pulled her closer and she felt the breath catch in her throat.

"Temperance, look at me."

_No! No, I can't. I won't. If I look at you, you'll give me that charm smile and make my knees buckle and… _

Slowly, she raised her eyes to his, his name escaping from her lips before she could stop it.

"Seeley…"

He seemed to shudder slightly in front of her and Brennan felt her heart skip a beat.

_Does he… Does he really feel the same way about me as I do about him?_

Suddenly, he pulled her towards him, their chests slamming together as his arm snaked around her waist, holding her tightly against him. Her every thought seemed to drift away on the heat of his ragged breath, the scent of his aftershave, the warmth of his touch.

He was leaning in towards her, his eyes lost in hers, and she was frozen there in his gaze, totally unable to move either towards him or away. Her lips parted slightly as her eyes began to close, welcoming the sensation that she had longed for.

"When do you leave?"

Her voice surprised even her.

_Temperance Brennan, you are a Grade A idiot… Idiot, idiot, idiot!_

He had frozen in front of her, his lips barely an inch from hers as a look of confusion clouded his dark eyes.

"What?"

She blinked.

_That's it, you ruined it. You missed your chance._

Her nerve gone, Brennan leaned away from him slightly, as far as his tight hold around her waist would allow.

"To Iraq. When do you go?"

There was a look in his eye that she couldn't quite place, something mixed in with his obvious frustration. He swallowed hard and shook his head slightly.

"Er, Wednesday. I leave on Wednesday."

She just stared at him. Finally finding her voice, she was surprised by how high pitched it had suddenly become.

"But today's Monday… You're leaving the day after tomorrow?"

He just nodded, a slight frown knitting his brow as he stared at her. Longing flared in his eyes and she couldn't bear to see it, couldn't bear to get so close when he was about to desert her.

Reaching round behind herself, she peeled away his firm grasp and took a step back, hands on hips.

"And how long have you known?"

He stood there in front of her, confused and frustrated, looking like a lost little boy. Blinking slowly, he seemed to drag himself back to the present and shrugged.

"About a couple of weeks, I guess."

Her eyebrows practically shot through the roof.

"So what, you thought you'd wait till the last possible moment before you told me?"

He shook his head and let out a strangled sigh. Eventually, he took a step closer to her, his face darker than before. That look concerned her but she stood her ground as he threw his hands up in exasperation.

"What the hell is going on here, Bones?"

She raised an eyebrow, her jaw jutting forward as she held her head high, ignoring the implication towards their almost kiss.

"I could ask you the same question, Booth, leaving all this to the last minute, not telling me about Cam, all of it! You're obviously not the man I thought you were."

She regretted it the second she said it, the second she saw the hurt flash in his eyes. But he blinked and it was gone, and it was too late for her to take it back. He just shook his head and turned away, mumbling to himself.

"I don't know why I bother with you sometimes."

She couldn't stop herself. Even as her voice got loud and angry, she knew it had just been a throw-away comment, that it didn't mean anything, but she poured all her frustration and anger and confusion and love in to her response. She couldn't stop it.

"Don't know why you bother with me? Well, I can tell you the feeling's mutual. If you want to go to Iraq and play the hero, fine by me. At least then I don't have to worry about you contaminating my crime scenes or sleeping with any other of my colleagues."

He spun round to face her, shocked by her sudden outburst and not sure how to reply. Not that it mattered, Brennan hadn't finished with him yet.

"And to think that I was going to listen to Angela! She told me… I was going to beg you to stay, I was going to tell you that there was a possibility I felt something for you beyond the professional, but at least now I know how wrong I was. You don't know why you bother with me? Well, here's the thing _Agent_ Booth. You don't need to anymore. You go off and do whatever the hell you like in Iraq but when you get back, you can be damned sure that I won't be waiting and nor will this partnership, professional or otherwise."

He took a step toward her, his mouth open to say something, but at the fire raging in her eyes he quickly snapped his jaw shut. They just stood there for a brief moment, staring and wondering what the other would do next.

Booth was the one who flinched. He was the one who walked away.

Brennan just watched him go, tears prickling at her eyes.

_Temperance, what have you done?_

Angela appeared in the open doorway, her face a picture of concern.

"Sweetie, what the hell just happened? Booth's got a face like thunder and I could hear you yelling from the other side of the lab."

Without even being particularly conscious she was doing it, Brennan shut down, her heart now sealed once again in its air-tight box. She marched over to her desk and settled herself in the chair, switching on the computer as if nothing had happened. When she finally responded to her friend, her voice was as distant as she had just become.

"Booth is leaving on Wednesday. That's all there is to it, Angela."

The artist frowned, her hands on her hips as she stared down at Brennan.

"Don't give me that no nonsense rubbish, Bren. I'm not buying it. That man wouldn't just give up on you without a fight and by the sounds of it, that's exactly what he got."

Brennan raised her eyes, locking her gaze with Angela's. Opening her mouth to speak, she suddenly found the words weren't there. She swallowed hard, taking a deep breath to steady herself, before she tried again.

"He's leaving in less than two days. And he's never coming back."

Angela shook her head fervently, immediately reaching for her best friend's hand.

"Don't say that, sweetie. He's going to be fine out there. It's Booth. That man's practically made of Teflon! I mean, how many times can one guy get shot, beaten and blown up before it just gets ridiculous? He's verging on becoming Wile E. Coyote…"

Ignoring the reference she didn't understand, Brennan shook her head slowly, a single tear slipping down her cheek.

_It's too late, I can't protect myself anymore. He's got rid of my walls for good._

"No, Ange. He's never coming back to _me_. I made sure of that when I basically told him that I didn't want him. I panicked and I lost him, the one thing I was ever really scared of. And I was the one who made it happen."

Breaking down in her friend's arms for the second time in as many days, Brennan cursed herself for her weakness, for her fears, for her loneliness. But most of all, she cursed herself for ever thinking that Booth was the one who would hurt her.

She managed that all by herself.


	11. Good Life

**A/N: This is just a brief update right now. Had a busy and hectic day so not really had time to tackle this. As a result, I'm still not really sure about this chapter. Please let me know what you think. Remember, reviews make me write faster, hee hee... Anyhow, I might manage another update in a couple of hours. Bring on the angst!**  
_

* * *

_

_"Everyone knows that you're my favourite girl  
__But there's some things in life that are not meant to be,  
__I'm not meant for you, and you're not meant for me."_

_'Good Life', Francis Dunnery_

_oo00oo_

Booth stormed through the corridors of the Jeffersonian, the expression on his face warning every person he passed to stay well away from him. Marching out in to the parking lot and towards his SUV, he let out a long breath.

_She moved away from me. She rejected me, pushed me away. I thought…_

He clambered in to the car, slamming the door hard behind him in an effort to stop where his mind was wandering.

Now hidden from view, he let the anger and frustration slide from his face to be replaced with a look of confusion and hurt.

_I thought that maybe she loved me…_

He rested his forehead against the steering wheel, trying to gather his thoughts.

_Maybe it was my fault. I should have told her earlier that I was leaving, Maybe if I'd told her, she would have asked me to stay. But not now. The way she reacted…_

He sighed heavily, her words weighing him down.

_The way she looked at me, that anger… _

He sat up straight, digging in his pocket for his cell phone.

_I should call her, I should face up to all of this and sort it out. I can't leave with her hating me like this._

The cell phone in his hand, his thumb paused over his partner's speed dial.

_But then what if she changes her mind and she tells you to stay, Seeley? What would you do then, how could you say no? You have to go to Iraq. You know that they need you out there and if helping with the training means saving just one life, just one, then it's worth it. You have to go. You have to leave her._

His gaze trailed back towards the Jeffersonian and he just stared up at the imposing building.

_All that happened in her office was she made it easier. You were the one making the mistake, Seeley. You tried to kiss her and what if you had? You would hate yourself come Wednesday, come the time you have to go._

His jaw set in a firm line, he turned the key in the ignition, pulling out of the parking lot for what he knew could be the last time.

_All she did was make it easier. All she did was say goodbye._

oo00oo

Temperance Brennan lay curled up on the sofa in her office, shrouded in darkness. After Booth had left, she had focused on her work, pouring herself in to the details to distract her from the aching in her chest and the temptation to find her partner.

_I shouldn't have said the things I did. I didn't even mean them. Booth just makes me so mad sometimes…_

Now the lab was empty and everyone had gone. She knew she needed to go home but she wasn't sure if she could manage it.

Struggling to her feet, she shrugged the blanket from her shoulders and ran a tired hand across her face, trying to wake herself up.

_There's nothing more I can do tonight._

Crossing the office, she grabbed her bag and started sorting through her things, retrieving her car keys from the edge of the desk. She froze, staring down at the toy pig next to her computer. Booth had given it to her following a tough case that had resulted in her having to kill a man.

_I had to do it, to save Booth._

Frowning, she swallowed her guilt and picked up Jasper, stroking his head distractedly.

_Just like he saved me so many times. From Kenton, from the bomb in my fridge, from myself._

Her grip tightened around the pig as her eyes began to swim with tears.

_And now he's going. He's leaving me. And I didn't exactly give him reason to stay._

She gently placed Jasper back on her desk with a wistful smile as she hitched her bag on to a shoulder.

_But I will. I'm not giving up without a fight. Not this time._

Marching out of the office, she gave a cheerful nod to the bleary eyed security guard on duty.

_Tomorrow, I'm going to tell him the truth. Whether he leaves or not, he has to know. I'm going to tell him that I love him._


	12. Winter

_"I should know who I am by now…  
__Your name is the splinter inside me while I wait…  
__But I don't have to make this mistake  
__And I don't have to stay this way  
__If only I would wake."_

_'Winter', Joshua Radin_

_oo00oo_

Angela leant against the railing that encircled the forensic platform, adding a few finishing touches to her latest sketch. With a sly smile, she flipped the pad shut as Hodgins approached, trying to grin through an enormous yawn.

"Hey Ange, how's it going?"

"Not too bad thanks. I'm about to embark on the first phase of my evil plan though…"

She let her words dangle in the air for the conspiracy-fuelled scientist as his eyes narrowed.

"Evil plan? You do realise that the whole point of our jobs is to _catch_ the bad guys, not _become_ them?"

She grinned, linking her arm through his as she guided him back down the steps, missing the distinct reddening of his cheeks as her hand made contact.

"Booth leaves tomorrow, sweetie, and I say if he's gotta go to some hell-hole war zone, then the least we can do is give him the send off he really wants."

Hodgins blinked rapidly as Angela led him in to her office.

"You mean, get him a chorus line of showgirls, a black jack table and a really big gun?"

Angela glared at him playfully, placing her sketch pad on her desk before dropping in to her chair, swinging it round to face him.

"As fun as that sounds, I think it'd be a little hard to organise before tomorrow morning. I was thinking along the lines of getting him something a little more readily available."

She nodded behind him and he turned to glance over his shoulder, seeing Brennan strolling towards her office with her nose buried in a thick book. He turned back to the stunning artist in front of him.

"Readily available? That's Doctor _Brennan_ you're talking about. I think Booth would have more luck with the showgirls. It sure as hell would be fun. All those feathers and sequins…"

Angela rolled her eyes.

"He doesn't want anyone but her and, as much as she wants to deny it half the time, she doesn't want anyone but him either. They're a perfect match."

Hodgins eyes locked with hers, his gaze intense.

"So, these two colleagues, these friends, are basically destined to be together even though they're yet to share their feelings and admit what's really going on?"

Angela was caught there in his gaze, seeing the desire in his eyes and knowing it was reflected in her own. She just nodded, unable to form the words. A slow smile spread across his lips as he took a step closer.

"Then we'd better give them a hand with that. What's the plan?"

Angela grinned.

_This is going to be good…_

oo00oo

Temperance Brennan had managed to resist the urge to call her partner all night and all morning. She had to give herself time to thoroughly think it through, to figure out just what she was going to say, to plan it out carefully and analytically. But now she was getting antsy.

She reached for the phone just as Angela marched in to her office with a wide grin. Brennan looked up at her with a tight smile, her hand on the handset.

"Ange, could you give me a minute? I just need to make a phone call."

Her friend frowned briefly before the smile seemed to widen even more.

"Sure sweetie, you go ahead. Just give me a yell when you're done."

She practically skipped out of the office, pulling the door closed behind her, and leaving Brennan wondering just how her friend always knew exactly what she was thinking.

_I hate psychology…_

Taking a deep breath, she stared down at the phone, willing herself to pick it up.

_You can do this, Temperance. It's not like you've never called your partner before._

Her stomach seemed to be tying itself in knots.

_You've practised what you're going to say, you know it off by heart. Just pick up the damn phone and tell him._

Slowly, she removed the handset and dialled Booth's office, ignoring how much her fingers were shaking.

"You've reached the office of… Special Agent Seeley Booth… The agent you are trying to reach is unavailable at this time. Please leave a message after the tone."

Brennan hung up.

_I'll be damned if I'm having this conversation by voice mail._

She dialled her partner's cell phone, willing him to pick it up. After six rings, she heard the familiar deep voice.

"Hey, you've reached Seeley Booth. Sorry I can't get to the phone right now but leave a message and I'll get back to ya soon as I can. Thanks!"

She hung up again, a slight feeling of concern beginning to overtake her nerves.

_He always answers his phone. Maybe he's ignoring me…_

She stared at the phone on her desk, almost as if it itself could give her answers. Unsurprisingly, none came.

_Maybe he's interrogating a witness or he's stuck at a crime scene. Maybe he just didn't hear the phone._

Convincing herself that she was just being irrational, she booted up her computer.

_He'll get back to me in a few minutes. He always does._

Sorting through her emails, the minutes seemed to stretch on for hours and her eyes kept dragging back to the phone on her desk.

After twenty minutes of reading the same email over and over because she wasn't taking it in, Brennan called the one person she knew who could help.

"Deputy Director Cullen."

Brennan tried to force the worry out of her voice as she greeted her partner's boss.

"Agent Cullen, it's Doctor Brennan."

There was a slight smile in his voice as he replied. She had been well aware of his increased respect for her following the tragic case involving his daughter nearly a year earlier.

"Hello, Doctor Brennan, this is a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering if you could tell me where Booth is at the moment. He's not picking up his office line or his cell phone."

There was a pause at the other end before Cullen cleared his throat.

"Doctor Brennan, Agent Booth is not here. As I'm sure you're aware, he leaves for Iraq tomorrow. I'm sorry but I have no idea where he is."

Brennan's heart sank.

"Thank you, Agent Cullen."

She hung up, dropping her head in to her hands.

_Where are you, Booth? _

She picked up the phone again, determined to try one last time.

"Hey, you've reached Seeley Booth. Sorry I can't get to the phone right now but leave a message and I'll get back to ya soon as I can. Thanks!"

The tone sounded, jerking her in to action.

"Booth, it's me, it's Temperance. I… I need to talk to you. Could you please give me a call when you get this? It's urgent. Thanks."

She hung up, staring at the receiver in her hand.

_What if he doesn't call back? With everything I said yesterday, the way I basically forced him away, he'd be well within his rights to just go. After all, he may not be a typical alpha male but he does have the stubbornness associated with those traits…_

Determined to say her piece, Brennan grabbed her coat and practically ran out the door, heading straight for his apartment.

* * *

**A/N: Off to watch the wonderful Daily Show with Jon Stewart now, then Spooks, then Have I Got News For You, then more Spooks now... Yeah, my evening is being dictated by television... I have the place to myself tonight and I can't be arsed to do anything else, so sue me! Even so, I'll try and get another update online soon, definately by tomorrow morning. Reviews keep me going...**


	13. Run

_"You've been the only thing that's right in all I've done  
__And I can barely look at you, but every single time I do  
__I know we'll make it anywhere from here…  
__Even if you can not hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear.  
__To think I might not see those eyes makes it so hard not to cry  
__And as we say our long goodbyes, I nearly do.  
__Have heart, my dear, you're bound to be afraid  
__Even if it's just for a few days,  
__I'm making up for all this mess."_

_'Run', Snow Patrol_

_oo00oo_

Booth stretched his legs out on the sofa with a broad smile, watching his son re-enacting what the monkeys had been doing at the zoo during his school trip. Bouncing off the seats and swinging round a lamp, Booth didn't have the heart to tell him to calm down, the boy's enthusiasm infectious as the FBI agent drunk in every detail he could, determined to burn every second in to his memory.

Jumping up to grab his son under the arms, he swung Parker up and round his head, grinning at his giggles and not hearing the phone vibrating down the side of the couch. He had switched it to silent and taken the home phone off the hook, wanting no one to disturb his precious time with his son.

_He's just so beautiful, so perfect. How did I ever create something this wonderful?_

Parker stretched his arms out, giggling above Booth's head.

"Look daddy, I'm a plane! I'm a plane!"

Booth laughed, sweeping the little boy through the air, round and round the living room, extracting giggles of glee. Slowing down before they both got to dizzy, Parker extended his arms out and wrapped them round his father's neck, resting his head on the broad shoulder.

Booth wrapped his arm's tightly around his son, resting his chin on the top of his head and laying gentle kisses on his blonde curls.

_My Parker, my beautiful Parker…_

Those blue eyes stared up at him, a tiny frown creasing his smooth skin.

"Daddy?"

He smiled, a look of pure peace in his eyes.

"Yes, Parker?"

"When do you get on your plane?"

Booth blinked rapidly, suddenly remembering why he had his son on a weekday and why he wasn't at work.

"Tomorrow, son. I go tomorrow. Like I told you, I won't be gone too long."

Parker seemed to be considering something, his eyes distant before snapping back up to his father, his hero.

"Daddy?"

"Yes Parker?"

"Why'd you have to go to Iarack?"

Booth couldn't help but smile.

"It's called Iraq, son. And I have to go to teach some people how to do some new things at their jobs and keep themselves safe."

_Well, it's not like I can tell him that I'm going to teach them how to kill other people better, how to do the things I've already done myself._

"Are you going to be a solderer again?"

Booth blinked slowly, placing his son down on the couch carefully.

He and Rebecca had never hidden his past as a Ranger from Parker, but nor did he yet fully understand the full scope of what his father had done, just what it was that a soldier really did. Some part of Booth hoped he never would have to understand.

"I won't really be a soldier, no. I'm just a teacher really. I'll still be an FBI agent when I get home."

"And you'll be home soon?"

He nodded, ruffling his young boy's hair with a sad smile as Parker cocked his head to the side, one eyebrow raised.

"And if you're not a solderer, the baddies won't shoot you, right daddy?"

The buoyant hope in his voice caused Booth's stomach to clench, the taste of bile strong in the back of his throat.

_How do I possibly explain to a four year old the complexities of war, the fact that no one is safe in this time of terrorists, hatred and fear? How can I tell my son that no matter how far back from the front line I am, there's always a risk? That even just going to work on a morning as a FBI agent could mean some 'baddie' gets a lucky shot in._

Swallowing hard, Booth wrapped his arm around his son's shoulders, squeezing him tight.

_I hope he never has to know how close I've come to death, and not just my own. I've taken lives, I've felt the hot splatter of blood on my cheeks, I've caused pain and suffering to the few in the hopes that it would prevent it happening to the many. I hope he never knows. And now I'm going back, no matter how much I want to stay here with my perfect little boy._

"Parker, I…"

_Oh God, protect him. Keep him safe while I am gone. Don't let him know the pain that comes with what I have to do, don't let him fear a thing. Shelter him, protect him, guide him. Keep him safe till I get home._

He sighed heavily and saw a flicker of doubt in his son's wide eyes. He forced a smile on to his lips, his voice thick with emotion.

"I swear to you, Parker, I'm coming home to you. I promise. And even when I'm not here, just know that I'll still be with you in my own way, I'll still be thinking about you and missing you because I love you so much. I promise, I'm coming home."

That was enough for the little lad who made a show of giving his father a solemn nod, imitating Booth's own position. Slowly, an enormous grin spread across his excitable features as Booth turned his face away, blinking back tears.

"And are you gonna bring me back a big present?"

Booth laughed, heartily and happily.

"The biggest! And it'll be even _cooler_ than the robot you got for Christmas!"

Parker dived at him, knocking his father back in to the cushions as Booth wrapped one arm round his son's shoulders and used the other to start tickling. Giggling and squirming, the pair's rough housing spilt over the side of the couch and on to the living room floor.

Slightly winded, Booth lay chuckling on the carpet as Parker scrambled to his feet, his never ending energy just kicking in.

"Can't catch me, daddy!"

Chasing the blonde head bobbing through the apartment and weaving in and out of the furniture, Booth's troubled mind was finally calmed by the love of his son.

Even so, one thought kept tugging at the back of his mind.

_I wish Temperance was here._

* * *

**A/N: And you all thought he wasn't answering his phone because he was with Cam or some skanky blonde… Ha ha! Angela's evil plan should kick in next chapter which should be up tomorrow evening, work permitting. Let me know what you think of Booth and Parker. Just hope I did the father & son thing justice.**


	14. All In My Head

_"I'm just trying to get by,  
__Everybody moves so fast, no time to wonder why.  
__Is it all in my head?  
__Could everything be so right without me knowing?  
__I'm just doing the best I can."_

_'All In My Head', Shawn Mullins_

_oo00oo_

Angela was lurking. She hated using that word but for once, it was true. Hiding round the corner, she watched as Brennan picked up Jasper, the little toy pig Booth had given her, and stroked it absently.

_Come on girl, you know you want him. _We_ know you want him. Hell, I'm sure most of the time _he_ knows you want him. So what the hell are you waiting for?_

Brennan's face changed, a look of determination settling there. She picked up the phone and her face seemed to fall a little. She said something quickly and hung up, staring down at her desk.

Suddenly, she grabbed her coat and a smile pulled at her lips.

_She's going to Booth!_

Angela clapped a hand over her mouth to muffle the excited yelp that threatened to escape. Suddenly, Hodgins came charging round the corner, a large cardboard tube under his arm. Breathing heavily and his face red, Angela regarded him with a raised eyebrow.

_He's even cute when he's exhausted and out of breath. Which bodes well for me…_

A sly grin dimpling her cheeks, she rubbed a hand on his back as he bent over, struggling for breath.

He straightened up and thrust the tube at her as he struggled to speak while gasping for air.

"He.. Wasn't… There. He's… Got the day… Off."

Angela's eyes widened as she looked from the cardboard tube in her hands to Brennan marching down the corridor.

_No no no no no no no no!_

Panicking, she yanked the contents out of the tube and unfurled it, almost ripping the paper in the process. She grabbed a pen and scribbled a message on the back as neatly as she could in her rush before thrusting it back at Hodgins.

"He has to get this. Now!"

Hodgins rolled his eyes as Angela moved away.

"Exactly when did I become your messenger boy?"

She spun on her heel, grabbing his face with both hands and planting a large kiss on the corner of his mouth, his beard tickling her chin. Drawing back a little, she saw the smile in his eyes and felt it spreading to her lips. He winked at her and she didn't want to move.

_Dammit, you have to leave him, you've got to get Brennan…_

She moved backwards, her eyes locked with Hodgins. With a quick wink at him, she sped off after her friend, leaving the scientist grinning in her wake.

Speeding round the corner, she saw Brennan walking through the automatic doors out of the lab. Running as fast as she could, she caught up with her and grabbed her arm.

"Bren, where are you going?"

Temperance shook her arm off and carried on walking.

"I'm sorry, Ange, but I've got to find him."

_Ok, this is good, this proves she really does love him just like I thought. But she can't go after him, not yet, just not yet…_

Keeping pace with her friend, Angela's mind raced with how to stop her. Trying to keep the sly grin off her face, she stopped dead in her tracks.

"Bren…"

Something in her voice made her friend pause. She turned back, a frustrated look on her face.

"What? I'm kind of in a hurry here, Ange."

_Here comes the hook…_

"Yeah but sweetie, do you really want to have what is potentially the most important conversation of your life looking, well, looking like _that_?"

Brennan looked down at herself with a frown.

"Why? What's wrong with what I'm wearing? It's the same sort of thing I always wear."

Angela took a step forward.

_Now for the line…_

"That's the point, sweetie. You need to look even better than you normally do. You need to grab his attention with some ultra-tight, seriously alluring, utterly irresistible dress. And the hair…"

She cocked her head to one side, putting on a slight grimace as Brennan's eyes widened, taking a tentative step toward her friend as she unconsciously tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear.

_And sinker…_

"Angela, can you help me?"

She grinned from ear to ear.

_And the Oscar goes to…_

"Of course, sweetie. Just let me grab my jacket, ok? I'll be one minute."

She dashed off back toward the lab, a glowing feeling in her stomach that steadily spread to make her fingers and toes tingle as she caught sight of Hodgins struggling to get the paper back in to the tube.

Pausing to watch him for a moment, Angela felt her heart skip a beat as he bit his bottom lip with concentration, his blue eyes intense with frustration before a giant smile erupted from within his beard when success finally came.

_That's my boy. Go get 'em, Hodgy._

As he hurried off in the opposite direction with a look of grim determination, Angela just smiled after him, already forming her next evil plan to get two colleagues together.

oo00oo

Brennan stood near the exit, her arms folded staunchly across her chest, as her mind wandered.

_Angela's right. I need to make an extra effort for Booth. After the way I treated him, I'm going to need all the help I can get._

She couldn't help but let a little ironic smile brush her lips.

_Me, Doctor Temperance Brennan, Little Miss Independent, actively seeking help from friends on a personal issue. I never thought the day would come…_

Her smile spread, becoming more genuine.

_It's all because of him. His support, his friendship, his charm, all of him. He's made me see the importance of my relationships, forced me to open up. I just hope he still wants to open up to me._

Brennan was dragged back to reality with a purposeful cough behind her. Turning, she found Cam standing in the corridor, hands on her hips.

_Well, at least I know she's not the reason he's not picking up the phone…_

"Doctor Brennan, it's the middle of a work day. Where exactly are you going?"

Angela came speeding round the corner, struggling with her coat before she came to a sudden stop at the sight of their boss, a sheepish look spreading across her face. Cam just rolled her eyes.

"And you're taking Miss Montenegro with you?"

Brennan sighed heavily.

"Doctor Saroyan… Cam. Booth leaves tomorrow."

Cam's eyes narrowed.

"I'm aware of that. What's that got to do with you leaving now?"

Brennan held her gaze, aware the look in her eye might just be convincing enough, she was that desperate.

"I… I need to see him. I need to sort things out between us before he goes. We had a disagreement."

Cam just stared at her for a moment before her expression softened and she nodded slowly.

"Then I guess you'd better go."

She started to turn away, ignoring the looks of surprise on both Angela and Temperance's faces before she turned back to the only woman in the world who made her feel inferior, made her feel unwanted.

"Oh, and Doctor Brennan?"

Temperance smiled at her, one of the few openly genuine smiles she had ever offered her boss. Cam couldn't help but smile a little too, though she was well aware that it didn't reach her eyes.

"I don't expect to see you in the lab tomorrow either. You look like you're coming down with a stomach bug. Better use one of your sick days."

Brennan's smile grew even greater as Angela moved to her side, both of them showing real appreciation in their eyes.

"Thank you. That's…"

Cam cut them off with a wave of her hand.

"Go, before I change my mind. Go!"

The pair sped out in to the parking lot and Cam just turned away, not wanting to know how it was all going to end.


	15. Hold On Hope

_"But time still goes on  
__And through each life of misery  
__Everybody's got a hold on hope.  
__It's the last thing that's holding me."_

_'Hold On Hope', Guided By Voices_

_oo00oo_

Jack Hodgins sat in his Mini, staring at the cardboard tube lying across his lap. He loved the effort that Angela had put in to making things right between Booth and Brennan. He couldn't help but hope it would work out, if only to make his favourite artist happy.

For months he had watched her, feeling his heart pound at the slightest glance, the smallest smile. She was always around, always just out of reach. He knew she found her job hard at times and it killed him to see her upset.

_She's the one who has to see the faces, give the victim's back a real aspect of their life. She's the one who sees these cases for what they really are. She's the one with the good heart, and I'm always scared it's going to break._

That was why he had given her that single white rose all those months ago, a perfect specimen nicknamed the Romeo and Juliet. He had laid it on the desk in front of her, his heart racing at the look in her eyes, and he had known that she understood.

_She knew I was trying to help because I cared, not so much about the case but about her, always her._

Things had moved on since then, though neither had ever really said anything to confirm the growing attraction he knew they both were feeling. Not that it bothered him too much. For her, he was more than willing to wait.

Glancing up through the windscreen, Hodgins saw an elderly lady struggling up the steps to the building with her shopping. Tucking the cardboard tube under his arm, he jumped out of the car and jogged over to her.

"Do you need hand, mam?"

She smiled broadly as she thanked him, handing over a couple of bags while digging in her pockets for her keys. Her hand on the door knob, she cast a concerned eye over the young man in front of her.

"Do you actually live here, son?"

He smiled, adjusting his grip on the shopping.

"No, but I work with Agent Booth. I just need to drop this off to him."

He nodded at the tube under his arm and the little old lady's eyes began to twinkle as she pushed the door open.

"Ah, yes, Seeley... It's so nice having an FBI agent in the building. He's so helpful and neighbourly. Not like _some_ of your generation."

She smiled at Hodgins as he followed her to her door.

"Present company accepted of course, young man."

He grinned, handing the shopping to her across the threshold.

"Well, thank you mam. Have a good day now."

He excused himself, a part of him wishing he could take her up on her offer of lemonade and cookies, and ran up the stairs.

Venturing out on to Booth's corridor, Hodgins practically tip toed along the wall.

_God, I hope he's actually here or this whole plan's gonna go horribly wrong…_

Sneaking up to the door, Hodgins propped the tube against the frame. Reaching in to his bag, he carefully pulled out the tiny toy pig Angela had smuggled out of Brennan's office and placed it on top of the tube. Checking nothing was about to topple over, he straightened up and let out the breath he hadn't even realised he was holding.

_This had better work or Angela's gonna kick my ass from here to Timbuktu…Not that it wouldn't be fun..._

Preparing to run, he knocked as quickly and loudly as he could before dashing off back down the corridor. Hiding round the corner, he listened as the latch unlocked and the door opened. Hodgins had to do his best not to laugh as memories of childhood games flooded his mind.

Crouching down to the carpet, the scientist did exactly what Angela had told him not to do and sneaked a peek round the corner.

Booth was stood there, a strange look on his face as he stared down at the little toy pig in his hand. He leant down and picked up the cardboard tube, a frown knitting his brows together as he turned back inside, kicking the door closed behind him.

Hodgins got back to his feet, a sly grin erupting through his beard.

_Phase one complete…_

Digging the cell phone out of his pocket, he charged back down the stairs, well on his way to completing phase two.

oo00oo

Driving through the midday traffic was never fun and Brennan was getting antsy in the passenger seat. Glancing at her friend, she sighed heavily.

"Ange, are you sure you don't want me to drive?"

The artist rolled her eyes.

"With the mood you're in, yeah I'm sure, mainly because I want to get out of this car alive. Anyway, we're nearly there now."

Brennan sighed again and stared out of the window as they pulled to a stop at a red light. Her phone bleeping in the bag on the back seat, Angela curled her arm round behind her to grab it, not once taking her eyes off the red light.

Glancing at the caller ID, she struggled to keep herself from grinning.

"Hodgy! How's it going, bug boy?"

Brennan looked at her friend with a frown.

"Cam hasn't changed her mind has she? We don't have to go back, right?"

Angela waved a hand in Brennan's direction, trying to get her to quieten down. The anthropologist just narrowed her eyes and sighed heavily.

"Sure Hodgy, that's great. Thanks for letting me know. Just do me a favour and give me a ring when it's all ready. Yeah… Uh huh… Yeah, you too."

She hung up and switched the car back in to drive as the lights changed. Pulling off again, Angela glanced at the quizzical expression on her friend's face.

"He was just letting me know that Zach had finished with the skeleton we were working on earlier. They're just putting the tissue markers on now so I can give them a face later."

_Quick thinking, Ange. Nicely done! But is she going to buy it?_

Brennan just nodded, obviously satisfied, as she turned her gaze back out the window. Angela felt a slight smile pulling at her lips.

_Ok, I'm never trusting me again… I'm getting way too good at this whole lying malarkey…_

They drove on in near silence, finally pulling up to Brennan's building almost twenty minutes later. The anthropologist was out of the car and halfway up the steps before Angela had even turned off the engine. Rolling her eyes, she clambered out and followed her impatient friend upstairs.

Reaching the apartment, Brennan marched through the door and in to the living room. Standing in the middle of the room, a hint of uncertainty crept in to her expression. Angela pushed the door to and followed her friend inside.

Brennan turned, her face creased in to a frown, her sharp blue eyes distant.

"Angela…"

The look of doubt had the young artist concerned.

_Don't do it, Bren. Don't shut us out now…_

"What is it, sweetie?"

She guided her best friend to the couch, sitting her down.

"Angela, what am I doing?"

The artist swallowed hard.

"You're going after the man you love and you're fighting for him, everything you should be doing."

Bren stared off somewhere over Angela's shoulder.

"But all of this depends on _love_…"

She frowned, shaking her head as the anthropologist in her took over.

"Love is just the attraction between compatible genetic structures and the synchronisation of chemical responses. It's the release of serotonin and the rush of endorphins as our survival instincts attempt to help further the procreation of the species. It's not real. I mean, I can see that Booth is an ideal candidate for a monogamous relationship because he's a strong alpha male with good protective instincts as evident in his relationship with Parker. But none of that changes the fact that I'm basing all my intentions and plans on something that has absolutely no scientific basis beyond chemical reactions."

Angela blinked slowly and shook her head.

"Sweetie, you're just looking at the technical side of things. That works fine for cases and bones and prosecutions, but not now. This is about two people who want to be together, who want to share their lives with one another and just… Just love and be loved. There's nothing else like it in the world and you'll be thankful for every last second."

She sighed heavily, biting back tears.

"Kirk and I… We only had three weeks a year but those three weeks, they were the best of my life. And when I lost him…"

Brennan laid a gentle hand on her friend's arm as she cleared her throat.

"Don't make the same mistakes I did, Bren. You might never get another chance."

She sighed as she tilted her head away, shaking loose tears from her lower lashes. Brennan shuffled closer to her on the couch.

"Angela, I'm so sorry. I never meant to disparage your relationship with Kirk. Not that my powers of discernment have ever been particularly attuned to this sort of situation, but I know you cared a great deal for him, that you loved him. I'm sorry."

She waved a hand to silence her friend.

"Sweetie, you didn't _disparage_ anything, it's fine. I just need you to realise that if you keep looking at your relationship with Booth as some kind of anthropological case study, all that's going to happen is he leaves without knowing how you really feel and you'll end up missing your moment."

Brennan started, Angela's words triggering a memory of a conversation with Rebecca, the mother of Booth's child.

_"I think there's a moment for two people. A single moment where they can either catch fire or… Seeley and I, we missed our moment."_

Brennan's heart began to pound in her chest and she practically jumped to her feet.

_For just once in your life, Temperance Brennan, you're going to take a risk. No facts, no science, no anthropological markers, you're just going to have to trust that this is right. He leaves tomorrow, you might never get another chance._

_You might never get another moment._

Blinking rapidly, Brennan dismissed the voice in the back of her head trying to convince her that the single moment theory was utterly preposterous, and turned back to her best friend.

"Then I guess I'd better get moving."

* * *

**A/N: I promise it all kicks off proper with the culmination of Angela's plan in tomorrow's chapter so you'll finally find out what's in the cardboard tube. Just hoping it's not a massive disappointment. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go drug myself up with Night Nurse and Advil and go to bed... Please review and make me feel better!**


	16. Don't Look Away

**A/N: Have spent all day in bed (yeah, I finally took a sick day) so I'm not sure how much this chapter makes sense seeing as I can barely focus on the screen right now. This chapter actually turned in to a bit of a beast so I've had to split it in to two. The next one should be up relatively soon as long as my stomach contents stay down long enough... Yeah, I'm having a really fun day... Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far. I would send you all big sloppy kisses but I doubt you guys really want my mucky mucus... Oh, and Goldpiece, you were right as usual! Stop mind-reading!**_

* * *

_

_"The graves have passed, the moments don't last…  
__Don't look away,  
__If you do, then I may…  
__Your stare is like a spot on the sun,  
__I'm blind, but the only one  
__Who knows what to say to you,  
__I say it today to you…  
__Don't look away. If you do, then I may.  
__Don't look away anymore."_

_'Don't Look Away', Joshua Radin_

_oo00oo_

Booth tidied up the living room, putting away the numerous toys that had been thrown about during the afternoon. His arms full of multicoloured plastic, his eyes were constantly drawn back to his son, sleeping peacefully in a curled up ball on the sofa.

Dropping the toys in to their box, the hurried knock at the door made him jump. Checking Parker was still asleep, he crossed to the entrance. Taking a quick look through the peephole, he couldn't see anyone.

_That's not good…_

Slowly and carefully, he pulled the door open with a frown. As an FBI agent, he was wary of people just turning up on his doorstep, especially if they were people he helped put in jail. He swallowed hard, his eyes patrolling the corridor.

_Nothing. That's really not good…_

Finally, his eyes settled on the cardboard tube resting against the doorframe. As he crouched down, deeply suspicious of what his mystery caller might have left for him, he spotted the little toy pig resting on top.

He straightened up, his fingers grasping Jasper as he felt his heart sink.

_So not only does she reject me, she returns the gifts too. How can it hurt so much to go through a break-up when I haven't even technically been with her?_

He stared down at the pig in his hands and swallowed hard. He grabbed the cardboard tube and went back inside, kicking the door closed behind him. Whatever might be in the tube, he just didn't care anymore.

_She's made her feelings perfectly clear already._

Dumping both the tube and Jasper in the recliner chair, Booth settled on the sofa, gently stroking Parker's blonde hair out of his face. Even with his beautiful son right in front of him, his gaze kept pulling back to the tube.

Eventually, he gave up, curiosity getting the best of him. Crossing the living room silently, he picked up the tube and went over to the dining table. Sitting himself down, he paused.

_What if she's just returning something else that reminds her of me? What if it's just more rejection? I don't think I can take anymore, not from her._

Shaking his head at himself, Booth popped the lid off and gently pulled the large sheet of rolled up paper out with shaking fingers. Unfurling it, he spread it out in front of him and couldn't keep the smile from his lips.

_Good old Angela…_

Their resident artist had drawn a beautiful pencil portrait. In it, Booth stood with his arm around Brennan's shoulders with Parker stood between them, looking up with his blonde curls tousled in the breeze. All three of them were laughing, their eyes sparkling with happiness.

Booth dropped his chin in to the palm of his hand as he stared down at the portrait.

_It's beautiful. But it's just a picture. It's not real. No matter how much I want this to be true, it's just not real. Angela can meddle all she wants, it doesn't change the fact that I have to leave tomorrow._

His frustration began to grow and even as he crossed over to the sofa to retrieve his phone, he knew directing his anger at Angela was both out of line and completely pointless.

_She's not done anything wrong, not really. She's just trying to help. Even so…_

He fished his cell phone from down the side of the couch and noticed he had messages waiting. Absently flicking his phone open, he dialled his voicemail.

"Booth, it's me, it's Temperance. I… I need to talk to you. Could you please give me a call when you get this? It's urgent. Thanks."

His heart skipped a beat at the sound of her voice but something was different, something in her tone. She sounded almost…

_She's scared._

Booth stared at the phone in his hand.

_Did I do that? Did me walking out scare her, or is it just because I'm shipping out to Iraq tomorrow?_

He began pacing up and down the living room, his mind racing with possibilities.

_You know how bad she is at expressing her emotions, Seeley, and you didn't exactly help the situation. You just swooped in for a kiss, no warning, no nothing. No wonder she got scared. Plus, it's not like you gave her much time to adjust to the idea of you not being around anymore. Maybe she just wants to apologise, to sort things out before you leave. You both hate loose ends._

His eyes were drawn to the portrait still lying on the table before his gaze rested on Parker.

_I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving him, and I'm sure as hell not giving him back to Rebecca. I want to say a proper goodbye to my son._

He sat back down on the couch, carefully moving Parker so his head now rested on Booth's legs as he stroked his hair.

_No matter what else I might want, my son comes first._

oo00oo

Angela rummaged through the wardrobe, pleasantly surprised at what she was finding. Behind her, Brennan was pacing up and down, tapping her cell phone against the palm of her hand.

Suddenly, she stopped and Angela could feel her friend's eyes boring in to her back.

"Should I try calling him again? I mean, he normally rings me back straight away."

Angela rolled her eyes as she pulled out a little black dress and laid it on the bed with the rest of her selections.

"Sweetie, there could be a thousand reasons why he hasn't called. Stop worrying. You'll see him soon enough."

Brennan was obviously not satisfied with that answer as she renewed her pacing. Angela just turned back to the rails of clothing and unzipped a long cover. What she found inside caused a grin to spread right across her face.

She spun round, removing the cover and holding it up to her friend, squinting as she admired the effect.

"Perfect!"

Brennan looked down at the dress with a frown.

"Don't you think that's a little over the top, Ange?"

The artist gave her a cheeky grin as she steered her friend over to the dressing table and sat her down on the stool, talking over the anthropologist's shoulder to the reflection that stared back at her with a worried look in her eye.

"Not at all. Booth will go weak at the knees when he sees this. Now let's make a start on the hair."

Pulling out the hair band, Angela brushed her friend's hair and began to style it as carefully as she could. Brennan just stared in to the mirror, her mind obviously elsewhere. Angela sighed heavily.

_This had all better work. Those two belong together and if it takes a little meddling from me, so be it. _

Forty five minutes later, Brennan's hair and make up was done. Angela couldn't keep the grin from her face.

"You look absolutely beautiful, Bren."

She passed the dress to the anthropologist.

"You slip in to that and I'm just going to nip to the toilet."

Angela padded out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, locking the door behind her as she pulled her cell phone from her pocket and called Hodgins.

"Hey Hodgy, is everything ready?"

"Yeah, no problem. He loved the idea. But what time do you think Booth will show up?"

Angela sighed, shaking her head to herself as she checked her watch.

"Well, it's 4:15pm now and I said 5pm in the message. I can stall Bren for a bit here before we set off but you're gonna have to go to Booth's place and drag him out if need be."

Hodgins cleared his throat uncomfortably at the other end of the line.

"Er, Ange? You do realise that he's a hell of a lot bigger than me right?"

She smiled in to the phone.

"Please, Hodgy? Do it for me?"

"You know I will."

Her heart fluttering, she said her goodbyes and made her way back to the bedroom where Brennan was staring at her reflection in the full length mirror. She turned to Angela, her nerves obvious as she ran an almost shaking hand through her hair.

"And you're sure this isn't too much? I mean, I'm only going to his apartment. I feel a little overdressed."

Angela just smiled as she leaned on the doorframe, watching as Brennan spun round to get a better look at herself, the dress flowing out around her.

"You look amazing. And don't be nervous. I'll drive you there and be giving you moral support all the way."

Brennan let out a long, shaky breath as she nodded.

"Yeah, ok. Thank you Angela."

She turned her eyes on to her best friend, a smile pulling at her mouth.

"I really mean it. Thank you."

Angela just grinned back, and pulled Brennan in to an enormous hug.

"You're more than welcome, sweetie."

Standing back to admire the anthropologist, Angela felt the bundle of nerves in her stomach tighten up.

_Don't worry, Angela. It's all going to work out. It has to…_

oo00oo

Booth ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he stared down at the portrait. Picking it up for a closer inspection, the light from the kitchen shone from behind, giving the characters an ethereal glow.

_Wait a minute…_

There was something behind the smiling faces. Turning the picture over, Booth scanned the familiar handwriting scrawled across the back.

_Not every dream is unattainable, not every love is lost._

_Don't lose yours._

_Wong Foos. 5pm._

Booth glanced up at the clock.

4:30pm.

_I can't go. I can't leave Parker on his own and Rebecca won't exactly approve if I hand him back to her. Not that I don't want him to stay, but I want to see Bones. I want to work things out with her, I just don't know if it's a good idea. I mean what would be the point? It doesn't change the fact that I'm leaving, it doesn't change the fact that she hurt me…_

The loud knock at the door pulled Booth back to reality. Dropping the portrait back on to the table, he ran a weary hand across his face as he crossed to the door.

Swinging it open, he found Hodgins stood there, rocking back and forth on his heels with a cheeky grin on his face.

"Hey ho, soldier. What you still doing here?"

Booth rolled his eyes.

"So you're in on this too, huh?"

Hodgins' grin turned sheepish as he shrugged.

"Course I am. I'd do anything for Angela, just like you'd do anything for Doctor Brennan. And don't you dare deny it! So do you really want to leave without finding out if you could have _that_?"

He pointed past Booth at the portrait but he didn't turn around.

"Hodgins, I…"

The scientist held up a hand to silence the agent.

"Uh uh, no way dude. You ain't getting out of this one so easy. You can try and intimidate me all you want but to be honest, Angela scares me more. So what do ya say? You gonna help me have a quiet life or am I about to get my ass kicked by an _artist_?"

Hearing rustling behind him, Booth turned to see Parker staring up at him, rubbing his bleary eyes as he yawned.

"Daddy?"

He was clutching the portrait as he crossed to the entrance, wrapping an arm around Booth's knee as he leant against his father with another little yawn. Booth turned his gaze back to Hodgins.

"This is why I'm still here, or am I not meant to be spending time with my son?"

Hodgins shrugged.

"I can watch him, and once Angela drops off Doctor Brennan, she can come round here and give me a hand. Even if you don't trust me, you know _she's_ good with kids."

Booth's expression made it clear he was more than a little dubious at the idea as Parker pulled on the sleeve of his sweatshirt, trying to get his father's attention.

"Daddy? Who drew the picture?"

"Angela did, bub."

"Doctor Benan looks real pretty. I like her. She smells nice too and she has dinosaurs in her office."

Hodgins gave Booth a quizzical look as the agent smiled.

"Bones gave him a tour of the Jeffersonian and Parker just loved the dinosaur skeletons."

Parker grinned at Hodgins.

"Daddy always calls Doctor Benan _Bones_. It's funny."

He passed the picture up to his father.

"Look daddy, Angela gave me a real big smile, just like you and Doctor Benan."

Seeing the wistful look crossing Booth's face, Hodgins decided to grab the moment and crouched down in front of his son.

"Hey Parker, would you mind if I hung out with you for a bit while your daddy goes to see Doctor Brennan?"

Parker frowned, staring at Hodgins. Hands on hips, he leaned forward with a serious expression.

"Do we get to play aeroplanes?"

Hodgins laughed as he nodded.

"Sure, we can play aeroplanes all you like."

Parker jumped up and down with glee, grabbing Hodgins hand and pulling him inside. Booth followed, still not sure what to do.

The scientist picked up Parker in a piggy back and the pair turned back to look at Booth. The little boy grinned, his blue eyes sparkling.

"Thought you were going to see Doctor Benan, daddy?"

Seeing the look in Hodgins eye, Booth nodded and ran in to his bedroom to change.

* * *

**A/N: If I hadn't made such a pig's ear out of this chapter, it wouldn't have to end here. Ho hum... You'll be seeing the result of Angela's grand plan in the next installment, kiddos. Excuse me, I must go vomit profusely now...**


	17. Tell Her This

**A/N: Thanks to having spent pretty much all yesterday in bed feeling like death, I couldn't get a wink of sleep and seeing as all my tossing & turning was just annoying the hell out of my wonderfully patient other half, I decided to get up and finish this just for you guys. Thank you for all the get well soon messages, they were very sweet and put an enormous smile back on my face. Thanks as ever to the wonderful Ava, Little Miss Muse herself.**_

* * *

_

_"Tell her not to cry, I just got scared that's all.  
__Tell her I'll be by her side, all she has to do is call.  
__All she has to do is call.  
__Tell her something in my heart needs her more  
__Than clowns need the laughter of the crowd.  
__Tell her what was wrong.  
__Tell her I sometimes think too much, but say nothing at all.  
__Tell her nothing if not this, all I want to do is kiss her."_

_'Tell Her This', Del Amitri_

_oo00oo_

Booth sat in his SUV outside his building, staring up at the lit window to his apartment.

_I know that Parker's fine with Hodgins. I know that seeing Bones and getting this whole mess between us straightened out is the right thing to do. I know Angela will kick my ass if I don't go. So why am I still here?_

He glanced down at the clock on the dashboard.

4:42pm. He had to be at Wong Foos in 18 minutes.

_So why am I still sat here?_

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

_You know exactly why. You're chicken shit, plain and simple. You just can't stand another rejection. Not from her._

He looked down at the little toy pig on the passenger seat, feeling his heart pound just at the sight of it and what it meant to him.

_Would Angela have set all this up if she didn't really think it was going to work?_

He picked Jasper up, absently twirling the toy round his fingers.

_But Angela was wrong before, wasn't she? She told me to go and see Bones, that she felt the same way about me as I do about her, but when I went to kiss her all I got was an angry tirade. All I got was rejection._

He slammed the pig down on to the passenger seat and rested his forehead against the steering wheel.

_But this is _Bones_ you're talking about, Seeley. She probably just got scared, that's all. Same as you are right now. So suck it up, soldier. Go and see her, tell her exactly what you feel about her. Tell her that you love her. What's the worse that can happen?_

Booth screwed his eyes closed.

_That she tells me she loves me too and I still have to leave tomorrow. In a way, that would be worse than ever knowing for sure. I don't want to be just another person who deserted her, I don't want to be just another reason for her to cut herself off from the people she cares about._

He stared down at the clock. 17 minutes…

_Seeley Booth, your whole life you've fought for what you knew was right, both literally and figuratively. Don't you think it's right to see Temperance, don't you think it's right to let her know the truth?_

He shook his head, not quite believing that he was arguing with himself.

_You can't just leave her hanging. At least this way, you'll both know where you stand. And when you get back in a couple of months, you can start fresh. Maybe even with the woman you love. It's only a couple of months._

Seeley jammed his key in to the ignition and sped off in to the dusk, wishing the roar of the engine had drowned out his last thought, the one he never dared to voice.

_Or it could be an eternity. I'm going to war. I might never come back._

oo00oo

Brennan stared out of the passenger window of Angela's car without really seeing the city rushing by, absorbed in her own thoughts as she wrapped the black pashmina tighter around herself, more for comfort than warmth.

Sighing heavily, she self-consciously ran a hand through her perfectly styled hair, feeling a little uncomfortable in the dress that Angela had picked out for her. After all, they were only going to Booth's apartment.

She blinked, suddenly seeing where they were.

_Hang on…_

She turned to Angela with a frown.

"This isn't the way to Booth's. Where are we going?"

Angela's face dimpled with a sly smile as she winked at her friend.

"You'll see."

Brennan felt herself stiffen as the tangle of nerves in her stomach seemed to tighten.

_No, this isn't right. I was prepared to meet Booth on his territory, give him that psychological advantage so that he'd be more prepared to forgive me. That's what all those books recommend. At least, I think it is. Of course, if Angela's taking us both to neutral ground, then he might feel more comfortable._

She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes to herself.

_God, I hate psychology…_

Brennan cast a sideways glance at the artist.

"Ange, seriously. What's going on?"

She smiled broadly as she glanced at her friend.

"I told you, sweetie, friends fix things for you. I fixed the time and place…"

She pulled to a stop in the parking lot outside Wong Foos and turned to face the anthropologist, a gentle hand on her arm.

"…But now you have to fix the rest."

Brennan just stared at her, blinking rapidly. Slowly, she nodded and clambered out of the car.

Staring up at the neon sign, the nervousness she felt inside began to take control.

_What on earth are you doing here? Telling Booth that you love him… It's going to change everything, your whole relationship, not to mention your partnership at work. And he still has to leave tomorrow, even if it is only for a couple of months. Not to mention the fact that you don't know if he's going to forgive you for how you acted yesterday. Are you sure you want to do this?_

Brennan's nerves untangled a little as she realised that was a decision she had made months ago without even thinking about it.

_Of course I want to do this. I want him._

Swallowing hard, she let Angela guide her inside. Walking through the archway in to the main area of the restaurant, Brennan let out a gasp of surprise.

All the tables had been removed to leave just one in the middle of the floor, draped in crisp white linen with a vase on top containing three roses, one white, one yellow and one red.

_Loyalty, friendship and love. How apt…_

The whole room was lit by strategically placed candles, the booths draped with pink and red fairy lights that created a strangely comforting sense of warmth. The strains of violins drifted from somewhere unseen and Brennan focused on the music.

"What is that? Beethoven?"

"No. I'm surprised at you Doctor Brennan. I took you for something of a classical aficionado."

The deep voice made her jump and she spun to find Sid emerging from behind the bar, a wide grin plastered on his face.

"It's the 'Love Theme from Romeo and Juliet' by Nina Rota. Beautiful, isn't it?"

Brennan smiled back.

"Yes, it really is, just like what you've done with the place. It truly is breathtaking, Sid."

He moved over to kiss her on the cheek, a gesture that took her more than a little by surprise.

"Just as you are, Doctor Brennan. Truly breathtaking."

He moved away, winking at Angela leaning on the archway.

"It's good to see you two kids have finally come to your senses. I thought I was going to have to knock your damned heads together… Anyway, this is well worth closing up the place to the regular joes for."

He disappeared somewhere back behind the bar with a grin and Brennan just smiled, crossing to the table to admire the roses as Angela appearing by her side.

"I would say good luck, sweetie, but looking like you do, I highly doubt you'll need it."

The anthropologist did her best not to blush as Angela pulled her in to a tight hug, squeezing her carefully so as not to wrinkle the dress. When she eventually pulled away, her eyes were prickling with tears.

"I'm so happy for you, Bren. For both of you."

She scuttled away, wiping her eyes, as Brennan looked around. Wandering about the restaurant, she admired the numerous candles and fairy lights. Staring up at the twinkling lights above her, she felt a familiar sensation in the pit of her stomach.

_Booth's here…_

She turned just in time to see his back retreating through the archway.

_He's leaving?_

Hitching up her skirt with one hand, Brennan ran as fast as she could in her dangerously high heels, chasing him out to the parking lot where he was stood completely motionless beside his SUV, the keys dangling from the hand hanging limply by his side.

Coming to a halt a few feet behind him, she swallowed hard, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Seeley…?"

He started but didn't turn, didn't make any move to show he was willing to go back inside. The nerves returning, Brennan took a tentative step towards him, her voice sounding far more confident than she felt.

"Booth, I… I didn't arrange any of this, it was all Angela's doing. She said that I needed to fix things between us and she's right. Of course, now I'm not so sure that this was the correct way to do it."

Still he said nothing. She took another step closer.

"The things I said yesterday… None of it was true, Booth. I hope you realise that. I'd hate for you to leave thinking that I hated you when in actual fact, it's quite the opposite."

She watched the back of his head as he nodded slowly, willing him to turn around.

"I know you probably think that all of this is incredibly unlike me and, well, you'd be right. After all, you're the stodgy traditionalist when it comes to love and relationships and I'm well aware that I can come off cold and detached sometimes, but doesn't that just show the effort I'm making here? For you, Seeley. I'm making the effort for you. I mean, just look at this dress for Heaven's sake…"

Still he didn't move. She took one more step, swearing it would be her last, her voice betraying both her exasperation and her fear.

"Seeley, please, just look at me."

He raised his head and she heard him sigh heavily. Slowly, he turned around and the look in his eye caught her breath. Swallowing hard, he began to speak and she had to strain to hear him.

"Temperance… All of this, it's just beautiful. _You're_ beautiful. And I know that what you said yesterday was just because you were scared and of course I forgive you. But I need you to see, I need you to understand that you're not the only one who's scared about all this. There's just… there's so much to lose. I've been in love before, with Rebecca, and when that ended… I couldn't bear to have that happen to us, to lose what we already have."

He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes locking on to anything but her.

"What all this means… Everything's about to change and now we're here, now we're finally doing everything I've wanted us to do for so long, I'm just not sure if I can do it."

Brennan's heart fell straight in to the pit of her stomach and she couldn't help but lay a hand over her abdominals, trying to will the nausea away.

_He doesn't want me… All of this was for nothing._

Booth's eyes finally locked on to hers and seeing the disappointment there, he took a brisk step forward, closing the gap between them as he shook his head.

"What I mean is I'm not sure that I can stay here with you tonight, have our fancy romantic meal and then still have to leave tomorrow. It was hard enough knowing I'd have to say goodbye to you as a friend but now… I can't stay with you and I'm just… I don't want you to think that I'm leaving you because I'm not. I could never leave you."

She forced a smile on to her lips, caught in the depths of his brown eyes.

"I know, Seeley. I know. Just like I know that I can cope with a couple of months without you as long as you tell me that you're coming back to me. You've never once broken a promise to me, Booth, not once. So promise me you're coming home."

He stared at her, his eyes sad.

"Temperance…"

She crossed the final gap between them, shaking her head as she gripped his arm, well aware of the tears brewing in her eyes.

"Seeley Booth, I love you and that _terrifies_ me. I've never loved anyone before, not like this. I didn't even believe in it, not until I met you. So tell me you're coming home and, as irrational as it is, I know I'll be ok, that _we'll_ be ok."

He cupped her face with his hand, brushing away a single tear with his thumb.

"Then I promise. I promise I'm coming home to the woman I love."

He grinned at her as he added the sentence he knew might result in violence.

"I'm coming home to Cameron Diaz…"

Brennan's eyes widened.

_Who the hell is Cameron Diaz? If I ever meet that woman…_

Booth had to suppress a laugh.

"Bones, she's a Hollywood actress. You know I love _you_. And I'm coming home to _you_. Only you."

She offered up a sheepish smile as she leaned in closer.

"So did I fix it?"

He leaned in too, his hand resting on her hip, and she felt the warmth of his breath on her cheek, smelt the intoxicating scent of his aftershave, heard the rapid beat of his heart thumping in time with hers.

"Yeah Bones, you fixed it."

Together, they bridged the final gap. Their lips brushed together lightly, sending bolts of electricity up and down Brennan's spine as she let her hand snake up his back, her fingers tangling in his hair. One arm around her waist, he pulled her closer to him, his other hand travelling from her face and up through her hair as their kiss became deeper, hungrier, more urgent, their months of waiting finally over.

Brennan felt the rest of the world melt away as she explored the taste of him, clutching to him as if her life depended on it, letting herself get swept away in the gentle urgency of his touch. Right then and there, nothing else mattered. There was no-one else in the universe but them, nothing but this kiss, nothing but the joy and nervous excitement coursing through her veins.

The rational side of her brain told her that it was simply the release of endorphins, a chemical reaction creating serotonin that was making her feel like she was hovering ten feet above the ground while wrapped safe in his muscular arms.

For the first time in as long as she could remember, Doctor Temperance Brennan ignored her rational brain and surrendered to her heart. She surrendered to him.

_Seeley Booth. The man I love. The man I've always loved. The man who loves me._

* * *

**A/N: Check out the slushiness! If that's even a word... Anyone that knows me or has read any of my other Bones fics knows that I don't actually like putting BB together and have never done it before. I wasn't even sure I was going to do it in this but my anniversary is coming up in a couple of days (four years and counting, and no, we're not married) so the slush probably ain't gonna end anytime soon! The next chapter should be up this evening, seeing as I think I've now managed to curb the vomit reflex...**


	18. Brand New Home

**A/N: I'm really sorry that it's taken me so long to write this chapter as compared to normal but, to cut a long story short, it turns out that my chest infection is actually pneumonia (joy...) and I've now been prescribed antibiotics and bed rest. And all just in time for my anniversary... Anyway, just warning you that updates might be pretty sporadic over the next week or so. Thank you to everyone for the get well soon messages. You're all so sweet and I love each and every one of you for reading my ramblings. And for everyone who liked the fluff, here's some more!**  
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_"Then I realised what it took  
__To tell the difference between thieves and crooks,  
__A lesson learned by me and you.  
__'Cos now I'm thinking about a brand new home, the one I've never known,  
__'Cos now I know that's all I've ever wanted."_

_'Macy's Day Parade', Green Day_

_oo00oo_

Their meal over, Booth stared across the table at the woman he loved and who he now knew loved him. His heart soaring, he couldn't keep the grin off his face as his eyes drank in every detail of that moment.

She was standing in front of him, the long red dress clinging to every luxurious curve of her lithe body, its colour highlighting the tint of her hair which glimmered in the dim light.

_She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen…_

A slow smile spreading across slightly parted lips, she offered her hand to him. He took it gratefully, standing up and moving her a short distance away from the table to begin their dance. Booth pulled her in close as he slipped an arm around her waist, their bodies pressed tight against one another as they swayed to the distant music.

He traced the line of her jaw with his finger, her skin warm and silky smooth to his touch. She smiled up at him, her eyes boring deep into his own, seeing more than any woman ever had, seeing all the things he had never dared to share with anyone but her.

_My Temperance. Always my Temperance._

Her hand snaked up his back, sending tingles down his spine as her fingers rested on the back of his neck, tickling him slightly. His own hand moved away from her jaw, his fingers tangled in tendrils of auburn hair as he pulled her towards him, her scent intoxicating.

Their lips brushed together, gently, tentatively finding their way. She looked up at him from beneath those thick eyelashes, her breath hot against his cheek as she whispered his name.

"Seeley…"

He smiled at the sound of it on her tongue, the anticipation building in his chest as their noses rubbed together, his lips getting ever closer to hers.

He found his target, their kiss hungry and passionate as he revelled in the taste of her, all strawberries and whipped cream.

_Just like I always thought she would taste…_

Slowly, they broke their kiss, staring at each other for a moment. She rested her head on his shoulder, listening to the thump of his heart, and they lost themselves in the music together.

But then Booth began to remember why they were here, what it was that had forced them to finally confront their feelings, their fears and doubts.

_I have to leave tomorrow. I have to spend the next few months without her._

He pulled her tighter to him, clutching to her as if he was never going to let her go.

_And I don't want to. I've only just got her, I've finally broken down all those barriers to really reach her, and now I have to go. Perfect timing as ever, Seeley…_

Resting his chin on the top of her head, he couldn't help but sigh. She shifted in his arms, angling her face up to him.

"Are you ok?"

He smiled down at her, laying a lingering kiss on her forehead.

"I've never been happier."

She was still staring at him, waiting for the truth. Eventually he sighed again and shook his head.

"It's just… Tomorrow I have to leave. And all I want is to stay here with you."

Brennan seemed to consider this for a moment and then shrugged, returning her head to its rightful place in the crook of his neck.

"Let's just leave tomorrow till tomorrow."

He frowned in to her hair.

"That doesn't seem very rational or logical."

She tightened her grip around him, squeezing him for a second.

"And what exactly about tonight has been either rational or logical?"

He smiled as he laid a kiss on the crown of her head.

"In my humble opinion, Bones, every last second of it."

They continued dancing, their bodies tangled together as they bathed in candlelight. Slowly, the music faded away to silence but the pair couldn't bear to tear themselves apart just yet. They continued swaying, listening to the music playing in their heads, using the rhythm of their hearts to guide them.

After a few minutes, Booth cleared his throat.

"Doesn't seem like Sid wants to put another CD on."

Brennan glanced up at him with a slight frown, her fingers delicately dancing across the back of his neck and sending bolts of electricity through every inch of his body.

"Is he trying to tell us to leave?"

He smiled as he brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

_Bless her, she's still not sure of those subtle signals people send out, always doubting if she's right. But that's what I'm here for, the 'humanising' influence as she once called it…_

"And if he was, where would we go?"

She stared off over his shoulder, obviously considering the question thoroughly. Booth's smile just widened.

_Always weighing up her options, taking the most logical approach…_

Her eyes eventually snapped back on to his and a slow smile spread across her face.

"Well, I guess that's really up to you. You're the one with the car. Angela drove me here."

He nodded slowly.

"But Bones, I guess what I'm asking is… If you want, then we could… Not that I'm… I mean, erm, it's just that…"

He stopped himself, trying to regroup.

_Why the hell am I so nervous? I've never been one to get tongue-tied around women. My charm's got me out of all kinds of situations so why is it so hard to invite her back for a cup of coffee?_

He blinked rapidly as she just stared at him.

_I'm tongue-tied because it's Bones, always Bones. I'm nervous because this time, what happens next actually matters to me. Because it's her…_

"I just thought that maybe if you didn't want the evening to end too soon, we could go back to mine and have a nightcap or something. You know, only if you want to?"

She didn't even hesitate, a distinct look in her eye that he'd only ever witnessed briefly before tonight.

"That would be nice, Seeley."

Grinning, he gently placed a finger under her chin, raising her mouth to meet his own. Softly, he just brushed his lips over hers before laying tiny kisses across the length of her mouth and slowly down her neck.

Her breath catching in her throat, he felt her nails scrape across his back, and he used his tongue to trail up to her earlobe in response. Holding her tight, he whispered softly in her ear.

"You've made me the happiest man in the world tonight, Temperance."

He felt her fingers move up his neck, turning his head to face her full on. She was smiling, her eyes burning with barely contained passion.

"And you've made me the happiest woman, Seeley. You _always_ have. When you're not driving me crazy, that is…"

Pulling her closer by the waist so her hips were tight against his, he rubbed his nose against hers before letting his desire take control and greeting her lips with his own.

He was amazed at how every time he kissed her, it seemed so raw and passionate - lustful even - yet it still contained a deep sensitivity that made his heart ache. She had always been a part of him, almost from the first moment they met, immediately gaining his respect. Now, she'd managed to capture his heart too and he felt like every fibre of his being was hers and vice versa.

He felt like he was home.

Breathlessly, they broke apart as Brennan looked up at him from under thick lashes.

"So… Still fancy that nightcap?"

His heart pounding, Booth just nodded. Clutching his hand, she guided him back to the table, retrieving her pashmina and bag. Standing behind her, Booth took the silk garment out of her hands and gently draped it across her smooth shoulders, nuzzling her neck as he did so. With a breathy giggle, she reached one arm up to run her fingers through his hair while using her free hand to whip his jacket off the back of the chair.

Breaking free, Booth slipped on his coat and offered his arm for her to take.

_I know she's fiercely independent and hates all that chivalrous stuff, but right now, it just seems like the gentlemanly thing to do…_

She linked her arm through his immediately, seemingly without a second thought. Grinning, Booth gently kissed the crown of her head and turned to face the bar.

"Sid?"

His friend appeared with a broad grin, sipping a glass of scotch as he leaned on the bar.

"Enjoyed your meal then?"

Booth grinned right back.

"It was great, thank you."

Brennan smiled at him as she gently squeezed Booth's arm.

"Yes, the whole evening was absolutely beautiful, Sid. Thank you so much."

He shook his head slowly.

"You two lovebirds should be thanking Angela. It was her that arranged all this, not me. You've got a great friend there. Now, go enjoy the rest of your evening. Don't do anything I wouldn't do…"

Booth rolled his eyes.

"Well, that doesn't exactly limit it much, Sid…"

The owner just shrugged with a sheepish grin and disappeared behind the bar, chuckling to himself.

Wandering out in to the parking lot, Booth went to open the door to the SUV to let Brennan in, but she cast him a withering gaze and he returned to the driver's side.

_Guess the chivalry part's done with then… That woman sure knows how to keep me on my toes._

Slipping behind the wheel, he turned to face her as she reached for the seatbelt.

"Temperance, I should tell you that Parker's staying with me tonight."

She paused briefly, realisation of what he was implying slowly dawning in her eyes. She smiled up at him and he knew it was genuine.

"Of course. I would never ask you to spend time away from your son, Seeley. He's the most important person in your life. But if it's ok with you, I would still like to come back for a coffee or something."

He smiled as he turned the key in the ignition.

_Oh God, how I wish it was the 'or something' part…_

"Of course it's ok. You know how much Parker loves you. Smart kid, huh?"

She just smiled as he pulled away from Wong Foos, casually laying a hand on his thigh as he drove. Surprised, he almost swerved into the oncoming lane of traffic, relishing the heat of her hand through his trouser leg.

The rest of the drive passed in a daze, their conversation light as they both considered the evening so far. Personally, Booth was on cloud nine and quickly higher.

Reaching his apartment, he pulled over and turned off the engine.

"Before we go inside, there's something I have to do first."

She gave him a quizzical look.

"What?"

He reached across her to open the glove compartment, pulling Jasper from inside and handing it back to his partner.

"Angela left it with me. I thought you might want your pet back."

Brennan grinned as she took back the toy pig, leaning over to wrap a strong arm around his neck.

"Jasper… He reminds me of you."

Booth arched an eyebrow, a cheeky glint in his eye.

"What, you calling me a pig now? This is your boyfriend you're talking about!"

She blinked rapidly and Booth realised what he'd said, suddenly panicking if it was too early to assign them _that_ label. The enormous grin that sprouted on her face quickly put paid to his fear as she pulled him into a long deep kiss that left his lips tingling long after they had separated.

"We should get inside."

His hand on the small of her back, Booth led her into the building. Entering the lift, he let his arm snake down to rest on her hip, his thumb tracing small circles across the thin material of her dress. He felt her tense under his touch and immediately knew it wasn't from rejection.

_She wants the 'or something'… And she's not the only one._

Walking into the apartment, Parker immediately jumped off the couch and raced over to his father, wrapping his arms around his legs and nearly knocking Booth off balance.

"Hey, bub? Did you have a good time with Hodgins and Angela?"

The two scientists rose from the sofa with large smiles as Parker charged back over to them.

"Angela drew me a picture, look!"

He held up the drawing, a beautiful likeness of Hodgins laughing with Parker. Brennan smiled as she gazed at the little boy, once again seeing the distinct resemblance between the father and son.

Angela failed to keep a sly grin off her face and Booth suddenly realised his hand was still on Brennan's hip, the place where Hodgins was very pointedly looking at as he grinned. He slid his hand back round and dropped it to his side, finding Brennan looking up at him, confused. Offering her a tiny shrug, she reached for his hand and let their fingers intertwine. Angela looked like she wanted to burst in to song. Instead, she just grinned and cleared her throat.

"Rebecca called while you were out. Something about arrangements for tomorrow. I said you'd call her back."

He nodded and headed to the phone, his heart heavy with the remembrance that this was the last day he had with the woman he loved and the son he adored. The squints on the other hand…

_Hell, who are you kidding? Angela's amazing and Hodgins… Well, men in black theories aside, he's a good guy. Zach can still be annoying as hell sometimes but at least the urge to shoot him has almost gone. Almost…_

Picking up the phone, he perched on the table as he dialled his ex's cell number, staring down at the original portrait Angela had drawn still lying where he left it. He read the message again.

_Not every dream is unattainable, not every dream is lost. Don't lose yours._

The tone ringing in his ear, he raised his eyes to the gang in front of him with a smile. Hodgins was ruffling Parker's hair as he bounced on the sofa while Angela tried to extract as much gossip as possible from Brennan.

The line connected.

"Hello?"

"Rebecca, it's Seeley. You rang?"

He could hear the smile in her tone when she replied.

"I did indeed. Angela said you were out to dinner with Doctor Brennan. You two finally admitted how you feel then?"

Booth couldn't keep the grin off his face as he watched his partner talking animatedly about the evening, her dress swaying about her and highlighting every alluring curve on her body.

"Yeah, yeah we did."

Rebecca almost giggled at the other end.

"God, you sound all dreamy! And there I was thinking you didn't have the balls…"

He rolled his eyes.

"Thanks, Rebecca, thank you so much."

She sighed.

"I have a suggestion for you. I know you want to see Parker but you've had him all day and you've barely seen Doctor Brennan…"

Booth narrowed his eyes as he listened.

"Yeah, so…?"

"So how about I pick Parker up in about an hour so you can spend some time with the good doctor? You can always drop by before you leave tomorrow to say bye to him properly."

"Are you sure?"

She sighed at the other end of the line.

"Of course I am. You're a wonderful father and Parker knows how much you love him. Now you need to show the woman of your dreams just how much you love _her_. As I recall, your best way of doing that should definitely _not _involve our son being anywhere nearby…"

Booth looked from his son to his girlfriend and then back to his son, deliberating his choices.

"Ok, see you in a hour."

"That's my boy, Seeley."

Hanging up, Booth returned to the group to say goodbye to Angela and Hodgins. Although obviously desperate for gossip, the pair knew better than to continue disturbing the happy couple and made a quick retreat, their arms linked as they giggled their way down the corridor.

Settling on the sofa, Booth sat Parker in between himself and Brennan. The adults listened intently as he recited every last exciting detail of his time with the two scientists, giggling at the dramatic telling of his exploits.

Time and time again, Booth found his eyes wandering back to the portrait on the kitchen table, admiring the happiness so evident in the static trio. Returning his gaze to the living room, he smiled. He had that happiness right now.

_Not every dream is unattainable, not every dream is lost. I didn't lose mine. I didn't lose her._

_I'm home._

oo00oo

Their time together passed far too quickly for Booth's liking and once Rebecca picked up their son with a knowing grin and they were finally alone again, an almost awkward silence descended.

Not quite sure what to do now the rules of their relationship had altered forever, Booth padded in to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine. Retrieving two glasses from the cupboard, he marched back in to the living room to find Brennan fidgeting in her dress.

Placing the glasses down on the coffee table with an amused smile, he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Everything all right there?"

Brennan smiled slowly.

"I don't think this dress was designed with comfort in mind. Just like these shoes… Of course, pain for the sake of beauty is a long running tradition for both men and women. Anthropologically speaking, it can be traced back to…"

Booth cut her off with a wave of his hand as he handed her a glass of wine.

"If you want to change in to something more comfortable, you know where the bedroom is. Help yourself to whatever you want."

Taking the glass with her, she kissed him on the cheek and disappeared down the corridor.

Leaning back on the sofa, Booth stared up at the ceiling with a blissful smile.

_I'm with Temperance and Temperance is with me. Life just doesn't get better than this… It's perfect._

The sound of his partner clearing her throat dragged his gaze back to the doorway leading to the corridor.

_Ok, I was wrong… _**Now**_ everything's perfect…_

Brennan was stood in the middle of the entrance, wearing nothing but one of his dress shirts, her hair glimmering in the faint light of the lamps as she laid one arm against the door frame and her used her other hand to beckon him towards her, her eyes glinting dangerously.

Before he even realised he was moving, Booth found himself stood right in front of her, his heart pounding so hard he was scared it was about to burst through his chest. She took a few steps back, still beckoning, her endless athletic legs guiding him down the corridor. He followed, a broad grin spreading across his face as he drew nearer. As soon as he was close, she moved back again, taunting him and daring him to follow. When they reached the door to his bedroom, she let him catch her, letting herself get wrapped up in his muscular arms.

His lips just inches from hers, Booth stopped, pulling his face back a little as a frown creased his features.

"Are you sure?"

She draped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, her eyes hooded with desire.

"I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

She kissed him gently, her smile more open than he had ever seen before.

"I've waited long enough, Seeley. I can't wait a minute more."

He took her face in both hands, kissing her hard and deep as her fingers tore at the buttons of his shirt, both of them backing up toward the bed. Collapsing in a tangled heap, Booth let her roll on top of him, holding down his arms with one hand while she used the other to quickly remove his belt. Sitting astride his legs, she slowly pulled down his trousers before leaning forward to leave a trail of kisses from his navel to his neck.

Breaking his arms free, Booth slid a hand under the shirt, working its way up her back and relishing the feel of her smooth skin under his fingers. Wrapping his other arm round her shoulders, he spun her over as he climbed on top of her, both of them breathing hard and fast, anticipating what was about to happen, what they had yearned for.

Staring up at him, her hair fanning out around her like a halo, Booth felt his heart skip a beat.

_This isn't just sex, this isn't just recreational…_

He could see the emotion in his eyes reflected in her own, her lips parting in to a sensual smile as she ran a finger down his chest.

_This is more than I have ever felt…_

Her shirt removed, Booth lowered himself on to her, unable to resist for another second as she pulled his hips toward her, begging him to make her whole.

The act itself was fast and frantic, nails clawing, teeth biting, hands griping, but he managed to hold off until he felt her tighten around him, an ecstatic groan escaping her lips as he felt himself surrender to her.

His arms shaking slightly as he hovered above her, she smiled up at him, a smile that made his whole body tingle.

"That was…"

He grinned, nodding as she gently wiped the perspiration off his brow.

"Absolutely amazing."

She pulled him down to lie on top of her, resting his head against her breast as she gently ran her fingers through his hair, sighing contently.

"Actually, I was going to say that was the first time in my life I ever 'made love' as opposed to just having sex. But you're right, it was absolutely amazing."

He shifted in her arms to get a better look at her. Those familiar features he longed to see every morning seemed softer now, her cheeks tinged red, her eyes hooded.

"Temperance Brennan, I love you. I've always loved you and I always will. This was never going to be _just_ sex."

She smiled, laying a lingering kiss on his forehead.

"I know, and I love you more than I ever loved anyone or anything."

She wrapped her hand around his own, their fingers weaving together as he wiped a single tear from the corner of her eye. Her eyes bright with happiness, she leaned in closer for another kiss.

"Seeley Booth, I'm home. I'm finally home."

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**A/N: For anyone who found the sex part to be somewhat brief, I should point out that my lovely other half has demanded that I never write anything too... graphic. As he put it, writers write what they know and he doesn't want the whole world to know about our personal lives. Plus, he knows my login details so he'd just delete any offensive bits anyway... Let me know what you think of it. Sorry it was a bit long but I'm too tired to actually do any proper editing...**


	19. Don't Matter To The Sun

**A/N: Hello again, yes I'm back! Literally only to just drop this off for you but at least it's something! Thank you so much to everyone for the get well soon messages and everything. You guys are great! Anyway, here's some more slush cos Booth's leaving (boo hoo) and just for all you fact fans, the song I quoted is actually played in Bones 2 episode 4 The Blonde In The Game when Booth gives Brennan Jasper the Pig. Bless... See you all soon I hope!**  
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_"It don't matter to the sun if you go or if you stay.  
No, the sun is gonna rise, shine down on another day.  
There will be a tomorrow, even if you choose to leave.  
No, it don't matter to the sun. But it matters to me…  
Guess who's in makes no difference, it'll keep on keeping time,  
It ain't gonna stop the world, but it would be the end of mine."_

_'It Don't Matter To The Sun', Rosie Thomas_

_oo00oo_

Temperance Brennan woke slowly, her eyes opening above the broad smile still plastered across her features. She felt warm and safe, a security she now realised she had been looking for ever since her parents disappeared so many years before.

_Hang on… This isn't my room…_

Confused, Brennan's eyes darted wildly about the place.

_Wait, I'm at Booth's. In Booth's bed…_

She turned her head slightly, realising her feeling of warmth and security was due to the body pressed against her, his arm wrapped loosely around her shoulders.

_I'm in Booth's bed. Beside Booth. Who's naked, as am I…_

The memory of the night before began to crystallise in her mind as sleep drifted away, revealing a passion that sent a blush to heat her cheeks. The memory of his touch, the whisper of his voice, the scent of his aftershave, the heat of his gaze, all sent a shiver coursing down her spine.

Shifting in his arms, Brennan laid her head against her partner's chest, snuggling closer as she looked down at the sheets wrapped around their tangled legs. She felt her smile grow even wider as her eyes fluttered up to examine his face.

"Seeley…"

Her only answer was the sound of his heavy breathing and a slight flicker of his eyelids. She smiled at the softness of his features in the muted morning light filtering through the curtains.

Draping an arm across his chest, Brennan closed her eyes and prayed to whatever God Booth believed in that she would never forget how she felt in that moment.

_Don't ever forget what it feels like to wake up in the arms of your perfect man, what it feels like to love. And to be loved…_

_oo00oo_

Seeley Booth's eyes fluttered open, blinking at the shaft of light lying directly across his face. Attempting to shuffle out of the dawn's way, he felt a strange weight pressing on his chest. Confused and sleepy, he turned his head to find Temperance Brennan lying across him, her skin glowing in the dim light as she dozed.

Seeing her there, her auburn hair splayed out across his skin to create a red-tinted halo about her peaceful face, Booth couldn't keep the grin from bursting through the remnants of his sleep.

He shifted slightly to get a better look at her, using the back of his fingers to gently stroke her cheek, loving the sensation of her skin beneath his touch. Right then, he sent up a silent prayer.

_Dear God, don't ever let me forget this moment, don't ever let me forget just how good it feels to wake up in the arms of the woman I love and who loves me._

He tore his eyes from her face, glancing up at the clock beside the bed and felt his stomach tighten.

_I have to leave her soon, I have to go. As quickly as I've found her, I have to lose her again, and I don't even know for how long._

He shuffled closer to her, unconsciously wanting to feel the warmth of her body against his own, wrapping his arms tightly around her as he pretended he had all the time in the world. His eyes screwed shut, he pretended that he was just a normal guy waking up in the arms of the woman he loves, pretended that he could spend the rest of his life living morning after morning like this one, pretended that he was never going to leave.

And then, lying there with his Temperance in his arms, Booth felt a tinge of fear invade his chest not for himself, but for her.

_Everyone's left her, deserted her. I don't want to be that man. I _can't_ be that man. I love her too much. Please Temperance, don't shut down when I go. I'm coming back to you. Don't build those walls up again, don't lose hope and put your heart back in a box._

He sighed heavily.

_Please, don't go back there again. Even if I die, don't let yourself go back to how things were. You're loved, and not just by me, and you love too. I don't want to lose you. Not now. Not ever._

His eyes still screwed tightly shut, Booth clutched her closer to him and, in the silence between her steady breaths, he thought he heard his heart break a little.

_oo00oo_

Brennan slowly began to stir again, her eyes flickering open as she smiled. Loving where she was and the man she was with, she began to trace small circles across his chest, following the lines of his impressive pectoral muscles as she listened to the beat of his heart and watched the rise and fall of his chest.

She had finally found the man capable of scaling her supposedly impenetrable walls, the man who respected her, honoured her, challenged her, infuriated her beyond belief at times, could make her laugh with just one look, could explain a thousand emotions in just one touch. She had finally found the man who did not need to dominate or be dominated, simply wanting to be her equal, who stood by her side come hell or high water.

_I've finally found the man I've always wanted… I've finally found my Booth._

She felt him shift beneath her, felt him begin to stir, and her heart seemed to swell so much she feared it might burst.

_And he actually loves me, he actually wants me. He loves me as much as I love him. Things are just…perfect._

Her eyes locked with his, a smile spreading quickly across his thin lips as he blinked rapidly.

"Hey."

She grinned back at him, running a self conscious hand through her dishevelled hair.

"Hey."

He reached up, staying her hand and letting his fingers trace the line of her jaw before bringing her face closer to his, laying a gentle kiss on her lips. She smiled against him, a giggle burbling up her throat. Booth pulled back a little, his eyes narrowing to look at her closely, his voice suspicious.

"What…?"

Her grin became slightly sheepish as she winked at him.

"I think we should brush our teeth before we… before we start anything like a repeat performance of last night."

Booth's hand immediately flew up to cover his mouth, his cheeks turning a mild shade of crimson.

"Ah yes, the perils of morning breath… Problem is, I don't think I can make it to the bathroom to do anything about it. You see, all I want to do is stay here with you…"

Her smile widened as she laid kisses across his chest, her eyes never leaving his. Trembling slightly, he cupped her face with his hand.

"Temperance Brennan, what did I ever do to deserve a woman like you?"

She smiled, wriggling up his body to kiss him full on the lips, damn the morning breath.

"I honestly don't know, but whatever it was, it can't have been good."

He grinned, pulling her deeper into the kiss, his hands exploring the feel of skin still new to him despite his thorough explorations only hours before. She returned the embrace with an urgency that surprised him, her fingers clawing at him as he rolled over on top of her.

The shrill ring of his cell phone on the nightstand stopped them both in their tracks as they both stared at the source of the sound, silently cursing the interruption. Offering up a sheepish grin, Booth rolled back over to his side of the bed and answered the phone.

"Booth."

"Hey, it's Rebecca. I'm just wondering what time you wanted to come round and say goodbye to Parker before you, you know, leave…"

Watching his partner stretching out her limbs in languid motions, Booth felt as if he'd just been punched in the stomach, all air being sucked out of him as his eyes settled on the ready packed duffle by his wardrobe.

_It's all real. I have to go. I have to leave her, and Parker._

"Erm, I'm not sure. I've literally just woken up. Can I give you a ring back in about ten minutes?"

He could practically hear the grin spreading across Rebecca's face and he knew she knew who he was with.

"No problem. Speak to you soon."

He hung up and turned to his partner who was examining his face with those sharp blue eyes. He sighed heavily.

"I need to go round to Rebecca's and say goodbye to Parker."

She nodded slowly, pulling the sheets up to her chest in an unconscious effort to protect herself from the hurt she knew was coming.

"Of course. Could you drop me off at mine though? I don't really fancy taking a cab at this time of a morning in _that_ dress."

He smiled, curling her hair round his fingers.

"Sure. But how about I drop you off so you can shower and all that, then when I've picked up Parker, I take you both out to breakfast?"

Brennan raised an eyebrow at him quizzically.

"Are you sure you want to do that? I mean, Parker's your son. Don't you just want to say goodbye to him on your own?"

Booth leant in close, his eyes locked with hers.

"Bones, I want to say goodbye to the two most important people in my life, the people that I love. That means Parker _and_ you, ok?"

She smiled as she offered up a lingering kiss in thanks.

"I love you too, Seeley. Now go get showered so I can go home and change."

He grinned as he moved away, his hand gripping hers as he pulled her with him towards the shower. With a sly smile, she followed, not wanting to spend a second without him beside her.

_oo00oo_

Breakfast passed way too quickly for both their liking. Brennan had to avoid choking on her cereal from laughter multiple times as Parker bounced around the diner, demonstrating numerous zoo animals with the help of maple syrup coffered waffles. Booth just watched them both, his smile wide but not quite reaching his eyes, his thoughts constantly dragging back to the carefully packed duffle in the trunk of his SUV.

All too soon, Booth practically dragged Parker away from his stool to drop him off at school. Brennan joined the father son team at the school gates to wave the little boy off, surprised when he wrapped his tiny arms around her neck and pulled her in to a tight embrace.

"Bye bye Doctor Benan. See ya soon!"

He practically sprinted in to school and Temperance straightened up, a smile pulling at her lips as she turned to her partner. He was watching her with a look in his eye she had never seen before, a look of longing and love, of being family. Her smile widened as she laced her fingers with his, resting her head on his shoulder as they wandered back towards the car.

Twenty minutes later, Booth shut off the engine to the SUV in the Jeffersonian parking lot. Both partners stared straight ahead, looking up through the windscreen at the imposing building, too scared to turn to one another and start their final goodbyes.

Eventually, Booth sighed heavily and turned to her, laying his hands over her own which were clasped tightly in her lap. When she finally raised her eyes to his, he saw they were swimming with tears and her smile was weak.

"Do you want to come inside and say goodbye to everyone?"

He glanced at the clock set in the dashboard and felt himself grimace slightly.

"I'm going to be late as it is. Could you just tell them all that I'll see them soon?"

She nodded, turning away from him slightly. He gently cupped her face, forcing her to look at him.

"Temperance, it's not for long, I promise. I'm coming back to you."

She smiled slightly though it didn't reach her eyes.

"I know that, I just… I don't want you to go."

He lightly kissed her on the forehead.

"And I don't want to either, but you know I have to."

She nodded again, attempting to blink back the tears as she swallowed hard.

"But you'll call me as soon as you can?"

He grinned at her and nodded, knowing her fierce independence made it hard to show her vulnerable side and the fact she needed him. He pulled her in to a kiss, relishing the taste of her.

_I'll never look at strawberries the same way again…_

Slowly, they broke apart, their eyes still locked together as he felt her press something cool in to his palm. Looking down, he found a tiny silver dolphin in his hand. His eyes flicked back to hers, a look of surprise on his face as she just smiled at him sadly.

"Bones, I can't take this. Your father left this for your mother, it's yours."

She shook her head, closing his fingers tight around the metal.

"And now it's yours. This way, you have to come back if only to give this to me."

He smiled, his lips brushing against hers.

"That won't be the only reason I'm coming back to you."

She smiled against him.

"I know. I'm just making sure of it."

"Temperance, I love you."

The kiss he received was deep and frantic, a sense of urgency in it which they both felt and hated. Neither wanted the other to go, neither wanted to spend the next few months alone, neither thought they could make it without the other. But eventually they broke apart, knowing that they had no choice.

"I love you too, Seeley. Take care of yourself out there."

He just nodded sadly.

"Yeah… God, I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too. And this time, I'll miss you more than Zach does."

She kissed his cheek and slipped out of the SUV with a wry smile that quickly faded as she marched across the parking lot, not daring to look back in case she lost the last of her resolve. She just let her feet carry her along the familiar path to her office, not seeing a single one of her co-workers along the way, not registering the looks of concern on their faces at the sight of her.

Reaching her office, Brennan stopped in the middle of the room. It suddenly felt far too empty now she knew Booth wouldn't just be dropping by, wouldn't tease her or lure her out with a new case. Without him there, everything seemed colder.

The hand on her arm made her jump as someone spun her round. She barely had time to register it was Booth before his lips were pressed against hers, his hands pulling her tight against him. Hungry for every last drop of him, Brennan wrapped her arms tight around his neck, clutching to him as if her very life depended on it.

For once in her life, she didn't care who could see her, she didn't care what people thought. All that mattered was that Booth was still there, for a precious few minutes, he was still there.

Slowly, he pulled away from her with a sheepish grin.

"Sorry, I just couldn't resist."

Somewhere out in the lab came the distinct sound of wolf whistling and low chuckles.

Brennan rolled her eyes.

"I take it Hodgins is here."

Booth kissed her hand before clutching it in his own and squeezing it reassuringly.

"Just ignore them, Bones."

He kissed her on the forehead.

"I'll call you as soon as I can."

She nodded, the tears prickling her eyes again.

"I'll miss you."

He smiled, gently caressing her cheek.

"And I already miss you. I love you, Temperance."

And with that he was gone, her office empty. Brennan felt her stomach clench tight with fear as everything seemed to get cold. Wobbling slightly on her feet, she collapsed on to the sofa, unable to stop the tears that poured from her face.

She barely noticed Angela enter, closing the door quietly behind her before taking her place beside her friend, gently pulling her into a tight embrace as they rocked together with the force of Brennan's sobs.

Screwing her eyes shut, the anthropologist knew it was ridiculous. She knew that Booth leaving was not the end of the world and that she was strong enough to cope during the time that he was away. She knew that all the emotions she was feeling were utterly pointless and that they wouldn't bring him back to her any quicker. But then, cradled in the arms of her best friend, Brennan didn't care.

_So what if emotions don't matter a great deal to anthropology? They matter to me. He matters to me._

The sobs that wracked her chest increased as Brennan let herself cry so much that she thought she might drown in the flood of her own tears. And then she cried some more.

* * *

**A/N: Oh, the melodrama! Should hopefully have the next chapter up by tomorrow. Don't worry, there's only a couple left and then it's all over and I can go back to planning the sequel for The Man In The Lecture Hall. Adios amigos!**


	20. Both Sides Now

**A/N: Well, I'm feeling a little bit better now and I'm sticking by my story that it's all your messages of support as opposed to the antibiotics that have done it, hee hee. So here's chapter 20 and don't worry folks, there's not much more to go now, I promise! Let me know what ya think**  
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_"But now old friends are acting strange,  
__They shake their heads, they say I've changed.  
__Well, something's lost but something's gained  
__In living everyday."_

_'Both Sides Now', Joni Mitchell_

_oo00oo_

Temperance Brennan drifted through the Jeffersonian in a daze. Everything seemed to be different somehow, disorientating and confusing her. Something was constantly pulling at her, dragging her mind back to where she wished she was, where she was still with the man she loved.

Sitting in her office, she kept expecting to find him leaning on the doorframe, waving some new case file at her with his charm smile as he teased her for her lack of pop culture understanding. Every footstep she heard in the corridor was almost his, every scent of that familiar aftershave was almost his, every ring of the telephone was almost his. Almost, but not quite.

She knew it was ridiculous but she couldn't help it. The days were passing so slowly, she thought it would never be time for him to come home, the one thing she wanted more than anything else in the world, the one thing she needed.

_I need him, I want him back._

Brennan was unaware of the way her colleagues looked at her now, the way their conversations hushed when she was around, how their jokes were left unfinished on her arrival, their constant need to lower their eyes in her presence. She didn't notice because none of that seemed important anymore.

Angela had tried to talk to her, tried to get her to open up but Brennan had resisted. There was always an excuse, whether it be a case file to solve, another chapter of her book to write or just a vague promise to catch up later, Brennan managed to keep her best friend at bay.

_I have to. If Angela makes me talk about it then it's all real and I won't be able to pretend anymore. Right now, it's like I'm just in some kind of horrific dream, a nightmare, but I know I'm going to wake up soon. I just have to hold on for another month or so. I just have to hold on to him…_

The nights were the worse. Lying in a cold bed with no one beside her and no work to distract her from the worst case scenarios building in her mind, Brennan felt herself slowly surrendering to the fact that he was gone. She knew Booth was coming back, she knew it was just a temporary assignment, but that didn't stop the fear that left her clammy and crying in the dark.

_What if something goes wrong? What if he never comes back to me? How could I cope without him now?_

Sheets pulled up her to chin, night after night Brennan tried to only remember the good moments. Dancing in her apartment with him to Foreigner, flirting during a stake out, how they spent the night before he left… But even the smile those memories brought to her lips was never enough to quell the raging fear in her chest.

She knew it was only Booth's return that would stop her from losing it all together. It was only Booth that could save her.

It was always only Booth.

_oo00oo_

Angela leant against the railing around the forensic platform, staring blankly at her best friend's office. After a few minutes, Hodgins appeared by her side and followed her gaze.

"She still hiding away in there?"

Angela glanced at the entomologist with a concerned frown.

"Yeah. I know that she's upset and worried about Booth, but this just isn't healthy."

Hodgins just nodded slowly, eventually offering up a shrug.

"So what do we do about it?"

Angela just shared the shrug.

"I don't know, Hodgy."

The artist dropped her chin in to her hand as she went back to staring towards her best friend sitting silently behind her desk.

"I honestly just don't know."

_oo00oo_

Cam had had enough.

Following Angela's gaze to the darkened office, she could barely make out the anthropologist's profile in the dim light of her computer screen. As usual, she was just sat there, staring, even her work providing little consolation which all of her colleagues found disturbing.

Taking a deep breath, Cam marched straight towards the office, ignoring the looks of surprise on the faces of Brennan's friends.

_I'm her boss and all of this is affecting her work so it has to stop. Now._

She sauntered into the office, pushing the door closed behind her as she switched on the overhead light. Brennan blinked rapidly, turning her gaunt face towards the intrusion. Cam was shocked by just how pale she looked, the black circles under red-rimmed eyes only helping to emphasise the fact that she looked ill.

_No, she looks scared and heartbroken. The man she loves is basically at war. The man we _both_ love…_

Cam swallowed hard and took a brisk step forward, the anthropologist's sharp blue eyes boring in to her.

"Doctor Brennan, we need to talk."

Temperance folded her arms staunchly across her chest, creating an immediate barrier between them in her effort to fend off yet another Booth's-going-to-be-fine lecture.

"What about?"

Cam slid in to the chair on the other side of the broad desk, letting her keep the barriers between them if it would help. She sighed heavily and leant forward, her elbows resting on her knees.

"Doctor Brennan, I know that you and I don't exactly see eye to eye the majority of the time but I'm worried about you and quite frankly, I'm worried about how your… _emotional_ state is affecting the lab."

Cam tried to ignore the obvious flinch her subordinate showed at the word emotional. She may not have been friends with the anthropologist by any means but she assumed that sticking to the cold hard facts was the only way that she was going to get Brennan to listen to her.

"Well, Doctor Saroyan, I don't see how my _emotional_ anything has caused any kind of effect on the lab or any of the cases the team are currently working on."

Cam just stared at her and shook her head.

_Always the stubborn one…Ok, let's try a different approach._

"Temperance, how long have you and Booth worked together?"

The anthropologist blinked rapidly at the use of her first name and the name of her partner. Thrown slightly off guard by the question, she had to think before she answered. Cam smiled as reassuringly as she could at her while she swallowed hard.

"Nearly two years. Why?"

Cam let the smile slip from her lips.

"Because in all that time, I would have thought that you would have gotten to know Booth a lot better than you obviously do."

Doctor Brennan's eyes narrowed as her cheeks flushed with anger, her words clipped short through gritted teeth.

"And what exactly is it that you're trying to say, Doctor Saroyan?"

Cam kept her gaze locked with the anthropologist's.

_That's it, get mad. The situation's not fair, and we all know it. Get it out and get on with it._

"I'm saying that in all the time you've known Booth, when have you ever seen him slack off? When have you _ever_ seen him ignore his duties or cast his work aside? Because that's exactly what you're doing right now, Doctor Brennan."

Cam raised a hand to silence the immediate objections forming on her colleague's lips before she continued.

"The only reason that Booth isn't here right now with you is because he's on the other side of the world working his ass off to help other people, which unless I've read your job description wrong, is what you're meant to be doing too. Do you really think Booth would be at all impressed if he could see what you're doing right now? Moping around with your sad little eyes and shirking your responsibilities, you're acting like he's died already."

Brennan flinched and Cam sighed, letting her tone soften slightly.

_Now for the big finish…_

"I know exactly how you feel about Booth being gone, Temperance, because I've felt it too. And I hated every second of it. When the person you love leaves, all you want to do is bury yourself away and pretend like the rest of the world doesn't exist because how can it if they're not in it anymore? But that's not how it should be for you. He's coming back and that's a lot more than the rest of us get. He's coming back to _you_."

Something changed in Brennan's face as she averted her eyes.

_Come on, you've got to get on with your life, you've got to actually _live_ it._

Slowly, Brennan raised her eyes to her boss, seeming to examine her before she spoke quietly.

"And how do you know that he's coming back? He's in _Iraq_. I've seen the statistics, I know how dangerous it is."

"You mean as dangerous as his own city where he gets blown up, beaten and shot at on what seems to be a regular basis?"

Cam sighed and got to her feet, leaning across the desk slightly as she spoke.

"I _know _he's coming back because he promised you he would. I've not seen Seeley break a promise yet and I highly doubt he'd ever break one as important as this one."

She knew that emotions and empty promises shouldn't be all that convincing for such a scientifically driven, logical anthropologist as Temperance Brennan but this was also a woman in love, a scared little girl that needed to hear kind words and white lies.

_I don't know that Booth's coming back, none of us do, but we all hope he will. We're all with you on this one, Brennan. Some of us more than most._

Cam gave a tight smile as she moved to exit the office, pausing with her hand on the door knob as she glanced back over her shoulder.

"Doctor Brennan, you can take an hour for lunch to get yourself smartened up and then I expect to see you back out in the lab doing your job just like everyone else is. Just like Booth is."

She marched out of the office without a second glance, certain her words had done the trick.

_When the words come from the people you love, sometimes they just don't ring true. After all, they're supposed to comfort you and make you feel better however they can. But when it comes from someone you barely even know, someone like me, it gives it that extra bit of credence, that kick up the backside you need to get yourself moving on._

Passing by the forensic platform, Cam caught Angela's confused eye. The boss just shrugged, not even breaking her stride as she spoke.

"The doctor just needed some tough love, Miss Montenegro. She'll be back out soon."

As Cam disappeared round the corner, Angela just threw her gaze back to her best friend's office. Inside, Brennan was still sat at her desk though now she was clutching Jasper in her hands as she stared off into space. The artist felt her heart sink.

_Maybe 'tough love' just isn't going to do the trick this time._

But then Brennan carefully laid the toy pig back down on her desk and got to her feet, crossing the office to her bag. She pulled out a hairbrush, tidying herself up in her compact mirror. After some careful reapplication of kohl eyeliner and some concealer for the dark circles under her eyes, Brennan smoothed down her lab coat and let out a deep sigh.

Angela watched as her best friend marched out of the office, swiping her card for access to the forensic platform with a purposeful motion before striding over to the autopsy table. Her eyes narrowing as she scanned the skeleton laid out in front of her, she picked up the case file lying on the desk beside her and flicked her gaze up at Hodgins.

"So, what've we got?"

Angela grinned and pulled Brennan into an enormous hug which the anthropologist relented to for just a moment before shrugging her off.

"Ange, if it's alright with you, I'd like to get back to work here."

Still grinning from ear to ear, the artist grabbed her sketchbook with a nod and moved away, pausing to lean towards her favourite bug guy.

"We just got our Brennan back."


	21. Gone To War

**A/N: Before you read this chapter, I just want to say one thing. No matter my opinion on the war in Iraq and whether or not we should be there, I have the upmost respect and pride for those that are willing to fight and put their lives on the line for us back home. I have friends and family in active service, plus I am aware that a number of people who are reading this have loved ones in Iraq too. For that reason, I have tried to keep this chapter as violence-free as possible, mainly out of respect and also because I do not want to upset anyone (least of all myself) with the type of imagery that war in Iraq undoubtedly creates, whether it's fictional or not. I hope you all understand what it is that I'm trying to do and I apologise if anything I have written has offended anyone or is inaccurate in any way. I'm simply trying to tell a story. **

Anyway, that's more than enough from me. If you do have any opinions or issues with this, please do not hesitate to let me know.

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_"For every man who wants to rule the world  
__There'll be a man who just wants to be free…  
__So everybody's gone to war, but we don't know what we're fighting for,  
__Don't tell me it's a worthy cause, no cause could be so worthy.  
__If love is a drug I guess we're all sober.__If hope is a song, I guess it's all over.  
__How to have faith when faith is a crime, I don't want to die.  
__If God's on our side, then God is a joker. Asleep on the job, his children fall over.  
__Running out through the door and straight to the sky, I don't want to die."_

_'Everybody's Gone To War', Nerina Pallot_

_oo00oo_

Booth marched in to the barracks, duffel over his shoulder and a stern look on his face. Finding his bunk, he sat slowly and stared down at his spit-shine boots. Knowing he didn't have much in the way of time, he pulled a carefully packed envelope from his bag and laid the contents out in front of him, unable to keep the small smile from pulling at his lips as he did so.

Unfolding the portrait Angela had drawn, he sighed heavily as he stared down in to the pencil eyes of the woman he loved, the aching in his chest so strong he was scared it was about to swallow him whole. Next, he pulled out an array of wallet-sized photos of his son and fanned them out in front of him, running a finger across Parker's joyous smile and sparkling eyes.

Beside him, the duffel bag fell on its side, spilling some of its contents. Rolling his eyes, Booth leant down to pick them up, finding an envelope addressed to him he had never seen before.

Frowning, he practically ripped it open, pulling out a handwritten note from Brennan.

_My dearest Seeley, _

I know that I'm not great with goodbyes so in case I mess it up later, I thought I'd better write you this. It's currently 4:30am and you're fast asleep beside me. I plan on hiding this in your duffle bag for your arrival in Iraq but, knowing how meticulous you are with your packing, I hope you don't find it sooner. I want it to be a surprise.

He smiled to himself sadly, his heart pounding with excitement as he continued to read.

_I'm not too sure why I'm writing this exactly, but I woke up about half an hour ago with so much I still wanted to say but without the heart to wake you. I suppose it's easier to write it all down than to say it face to face anyway. I mean, writing's what I do these days._

_What it was I wanted to say seems to escape me now that I've come to the point where it has to be said. I guess that's the way it's always been for me. The science, the facts, they all come so easily even though I know that those around me sometimes struggle to keep up. However, I hope you understand that when it comes to the emotional side of life, it is I who struggles. I watch you when you talk with victims and their families, the compassion you have for the world and the people in it, and sometimes I envy you. If I had that skill then it would be easy for me to say these things to you without getting worried. As it is, all I seem to do is worry at the moment. I worry about you._

Booth turned the page slowly with a trembling hand, his eyes locked on the familiar curves of her writing.

_As I'm sure you're aware, I don't want you to go. Not just because it's a war zone and I'm worried about what might happen to you, but because I worry about what might happen to me in your absence. I've grown so accustomed to having you with me every day that the idea of you not being around seems to cause me more distress than seems appropriate. I suppose it's because I love you, Seeley. I've always loved you, it just took me a while to realise it._

His eyes swimming in tears, Booth had to run a hand across his face to clear his vision, though a smile still clung to the corners of his mouth.

_I'm sure that there are many things that you should be doing right now so I'm going to end this letter here and hope that it goes some way to conveying how I feel, especially if I failed to make the right impression in person (I'm well aware of my shortcomings in that area). Just know that I'm proud of you for doing what you are, for fighting and teaching and just being the noble, righteous man that I fell for. I'm so very proud of you, we all are, especially Parker. And I miss you so much, even with you still lying beside me, I miss you. Because I love you.._

_Come home to me soon.  
__Yours, always, _

Temperance x

Without an ounce of shame, Booth let the tears fall.

_oo00oo_

The days seemed to pass in a heat fuelled daze for Booth. If he was being honest with himself, he hated being in Iraq. He had only been there just over a week and he already found two of the boys he'd been teaching had died. Insurgents had staged an ambush on the outskirts of Bagdahd, not far from where their main camp was situated, leaving his two students dead and a further four soldiers seriously wounded when a rocket propelled grenade was fired at their truck.

_As they say, "War is Hell"…_

But it wasn't the heat or the hatred, the blood or the bodies that got to Booth. He was saddened to admit that he had basically become immune to the sight of all that years before. Instead it was the knowledge that he still had so much time to go before he could see the people he loved again.

He carried two photos in the breast pocket of his flak jacket everywhere he went, both dog eared from their constant viewings. One was of Parker throwing a baseball with an enormous goofy grin which Booth was well aware had come from him. The other was of Brennan and himself, his arm draped around their shoulder in Wong Foos, taken months before by Angela on one of their night outs after work.

Every single time he looked at the photos, the memories came flooding back. Every single time, he couldn't keep the smile off his face. Every single time, he couldn't help his heart breaking a little bit more.

And the rest of the guys had noticed. They'd done the obligatory showing of photos to each other on the first night, a bonding exercise Booth had come to expect from his time as a Ranger. The lads had all let out low whistles of appreciation when they set eyes on his girl, their comments ranging from the respectful to the downright x-rated. Once they found out that she was the same Temperance Brennan who wrote those crime books, the friendly ribbing got even worse. After all, he was technically dating a _celebrity._

But the lads never went too far, keeping a respectful distance between the friendly banter and any real intrusion in to what they knew was private. After all, they all had memories they wanted to keep just for themselves. That was all they had to keep them company when the nights drew in and the steady patter of gunfire lulled them to sleep.

Booth spent half his time wishing it was about to turn to night. Then he could return to his bunk, hunker down under the covers and for a few blissful hours, he could leave Iraq and be with Temperance again. That was all he really wanted.

But the nights were becoming shorter and his sleep more fitful. The thud of mortars and the crescendos of gunfire were getting ever closer to their base. The troops were losing ground and they all knew it. Booth cursed the insurgent movement, not for their cause or their beliefs, but because they were taking away the only time he had with Brennan, even if it was only just in his head.

During the day, Booth had stepped up the training schedules, running drill after drill on being the best sniper these boys could be. They were gearing up to an important mission, taking out the leader of the local insurgency before he could get a chance to carry out an all-out assault on the allied troops stationed in the area.

Booth thanked God every day that the powers that be were yet to ask him to be a part of the mission. The last thing he wanted was to be out there again, being forced to take another life.

Leaning against the rubble of what used to be a wall, Booth pulled out his canteen and took a sip of water, considering his last thought.

_Is it really any different if I'm the one teaching these boys how to kill more effectively? Don't I still have this Iraqi's blood on my hands? How is this really any different to how things were before?_

Twisting the lid back on the canteen, he stood there for a few more minutes staring in to space, barely feeling the heat of the afternoon sun beating down on the parched earth at his feet.

_All that matters is that Bones understands what I'm facing out here, she understands what I went through before, the aftermath of all that death and destruction. She knows how hard it was for me to come out here but she also knows it was something I had to do. They needed my help. How could I say no?_

Straightening up, Booth carried on walking through the encampment, nodding greetings at familiar faces and saluting those he needed to without even thinking about it. His mind was elsewhere, back in Washington DC, same as always.

Somewhere up ahead, he heard the rat-a-tat of machine guns and the harsh bark of orders above the din.

_Do they ever stop running drills? Well, better to be prepared as much as you can, especially with so many kids out here. God, they don't have a clue what they're facing…_

Deep in thought, he just kept on marching towards his make-shift office, preparing to draw up the next week's training schedules. Something was nagging at him though, tugging at the back of his mind.

_What? What is it?_

He stopped dead in his tracks.

_Something's not right…_

Standing stock still in the middle of the camp, he realised what was wrong as he listened to the exercises up ahead.

_That's not exercises…_

Without a second thought, Booth darted right through the piles of rubble, heading straight for his bunk. Charging inside, he shook his buddy Tom awake and grabbed his weapon, the pair of them racing back outside and towards the sounds of fighting.

Shaking his head to clear the cobwebs away, Tom loaded his weapon as he ran, glancing at Booth.

"What the hell's going on? Did the bastards attack our camp?"

Booth didn't even glance in his direction as he started to slow down, carefully manoeuvring round crates of supplies that were in the middle of being loaded out of the back of a truck. At least they had been before the interruption.

Rounding a large stack of boxes, Booth hunkered down, moving swiftly and silently down the length of the vehicle, using its bulk for cover and aware of Tom doing the same on the other side.

Mentally, he laid out a map of the base and plotted where they were. The truck was parked outside the supply depot meaning there was a guard station about ten feet ahead of them and slightly to the left. Beyond that another thirty to thirty-five feet was the main gate, protected by guards and multiple layers of barbed wire.

Dropping to his stomach, Booth shuffled forward in the dirt, adjusting his helmet as he did so. Somewhere ahead he could people shouting, gunshots echoing in his ears as a large mortar round shook the truck beside him. He ignored the noise, focusing instead on reaching the front wheel and the end of his cover. Pausing for a second, Booth slowly inched forward, craning his neck to get a look at the pandemonium at the front of the camp.

Two large trucks had been driven up to the main gates and then exploded by the looks of things, the barbed wire curling back on itself and the guard hut now just a pile of splintered wood. A thick haze of smoke and dust limited Booth's vision and he struggled to make out who was who through the sting of sand in his eyes.

_There's no way in hell that I'm gonna fire if I can't even tell who these people are…_

On the other side of the truck, Tom seemed to have a different idea. Booth vaguely remembered his friend having goggles hanging around his neck as they left the bunk and he cursed himself for not having the foresight to bring his own.

_And they let _you_ teach people…_

Tom was firing round after round in quick succession towards a point somewhere beyond Booth's field of vision. He knew he couldn't risk moving forward any further to get a better look or he would be totally exposed. Blinking rapidly, he tried to focus on distinguishing the few shapes he could just make out in front of him, trying to decide if they were friend or foe.

Booth never got the chance to come to a conclusion.

The last thing he remembered was the white heat in his back as the truck exploded above him and as the shards of metal rained down around him and blood soaked in to the sand, only one word escaped his lips.

"Temperance…"


	22. All Kinds Of Time

**A/N: For those that read my AN for the last chapter, the sentiment still holds true which is why this update is short and sweet. I don't want to go into gory details when it concerns an issue as sensitive as Iraq so I'm sorry this is so short but I promise that you find out Booth's fate and all the rest of it very soon. In fact, this whole story should be done in the next couple of days so stay tuned... **

**And thank you to every single one of you that's reviewed this, especially Goldpiece, Mariah, Carol, Bella and Lynn. You guys rock my world!**_**

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** _

_"He takes a step back, __he's under attack,  
__But he knows that no-one can touch him now.  
__He seems so at ease, a strange inner peace  
__Is all that he's feeling somehow." _

_'All Kinds of Time', Fountains of Wayne_

_oo00oo_

Lying on his stomach in the dirt, Booth squinted ahead of him, trying to make out the figures charging through the haze of smoke and swirling sand. On the other side of the truck that he was using for cover, he could hear his buddy Tom firing off round after round in to the turmoil up ahead.

Booth pointed his M14, training it on the nearest figure.

_Friend or foe, friend or foe, friend or foe…_

Unable to distinguish the man's identity as he disappeared back in to the haze, Booth relaxed his finger against the trigger.

_I have to make a choice… Friend or foe…_

Booth didn't get a chance to choose. He vaguely heard the whoosh of something passing through the air above him on his left just before the truck protecting him blew up.

The white heat of the blast seared his back, pain ripping through his uniform as shards of metal pierced his body. As his vision swum and faded to black, only one word escaped his parched lips.

"Temperance…"

As the darkness descended, Booth tried to cling on, tried to keep a grip on the real world. Forcing his eyes open, he watched his own blood begin to soak in to the sand.

_Temperance… Parker…_

He could see them standing at his graveside, tears sliding down their faces as they lowered his body into the ground.

_No, I can't let that happen… I can't leave her, I can't leave either of them. I love them… Come on, Booth, get up. Get up!_

Booth forced himself to grab a hold of his weapon, trying to push himself up to his feet. His arms wouldn't support him and he collapsed back in to the dirt, a cloud of dust enveloping him as the pain shot through his body, blinding him instantly.

Lying in the sand turning red before his eyes, the pain was becoming too much and his eyes slid closed.

_Get up, get up, GET UP!_

His eyes flew open and he concentrated all his effort on getting to his feet, slowly managing to steady himself against the smouldering remains of the truck. Wobbling a little, he quickly ran a detached eye over his body, examining his wounds. Although he couldn't see what was going on with his back, he knew there were multiple pieces of metal buried in his uniform. His front was mostly unscathed, except for a large piece of shrapnel pointing out of his shoulder.

Attempting to ignore the pain, he felt a sudden twinge of fear and dug through the pocket of the front of his uniform. His fingers slick with blood, he fumbled through the contents, his heart pounding until he found what he was looking for.

Staring down at the photographs, he felt his eyes sting with tears.

_My son and the woman I love… I know I promised I was coming home but…_

Laying a quick kiss on each image, he thrust the photos back in to his pocket and raised the weapon to his shoulder, carefully moving forward to take the offensive.

His eyes blurring, he shook his head and looked around. Tom had stopped firing and the sandstorm was still limiting his vision. Booth stopped himself from looking left, aware of the service weapon lying discarded in the dirt and not wanting to know the fate of its owner.

Seeing movement out of the corner of his eye, Booth took a stumbling step backwards and pointed his M14 at the figure. Catching a glimpse of the stars and stripes plastered on the figure's arm, he relaxed his aim, lowering his weapon.

He never heard the enemy approach, his only warning the sudden heat of the bullet tearing through his Kevlar.

Booth never felt the arms roughly grabbing him, never heard the angry yelling above him, never smelt the gunpowder or tasted the metallic tang of the blood in his mouth.

He never felt a thing. He was already back in Washington DC, lying in the arms of the woman he loved.


	23. Alone Again, Naturally

_"To think that only yesterday  
__I was cheerful, bright and gay.  
__Looking forward to, and who wouldn't do,  
__The role I was about to play.  
__But as if to knock me down, reality came around  
__And without so much as a mere touch,  
__Cut me into little pieces, leaving me to doubt…  
__And in my hour of need, I truly am indeed  
__Alone again, naturally."_

_'Alone Again Naturally', Gilbert O'Sullivan_

_oo00oo_

Temperance Brennan didn't have a clue how she had ended up where she was now standing. Nothing seemed to make sense, her normally rational mind shrouded in a mist of memories that did nothing but disorientate her.

The gentle caress of the rain could not drag her from that daze as she stood there, her coat flapping against her legs in the bitter wind that seemed to be whispering to her through the boughs of the trees.

She was vaguely aware of a deep voice speaking familiar words nearby but she wasn't listening. Instead she focused her full attention on the whispers of the breeze, the words slowly forming in her mind.

_Seeeeleeeey… Seeeeeleeeeey…_

A shudder ran down Brennan's spine at that familiar name, the false mention of it bringing tears to her eyes. She wished he was with her now, she wished he could comfort her, wished he was close.

_But he is Temperance, he is. You can feel it, you always can. All you have to do is look._

Slowly, her eyes began to focus on her surroundings and she felt her stomach sink. In front of her was a sea of white covering the carefully kept grass. Row after row of white marble, the men still in formation, the crosses standing though the men had fallen. This was the final resting place of far too many, where valour proudly slept.

_Arlington Cemetery._

A sudden pain in her hands forced Brennan to look down, finding blood on her fingers where she had been gripping the stem of the single white rose. She watched as rain diluted red, dripping to the earth beside the gaping hole staring back up at her, mocking her. The very essence of her life was seeping in to the ground that was about to claim the only man she had ever loved.

She raised her heavy eyes, watching the solemn faces of uniformed men as they held the flag taught over his coffin, folding it over and over until all that was left was a triangle of stripes and stars, their colours muted in the day's grey haze.

The flag was carried across to Booth's weeping mother, her pearls gleaming in the rain. She clutched it to her chest, clinging to it tightly, her sobbing muted slightly as her husband lay a trembling but uniformed hand on her arm, offering her his silent support the best way he knew how.

The soldier moved on, kneeling in front of Parker, his brown eyes glistening with tears that streamed down his scared face like his grandmother's pearls. The little boy, seeming even smaller than usual in his dark suit, tentatively took the framed medals being offered to him, looking up to Rebecca for reassurance. She barely managed a squeeze of his shoulder, consumed as she was in her own ache of grief.

Temperance averted her eyes, realising that the military were not about to offer her any mementos. Not that she would ever really want any reminders of this occasion. She didn't need the regalia or the posthumous accolades to remember him. All she needed were the memories she carried in a shattered heart.

The wind picked up, whispering that painful name while it lashed the rain against her face. She didn't feel it. She didn't feel anything.

The seven riflemen fired three shots in to the air, making her jump and sending her hand fluttering to her chest, leaving a slight bloody handprint above her heart. Temperance didn't even notice.

She was barely conscious of the crowd moving around her, the gentle whispers as they passed, their concerned glances. None of it mattered. She wasn't sure if anything ever would again.

She let the surge of people move her forward, towards the wooden box, the brass plate engraved with the name that once made her heart soar but now left her feeling hollow.

Temperance stood there, just staring blankly as the rain washed away her tears.

_If only it could wash away the pain, this emptiness…_

Swallowing hard, she laid her rose on top of the coffin, letting her hand rest there for a moment, desperate for the closeness they had once shared but never would again.

_I'll never be with him again. I'll never see those eyes, hear that voice, feel his touch… He's gone. He left me. He broke his promise, just like everyone else…_

Removing her hand, she felt her chest ache as she realised she had smeared blood from the cut on her fingers right across the brass plate. It pooled there briefly before the rain claimed it.

Somewhere from the recesses of her memory, WH Auden's words filled her mind.

_He was my North, my South, my East and West,  
__My working week and my Sunday rest,  
__My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;  
__I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong…_

Biting her lower lip to try and keep it from trembling, she was aware of Angela moving to her side, feeling her best friend's puffy, red-rimmed eyes boring in to her. Temperance couldn't look at her, couldn't bear to hear the words she knew were about to be offered in comfort.

_There is no comfort now. There is nothing. Booth's gone. Nothing else matters._

"Temperance…"

Brennan just stared down at the flower laden coffin, her vision blurring with tears as she ignored the friend she knew was only trying to help.

"Temperance…"

_This isn't happening._

She screwed her eyes shut as tightly as she could, her fists clenched by her sides.

_This isn't happening, it can't be. He promised me he was coming home to me. He promised!_

She felt Angela's hand on her arm, gripping her tightly.

"Temperance!"

Brennan's eyes flew open and stared straight in to those of the artist. Except they weren't crying anymore, not quite.

Blinking rapidly, the anthropologist stared around her, running a confused hand over her face. She was lying on the sofa in her office, the blanket tangled between her legs and her cheeks damp with tears.

She looked back at Angela, relief washing over her. At least until she saw the look in her best friend's eye and heard the tone of her voice.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry to wake you but… There was an attack. Booth, he's…"

She tailed off and the sight of Arlington Cemetery burnt in to the back of Brennan's eyelids as her heart shattered beyond repair.

When she finally found the strength to speak, her voice was hoarse and distant.

"He's gone…"

Angela's eyes widened as she shook her head frantically.

"No, sweetie, don't say that! He's been badly injured but he's a fighter, you know that. He's holding on, Bren. He's not letting go of you that easily."

The anthropologist just stared at her, tears rolling down her face.

"He's… He's alive?"

"Yes! They're transferring him to some hospital in Germany and…"

Angela didn't get a chance to finish her sentence as Brennan jumped to her feet and charged out of the door.

"Wait, what? Where are you going?"

Angela barely heard the reply as her best friend disappeared through the main doors of the lab.

"Germany."

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**A/N: And you thought I was going to kill Booth... Hee hee. I'm not that cruel, honest! Have to admit that I was writing this I was getting distinct Dallas vibes (_"It was just a dream?"_)... Don't worry, it's all nearly over now. And thank you to everyone for being so supportive along the way. Keep it up and I'll write faster! **


	24. Be Here Now

**A/N: Sorry this one's a little rushed kiddies but put it down to the clocks going back. Or forward. Or whatever the hell happened to throw my body clock through a loop. What's wrong with a little standardised time for God's sake? All this switching back and forth confuses the hell out of me... Anyways, just a little quick one for you here. There's only two, maybe three, chapters to go so it'll hopefully all be over soon. And I promise there will be more warm and fluffies to come! **

PS: Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. Sorry if I scared you but it ain't over yet..._

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_"Don't lose your faith in me  
__And I'll try not to lose my faith in you.  
__Don't put your trust in walls,  
__'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall.  
__Be here now, here now."_

_'Be Here Now', Ray LaMontagne_

_oo00oo_

LANDSTUHL REGIONAL MEDICAL CENTER, GERMANY

Temperance Brennan paced up and down the sterile corridors, her arms tightly wrapped around her. In her hurry to reach the airport, she had forgotten to bring warmer clothes. She had almost forgotten to bring her passport.

She didn't notice the young nurse watching her. In her starched scrubs, the blonde eyed the dishevelled woman with concern. Her hair was a matted mess, her eyes red and hooded with tiredness, her clothes wrinkled from the ten hour journey.

The nurse was used to seeing distressed relatives worrying about their loved ones, pacing and praying and waiting, just waiting for news. What kind of news it was - good or bad - that didn't matter in the end. Every single person just needed to know, needed that closure and resolution.

Sighing, the nurse looked down at the chart for the worried woman's loved one. A sniper in the Rangers turned FBI agent, a good guy who ended up back in Iraq to try and do the right thing. A man now lying on an operating table, barely clinging on to the world he'd fought so hard to protect.

Laying down the chart, the nurse just hoped the worried woman's answers weren't about to come in yet another flag-draped wooden box.

_oo00oo_

Temperance didn't know how long she'd been dozing in the uncomfortable plastic chairs. The hours had all seemed to merge in to one long daze, drowning her in her fears and uncertainty.

Sitting up and stretching out the kinks in her muscles, Brennan couldn't get rid of the hollow feeling in her stomach. Dropping her head in to her hands, she stared at the floor, trying to drive the image of her partner in pain out of her mind.

The soft sound of footsteps pulled Brennan back to the sterile corridor. She looked up in to the kindly eyes of a young blonde nurse. She stopped in front of her, a chart clutched to her chest.

"I'm sorry to disturb you. You're Doctor Brennan aren't you?"

She staggered to her feet, trying to shake the sleep from her mind.

"Yes, do you have any news?"

The nurse glanced down at the chart.

"Agent Booth is out of surgery. They're taking him up to ICU now."

Brennan stepped forward, resisting the urge to snatch the chart out of the woman's hands.

"And his prognosis?"

"So far, it's hard to tell. As I said, he's only just come out of surgery so until the swelling goes down…"

"Swelling? Exactly what kind of surgery did he have?"

The nurse frowned.

"You mean, the doctors haven't spoken to you?"

Brennan sighed, running a tired hand across her face as she sat herself back down.

"Well, no. They were a little busy cutting my partner up when I got here."

"Doctor Brennan, I'm sorry but I really should let you speak to the surgeon before -"

The anthropologist practically jumped to her feet, invading the nurse's personal space with eyes that flashed with anger.

"Look, I didn't fly half way round the world for nearly eight hours before being crammed in to a tiny little car for an hour and a half just to get here and be given the run around. So tell me what's going on."

The nurse didn't back away. She just stared at the scared woman in front of her with eyes that had seen it all before and wished they hadn't. Eventually Brennan sunk down in to the uncomfortable seat again, dropping her head in to her hands.

"I'm sorry. I just… I need to know what's going on with him. He's my partner. He's my…"

She seemed to choke on her words and the nurse seated herself beside her, relenting.

"Doctor Brennan, Agent Booth suffered severe injuries during the attack on the base. Although he was wearing a bullet proof vest, it appears that some of the insurgents had Teflon coated bullets, sometimes called 'cop killers'."

She paused, laying a soothing hand on the scared woman's arm.

"I'm afraid that some of those bullets pierced Agent Booth's flak jacket. Two were easily treatable flesh wounds but one hit the ribcage, deflecting off the bone and hitting… Well, an exploratory laparotomy revealed that there was a large amount of damage done to the liver, kidneys and the heart."

Brennan seemed to shrink in to the chair, blinking back tears.

"His… His heart?"

The nurse squeezed her arm reassuringly.

"It's not as bad as it sounds, I promise. The bullet lost some energy as it passed through the Kevlar and flesh, slowing it down and causing it to be pulled in to the cardiovascular system and creating a pulmonary embolism. It's neither rare nor fatal when it is caught in time. And in this case, it was. The doctors operated, removed the bullet and relieved the pressure on his heart. However, there were some minor complications with his burns and the shrapnel from the explosion."

Brennan let out a shuddering breath, staring straight ahead.

"What kind of complications?"

The nurse looked down at the chart, knowing that this was the type of woman who would want facts over empty promises and reassurances.

"It appears that some of the shrapnel from the explosion lodged into his back, and when he was dragged away from the scene it shifted, hitting the spinal column. It caused the inter-vertebrae disk between thoracic vertebrae T5 and T6 to dislocate."

Brennan grimaced, turning away to hide the tears on her cheeks, her voice quiet and weak.

"But that sort of displacement would likely severe the nerves in the spinal column, causing paralysis from the waist down…"

The nurse watched the woman battle her emotions with clinical detachment, attempting to bury her fear in facts and figures. It didn't seem to be helping.

"Doctor Brennan, as I said, we won't know anything until the swelling goes down. But Agent Booth, he seems to be a fighter."

Her encouragement did nothing to sooth the turbulent storm in those sharp blue eyes that stared back at her, slowly turning away to stare down at her hands. She was clutching a small toy pig, absently rotating it in her palm.

"He is a fighter. He always has been. But if he's… I don't know what he'd… He has a son. Parker, he… He has a son…"

The nurse watched a solitary tear creep down the woman's face. She hadn't even seemed to have noticed.

_She really loves this guy._

"I'll get a doctor to come and speak to you as soon as they can to explain everything properly. If you need anything in the meantime, just give me a shout. My name is Susan, Susan Escrow."

Walking away down the sterile corridor, the nurse clutched the chart to her chest as a type of barrier from the worry she felt creeping in. She had been here before more times than she cared to count with more families than deserved to be faced with this kind of news. And once again, Susan found herself praying that for once this story would have a happy ending.

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**A/N: Haven't had time to check this one properly so I hope my anatomical knowledge is holding up. Any glaring mistakes, let me know! Catch you kiddies tomorrow and thanks for reading! It's much appreciated.**


	25. Seven Years

**A/N: I know I promised this for yesterday, folks, but real life keeps getting in the way of my fickle fictional fancies. Anyways, I hope this isn't too OCC but I figured good old Brennan would have to say her piece whether Booth was listening or not. Let me know what you think!**  
_

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_

_"Fragile as a leaf in autumn,  
__Just falling to the ground without a sound.  
__Crooked little smile on her face,  
__Tells a tale of grace that's all her own."_

_'Seven Years', Norah Jones_

_oo00oo_

Temperance Brennan sat at the bedside, staring at her partner. He was still unconscious following his surgery and she knew he wasn't going to wake up anytime soon.

She kept reaching out her hand to his and stopping just before. He looked so fragile, so weak. She was scared that she might break him.

_He was always the strong one, the fighter. But where has that got him? A hospital bed full of tubes and drips and bullets and fire and… When he wakes up, he could be paralysed for the rest of his life, stuck in a wheelchair unable to play with Parker, unable to do his job, unable to live the life he wants._

_My Booth, my poor broken Booth…_

She shuffled the chair forward a few inches, the legs squeaking against the linoleum, sending a shiver down her spine akin to nails across a chalkboard. She grimaced slightly, closing her eyes against the sound for a moment, before returning her gaze to the man in front of her.

He was lying still, too still, the only movement the steady rise and fall of his bare chest. Bandages partially covered the thick burns which had erupted across his skin, cuts and grazes highlighting the fresh bruises which angrily covered his face and hands and every other part she cared to look.

_My Booth, my poor broken Booth…_

Her eyes focused on the drip in the back of his hand, her gaze following the maze of tubes implanted all throughout his body. Her heart seemed to slow in her chest at the sight of it all, at the pain it caused her in every fibre of her being.

She had taught herself to fight in every way she could. Protecting herself from the physical pain by learning martial arts and becoming a sharp shooter, protecting herself from the emotional by detaching herself and shutting down, but Booth… He was different.

His strength came from the emotions he felt as much as the power in his muscles. His strength came from his place in the world, his certainty of the power that comes through relationships, through his connection to the people around him.

His strength took her by surprise sometimes, his ability to stay strong against all the odds because he…

_Because he loves. Because he knows that he is loved._

She missed his strength now. She _needed_ his strength now. It was all falling to pieces, everything. It was only now that she realised just how much she relied on his strength under the pretence of being strong herself.

He was the one who had brought her out of her detachment, taken her heart out of the box she had sealed it in years before and made her use it. He was the one who had made her realise that opening her life up to other people meant that she ran the risk of getting hurt but that the rewards, the love and friendships she formed, made it all worthwhile.

But looking at the man she loved now, it certainly didn't feel worth it.

Her pillar of strength was now weak and broken, trapped in a prison of tubes and bandages and bleeping machines. Somewhere nearby she could hear the sound of a clock tick-tocking, tick-mocking.

Slowly, she inched the chair forward again, resting her forearm against the side of the bed as she leaned in closer to the man she loved, the man she would have given her life for to stop him suffering.

Tentatively, she reached out her hand and used the back of her fingers to stroke his cheek.

_Please, don't be suffering…I know you're sleeping right now but please, just don't be suffering, don't be in pain. Not like me._

His eyelids fluttered slightly at her touch but they stayed closed.

_Just a reaction to the change of environment when I touched him, just the electrical impulses in his brain firing up, just a random reaction, just nothing._

She sighed heavily, her hand sliding down his arm to grasp his fingers, raising them to her mouth to kiss them gently. Clutching his hand, she gripped it tight and held it to her chest as she used her free hand to carefully brush the stray hair from his forehead.

"Booth, I…"

_What am I doing? It's not like he can hear me. He's unconscious. He's not aware of anything around him, not even me._

She blinked rapidly, the warmth of his hand in her grasp creeping through her shirt to tingle the skin beneath.

_But there have been scientific studies showing that patients can react to the stimulus around them, even in comas. It can help them to fight whatever it is that's ailing them by hearing familiar voices, smelling familiar scents, feeling a familiar touch. So feel mine Booth, hear mine._

"Booth, you make me so mad sometimes."

Her voice was quiet and low, barely above a whisper, but with her mouth so close to his ear, she knew that if he was able to, he could hear her. And right now, she was getting angry.

"You knew how much I needed you, how much Parker needed you, we all did. You're the glue that holds our whole team together and without you… So what do you do? You go off to Iraq to fight the good fight, right? Always playing the hero, always needing to atone for the things you did as a sniper, the lives you took. Well, it nearly cost you your life. It nearly cost me mine in a way…"

She blinked rapidly, trying to hold back the floods of tears that threatened to fall again.

"What the hell am I supposed to do if you die on me, huh? How am I supposed to carry on knowing what we could have had together? You give me the briefest taste of what that life could have been like and then you run away from me, from all of us. It's not right, Booth, and you nearly made the rest of us pay the price."

Her voice got quieter still as she let the thoughts spill out of her, not caring how irrational or illogical she sounded. There was no one left to really listen anyway.

"It would be easy for you if they'd gotten what they wanted, if you had… if you'd died. It would all be over for you, but not for us. I know that you believe that there's something _after_, some place that we go when we die, but I think you accept that I can't believe that. Sometimes I want to but I just can't. It goes against all the science, all those irrefutable laws. And if you were awake right now, you'd argue with me. You'd point out miracles and anomalies yet to be explained by science as we understand it, and you'd say that maybe that was evidence of something else."

She rolled her eyes to the ceiling, imagining the look of exasperation on her partner's face as he would attempt to make her comprehend his faith.

"But I don't see miracles, Booth. As far as I'm concerned, death is the be all and end all. I deal with it every day. I see the skeletons, I see marks from murder weapons, I catalogue and examine and identify and I search, Booth, I search. But never have I found what it is that you seek. I see no evidence of life beyond this. I wish I could, I wish I had that comfort in the dark hours when I get scared for you."

Brennan lost her battle against her own eyes, a solitary tear sliding down her cheek. She didn't even notice.

"Before I found out what happened to you, I had a horrid dream. I saw what it would be like without you there. I was at your funeral, standing in the middle of Arlington Cemetery and I was all alone. It was all so cold and grey and dark. None of it meant anything without you standing beside me. I was scared and I was alone, and you weren't there to help me. And that's why I'm mad, Booth. As stupid as it sounds, that's why I'm mad. Because as much as you want to play the hero and put things right, the hardest thing is just to stick around and face up to life day after day. You're the one who taught me that. You're the one who made me realise that we have to open ourselves up to the world in order to be a part of it. But if you…"

Words failed her briefly as the tears claimed her throat, choking her voice to nothingness until she managed to regain her composure.

"If you had died, it would be the rest of us who suffered. Not you, not the one who caused it all. It would be us left alone, _me_, wondering where you'd gone when I woke up in the middle of the night in an empty bed. It would be us that had to try and pick up the pieces and go on with our lives. Sometimes I think death is the easy way out. Instead of facing up to your past and battling all those demons you carry around with you, it's easier to go out like a hero in a blaze of glory."

She rested her head against his shoulder, still clutching his hand to her heart.

"I don't want a hero, Booth. I never have done. I don't need a man who feels like he has to be the knight in shining armour all the time. I don't need protecting, at least not like a fairy tale damsel in distress. I need protection from all _this_, the hospitals and the fear and the not-knowing what's going to happen. I love you so much, Seeley, and the idea of losing you… It kills me. It _kills_ me."

She felt his fingers twitch against her own and knew it was just another involuntary reflex, just another neuron firing in his drug-addled brain.

"I don't need someone who feels like he needs to be a hero, Booth. You already are one. You don't need to go running off to the other side of the world to impress me. You did that just by standing beside me everyday, by showing me the kind of noble man you are. You were already my hero. So why did you have to go running off to Iraq just to get shot and blown up, huh? Why did you do that?"

The chest she was leaning on heaved sharply with a hoarse cough, causing her to jerk upwards and look straight in to the open eyes of the only man who she had ever loved, a man who was attempting to smile through both the pain he felt and the pain he knew he caused.

"Yeah, why _did_ I do that? After all, I can stay in DC and get shot and blown up as much as I want. In fact, I think there's probably a queue of low-life volunteers wanting to help me out in just that kind of thing."

She just stared at him, her cheeks moist with tears. He squeezed her hand, his smile bright white amidst the angry reds and purples across his face.

"Hey Bones. Miss me?"

She clutched his hand tighter, a smile erupting across her taught and tired features.

"More than life itself."

She leaned closer, letting her lips brush against his gently, not wanting to cause him any more pain. Feeling him flinch slightly beneath her, she shifted backwards, planting herself firmly in the uncomfortable chair. But she didn't let go of his hand. Even as the relief washed through her at the sight of her partner alive and well, she couldn't let go of him. Not yet.

He attempted to flash her his patented charm smile but the pain showed in his eyes.

"Bones, do you mind not leaning on the tube that leads down, well, you know, down _there_…"

She jerked her arm up and he flinched again before settling back against the pillows with a heavy sigh.

"Thanks. Just, you know, you were kinda strangling the little fella there."

She grinned sheepishly, still unable to let go of his hand.

"I should get a doctor. How do you feel?"

Booth raised his eyebrows slightly as he looked down at the multitude of tubes and bandages covering his body.

"Like I got hit by lightening right after the tank ran me over."

He frowned slightly, casting her playful glance.

"Please tell me there wasn't a tank…"

Her grin widened at the familiar glint in his eye.

_That's my boy…_

"No, there was no tank. There were rocket propelled grenades, semtex and an awful lot of bullets, but no tank. At least as far as I know… It wasn't exactly the first thing I checked on."

He squeezed her hand and raised it to his lips, his eyes locked with hers.

"Tank or not, here I still am. And here you are. Thank you for coming, Temperance."

"Where else would I go?"

He smiled.

"Doctor Brennan, have I told you lately that I love you?"

"Agent Booth, is that a song quote?"

An eyebrow shot up with surprise.

"Bones, did you just get a pop culture reference? Ok, what kind of bizzaro world did I wake up in?"

She grinned and shook her head.

"I need to get you a doctor."

He pulled her towards him, careful to avoid any more painful mishaps with the variety of tubes surrounding him.

"I got all the doctor I need right here, Bones."

She kissed him full on the lips, letting herself sink in to the kiss she was scared she would never get.

_He's alive and he's mine. I love him and he loves me. That's all that matters. That's all that ever mattered._

Extracting herself from his grasp, she backed away from the bed.

"We can play Doctors and Nurses another time, Booth. Right now, I want an MD not a PhD to check on you."

He shrugged slightly, though the flicker of pain in his eyes as he did so showed he instantly regretted it.

"Just… Just come back soon."

"You know I will."

She smiled and slipped out the door.

_oo00oo_

Susan Escrow sat at the nurse's station attempting to tackle the mountain of paperwork that had seemed to creep up on her throughout her shift. It never seemed to end.

Leaning back in her chair, she stretched her arms above her head with a satisfying pop of her muscles and let her eyes wander the corridors ahead of her.

A slim figure was emerging from one of the rooms, a mass of matted hair and puffy eyes.

Doctor Brennan.

Nurse Escrow immediately got to her feet, concerned as to why a woman who was obviously so much in love with the man she was visiting was now marching down the corridor towards her station.

But then she raised her head and those puffy eyes to Susan and the pounding of the nurse's heart immediately slowed.

Doctor Temperance Brennan was finally smiling again.

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**A/N: Yep, the warm and fluffies are _almost_ back with a vengence. Two more chapters to go and then that's all folks! The penultimate update should be online later today/early tomorrow. Real life allowing of course... Now go on, press that button and submit a review. Go on, you know you want to...**


	26. Collide

**A/N: Yeah, sorry kids but this one's crap. To be fair, I wrote it in about half an hour at 4:30am this morning but it's still crap. I promise it's nearly all over and that the next chapter is much much better! Hope you all had a good Halloween.**

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_"Even the best fall down some times,  
__Even the wrong words seem to rhyme.  
__Out of the doubt that fills my mind,  
__I somehow find that you and I collide."_

_'Collide', Howie Day_

_oo00oo_

Seeley Booth lay in the hospital bed staring at the ceiling tiles as he tried to adjust to the dull pain throughout his body. Somewhere in the back of his mind, something nagged at him. Something wasn't right.

His eyes drifted down to look at his own body as he snorted with derisive laughter.

_Of course something's not right. I got the crap blown out of me…_

_But that's not it. That's not all that's wrong._

He turned his head slightly, attempting to stretch out the crick in his neck, and stared out through the window. Brennan was stood in the corridor, nodding at something one of the doctors was saying, a blonde haired nurse at her side.

_My poor Temperance. God, I think she might actually look worse than I do…_

He dragged his gaze away from her, knowing he couldn't stare at the woman of his dreams without fear of breaking down and crying like a baby. He was beginning to understand just why she had been so off with him when he first told he was going to Iraq.

War was just something he had learned to live with over the years. He didn't like it and he sure as hell didn't ever want to be in that situation again. But going back out there with the troops, he had known it was the right thing to do. The whole purpose of him being there was to teach them how to be better soldiers.

He grimaced at the thought.

_You mean using all your dirty little secrets to make them better killers… You were training them to be the best snipers they could be, teaching them how to shoot unarmed men and get the hell out of dodge before anyone could even figure out where the shot had come from. So what if those men deserve it? You know what it is that those boys would have to live with till the day they died._

He sighed heavily, raising a hand to run it across his tired face, accidentally snagging the drip against the barrier on the side of the bed.

That was when it hit him. That was when he realised what was wrong.

He looked down at the sheets covering his groin, his eyes following the trail of the catheter tube.

_She'd been pulling on it, basically ripping it out of me. I told her to stop. But I hadn't even felt it. I can't feel anything below my…_

Booth bit his bottom lip as he concentrated, staring down at the end of the bed as he put every ounce of energy he had left in to wriggling his toes.

The sheets didn't move.

Trying to keep his cool, he systematically worked his way back up his body. Toes, ankles, knees, legs… None of them would obey him. He was able to slightly shuffle his hips but the pain it caused in his lower back immediately stilled him.

He stared back up at the ceiling tiles as he slowly clenched and unclenched his fists by his sides.

_Nothing… From the waist down there's just nothing. I can't move._

Booth's eyes slid shut at the realisation, and he tried in vain to rid himself of the images that flooded through his mind.

Playing softball with the FBI team, chasing Parker round and round the living room, running after suspects down dark alleys, playing soccer with his son in the park on a beautiful summer's day, making love to Temperance, just walking up the stairs to his apartment… It was all over. He couldn't do any of those things again.

A silent tear slid down his cheeks and he angrily brushed it away.

_Don't you dare cry, you idiot. You're getting out of this hell hole a lot better off than some of these poor guys. At least you're not going home in a casket._

He heard the door open and he let out a faltering sigh, trying to regain his composure. Slowly, he opened his eyes and focused on Brennan, ignoring the doctor standing behind her. He tried to smile but it died before it ever reached his lips.

He watched as she returned to his side, grasping his hand tightly in her own as she carefully seated herself on the edge of the bed. He squeezed her fingers reassuringly.

_Hell, that's about all I can do now…_

The doctor stepped forward, picking his chart up from the end of the bed and flicking through the pages. Booth cleared his throat, surprised at how dry his mouth had suddenly become.

"What's up, doc?"

He attempted a wry smile but it felt fake across his lips. He managed to hold the doctor's gaze though, their eyes locked. All Booth could see was his own reflection, his own pitifully weak image.

"Agent Booth, how are you feeling?"

He was about to shrug when he remembered the pain it caused him the last time he tried. He just raised an eyebrow instead.

"Like I got shot. And blown up. Obviously…"

The doctor offered a slight smile, nodding as his eyes flicked back down to the chart.

"Well, I must say I'm incredibly impressed with the progress you've made so far."

Booth couldn't help but snort with sarcastic laughter.

"Right…"

The doctor just stared at him for a moment then laid down the chart, leaning a casual arm against the footboard at the end of the bed.

"Agent Booth, there are a few things we need to discuss."

Booth just nodded slowly, unable to raise his eyes to meet the doctor's.

"You mean about the fact I'm paralysed?"

He felt Brennan tense beside him and felt his heart fall.

_Oh god, didn't she know? Or is she just worried about the fact that I know?_

The doctor cleared his throat and rearranged his glasses on his nose.

"Unfortunately, due to the type of injury you sustained, there has been some damage done to your spine. Until the swelling has gone down, I'm afraid we don't have any definitive answers in that area. The surgery itself, though, was a great success and I doubt you'll have any complications."

"Beyond being a wheelchair for the rest of my life?"

Try as he might, he just couldn't hide the bitterness in his tone. He bit his lip again, trying to keep the anger inside. Brennan squeezed his hand slightly as she leaned a little closer.

"Booth, we don't know that's what's going to happen. For all we know, you could be walking out of here in a couple of days."

He couldn't bring himself to look at her.

_She's come all the way out here, to Germany of all places, just to find that the man she fell in love with is already dead. I'm not him anymore. I can never be him again._

"So what else then, doc? What exactly happened to me?"

The doctor began to describe his injuries but Booth almost immediately found himself tuning out, his mind consumed with the fact that he was now lost in the world. Everything he had previously taken for granted was gone. However, something the doctor was saying caught his attention, pulling him back to the ward room.

"I'm sorry, doc, say that again?"

"I said that it appears the first serious gun shot wound you suffered was while you were dragging a Colonel Thomas Bridges away from danger, before the second explosion occurred."

Booth blinked rapidly.

"Tommy? But I didn't…"

Fractured images flashed in his mind in no coherent order. He shook his head, trying to sort them together properly, running through it all in his mind.

"I heard the commotion and went back to the bunk to get my M14 and Tommy. We rounded the truck outside the supply depot and I hunkered down in the dirt, trying to identify hostiles but with all that sand and dust and smoke… I couldn't see anything. I could hear Tommy firing but not me."

The doctor cleared his throat, rounding the bed to stand beside Brennan who was staring down at him with eyes full of concern but also pride.

"Agent Booth, Colonel Bridges didn't fire a single round. The gunshots you heard were your own. You took down six insurgents as they were rallying to push further in to the base and set explosives. That was why they fired a rocket propelled grenade at the truck you were using for cover. I'm afraid Colonel Bridges had already been shot at this point. You were the threat, not him."

Booth stared at him with wide eyes, the images rushing through his mind.

_Lying in the dirt, pointing my weapon at the cloud of dust ahead of me, sand in my eyes… Seeing the stars and stripes on a soldier's arm and relaxing my finger on the trigger… Hearing the pop pop pop of an AK47 and turning left slightly… Training my weapon on the figures rushing through the dust… The recoil of the shot against my shoulder… The echo of gunfire against the truck… Spent cartridges bouncing in the dirt…The yelling of orders in a language I didn't know nearby… Seeing the muzzle of a weapon coming round the truck… The whiz of the grenade over head… The heat of the explosion on my back…_

Booth blinked slowly as his vision swam.

_Coming round the truck, seeing Tommy's weapon lying in the dirt… Turning… Tommy's blood oozing in to the sand… Pop pop pop… Felt like fire in my shoulder… On my knees jamming a fresh cartridge in my weapon… Like being at a turkey shoot with my granddad at the fair… Couldn't get to my feet… The burning in my back… Pop pop pop… Dragging Tommy as I shuffled through the dirt… The sound of another grenade nearby… Flash of white, disorientating… Hitting the ground hard… Hands grabbing me… Pulling me away… Still got my weapon, can't lose my weapon… Have to get home, just have to get home… Temperance is waiting, I have to get home…_

"I fought…?"

The doctor nodded, a strange look of pride crossing his face.

"The insurgents were planning on setting charges and ambushes all round the area. Thanks to the confusion you caused, the group split and the counter attack was easily established. You saved a lot of lives out there, Agent Booth. I'm just glad we had you on our side."

Booth couldn't help the shudder coarse through his body.

_I'm not glad. I don't ever want to see that again. I just want to go home, like I promised. I just want to be me again._

"And Tommy? Is he ok?"

The doctor's smile spread.

"He's in the ICU at the moment but it looks like he's going to make a full recovery, all thanks to you."

Booth rolled his eyes, uncomfortable with the hero mantle that seemed to be being thrust upon him.

"I'm pretty sure it's your guys that did most of the work there, doc."

The doctor smiled, nodding slightly in thanks as he retreated back towards the door.

"Anyway, if you should have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. I'll leave you two to catch up now but Agent Booth, you really should get some rest."

Booth smiled tightly as he watched the thinning hair and glasses disappear down the corridor. Brennan was gently running her fingers through his hair, soothing him, but he still couldn't quite bring himself to look at her.

"Bones…"

"Yes Booth?"

Her voice was quiet and calm.

_She doesn't sound worried. Why isn't she worried?_

"If I… If when we get home, it's pretty obvious that I won't walk again or anything, then I wouldn't…you know, I wouldn't hold it against you if you decided that you couldn't… I mean, I'd understand why if you…"

He tailed off, leaving the sentence hanging lamely in the air. She tensed up again, moving slightly to get a better look at him. Still he couldn't raise his eyes to hers.

"Booth…"

She laid her hand under his chin, forcing him to look at her.

"Booth, I would never leave you like that and you know it. Not that it matters, because the sheer statistical probability is that following your surgery, the swelling around the spinal column is putting pressure against your nerves and causing the _temporary_ paralysis. And even if it's not short term, that doesn't matter to me."

Booth rolled his eyes and shook his head slowly.

"Not now, no. But give it time, Bones. It _will_ matter. You'll start to hate me for the burden I'll become. I won't be the man you wanted."

Her eyes narrowed as she threw her hands up in exasperation.

"I could never hate you, Booth! Well, except for when you're criticising my team and my work but that's more a general annoyance than any real hate… Look, Seeley, I love you and I'm not going anywhere. So stop getting ahead of yourself and automatically assuming the worse. We just need to give it a few days to see what happens. But even if you are paralysed, it won't ever matter to me."

Booth opened his mouth to speak but she silenced him with a glare.

"It won't, Booth. I fell in love with you for the type of man you are, yes. But that doesn't mean I fell for your athleticism or your ability to chase suspects. I fell in love with a brave, noble man who has taught me how to embrace life, no matter how much it hurts. A man who fights for everything that's right in the world and attempts to change everything that isn't. I fell in love with your heart, Seeley, with your mind. I certainly didn't fall for your legs. They're far too hairy…"

She grinned at him sheepishly and he grinned right back, raising his hand to gently stroke her cheek.

_She's right. Hell, she's always right. Whatever's coming, I'll beat it. As long as she's around, I know I can beat it._

He pulled her closer, bringing her lips to meet his own and felt them both sink in to the kiss, relishing the taste of each other.

Agent Booth smiled to himself. He was finally home.


	27. I Will Remember You

**A/N: Thank you to everyone for the seriously wonderful reviews. I can't believe you compared this to Servare Vitas! I'm surprised and touched. As Mendenbar said, I don't think I could get any higher praise. Sorry I've not been able to reply to reviews as I normally do recently but things are stupidly hectic and I'm still not feeling 100 percent but I hope to get back to you all as soon as I can. Anyway, just this and I think two more chapters then we're all done and I can finally get back to the sequel to 'The Man In The Lecture Hall'... Thank you all again.**  
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_"I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose,  
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose.  
Once there was darkness, deep and endless night,  
You gave me everything you had. Oh, you gave me light."_

_'I Will Remember You', Sarah McLachlan._

_oo00oo_

The days passed slowly within the sterile walls of the Landstuhl Hospital. Brennan stayed in constant contact with everyone back home, updating them regularly on Booth's progress. Seeley himself spent his time willing himself out of bed, forcing himself to undertake the necessary physiotherapy.

As the swelling went down following his surgery, feeling began to return to Booth's legs, beginning with a distinctly uncomfortable tingling sensation akin to pins and needles.

Nurse Susan Escrow helped him out of bed, forcing him to utilise his limbs. He struggled, finding himself on the floor more often than he'd like, but slowly the sensations returned and slowly his muscles began to obey his will again. Brennan would sit on the uncomfortable plastic chairs and watch, offering her silent and sometimes literal support.

It was taking far longer than he wanted. After a few days, his progress had slowed to a halt. His improvement had basically stopped altogether, leaving him stranded somewhere between paralysed and able-bodied.

That was where his thoughts dwelled now, lying in the ward bed that had basically become his new home, staring up at the ceiling without seeing anything.

He was lost in a world of new possibilities, not one of which he wanted to face. He still could not walk unaided, he couldn't even go to the toilet by himself. He pretended that it didn't embarrass him, faking bravery and smiles to the people around him. Inside, he found his strength was as weak as his wasted legs.

The door slid open and the young nurse entered, her face bright with a gleaming smile as she tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear after it fell loose from her tight bun.

"Good morning, Agent Booth. How are you feeling today?"

He managed to muster up a smile, hoping he could still rely on his trusty charm to fake his way to happiness.

"Same old, same old, Susan. How are the kids?"

Her grin widened, cocking her head slightly as she lowered the barriers on either side of his bed.

"Oh, you know. The little rugrats do everything they can to get what they want. It always works. Toys, sweets, maple syrup covered pancakes, I give in eventually."

He shuffled to the edge of the thin mattress with a wry smile.

"I know the feeling. Anytime Parker gives me that little pout and the big brown eyes, I just let him have whatever he wants."

The nurse manoeuvred herself to his side, letting him drape his arm across her shoulders to support him as she helped him to the waiting wheelchair. He hated the very sight of it, grimacing from the dull throb in his spine as she lowered him down.

This was their daily routine now. Temperance would be waiting in the physiotherapy suite talking facts and figures with the doctors. Susan would wheel him in, presenting him with a cup of coffee from the nurse's station on the way. The orderly would assist them once they reached the suite, helping him get to his feet.

Susan and the orderly would hold him up, basically bearing his weight as he dragged his useless feet towards the parallel bars that divided the room. The whole point was for him to hold his upper body upright on the bars, slowly training his legs to move again, to regain the old sensations and muscles that failed him now.

As they manoeuvred him in to position, Booth caught Brennan's eye.

_I don't like her seeing me like this. When I was getting better, it was ok, I could deal with it. But now… Now nothing's happening. My legs won't listen to me, my knees give way, my feet tingle painfully._

He looked away again, not wanting her to see the frustration in his eyes.

Using all the strength he had in his biceps to hold himself up between the parallel bars, he envisioned Parker waiting at the other end, his arms open wide and waiting for his father to run over and scoop him up in a giant hug.

But Booth couldn't make it. He couldn't reach his son at the other end, no matter how hard he tried. His legs just wouldn't obey him, they wouldn't take him to his little boy.

_All I want to do is walk again. Why won't it work? Why can't I just be me again?_

He fell to the padded floor, his arms breaking his fall. He could hear Susan and Temperance rushing to his side as he lay there with his eyes closed, cursing every inch of his failed body.

His face pressed against the cold floor, he slowly opened his eyes, looking straight in to Brennan's gaze. He knew there was no expression on his face. No pain, no frustration, not a thing.

He knew that because he knew _he_ was nothing.

_This is what I am now. This is all I can be. This is how it's all going to end._

He had lost all hope.

_oo00oo_

Brennan stood talking to the doctors about Booth's recent lack of progress, watching her partner intently out of the corner of her eye.

_Something's not right with him. It's like he's giving up._

She turned to face him full on, finding herself caught in his gaze. Quickly, he turned away, refusing to look at her. She felt stung by his rejection but she understood it, she knew he didn't like her seeing him weak.

_Just like I hate people seeing me when I'm vulnerable._

The doctor was talking but she didn't hear a word he said. Instead, she was focused on watching him.

Forcing himself to stand upright with the strength in his arms, his legs seemed to just hang limp beneath him. Bending at the knees and refusing to hold his weight, she knew this was going to be another demoralising day.

She could only watch as he seemed to put every ounce of energy he had into swinging his left leg forward, his foot dragging across the padded floor.

_He's having to use his hips to force the motion. There appears to be no response from the muscles in his legs, none of them. But the swelling's all but gone now. Is this really permanent? Is this how it's going to stay?_

Drained, Booth seemed to teeter slightly before his arms gave way. Balancing for a second on his useless legs, he quickly slumped forward. His arms broke the fall but he still ended up with his face against the floor.

Brennan immediately rushed to his side, never wanting to be anywhere else. She crouched down by his head, reaching out to stroke his temple as he opened his eyes, staring straight at her.

Her hand stopped mid-air as her heart skipped a beat.

There was nothing there. Nothing. No frustration, no pain, no love, nothing. Just cold dark pools staring blankly back at her.

_He's lost all hope that he'll ever get better. He's lost hope in himself._

Blinking rapidly, Brennan leaned forward, laying a lingering kiss on his forehead. He just kept staring straight ahead, his eyes hard and cold. Swallowing hard, she adjusted her position and helped Susan to pull him up, seating him back in the wheelchair.

Brennan just stood in front of him, her arms folded across her chest to protect herself from the coolness in his downcast gaze. She watched as the doctor checked him over, making sure he hadn't injured himself anymore with the fall.

Booth slowly raised his eyes to the doctor and Brennan knew he was purposefully avoiding looking at her when he spoke.

"I'd like to go back to my room now."

His voice was flat and distant, containing none of the warmth she usually found there. The doctor glanced at her before clearing his throat.

"Agent Booth, we should really continue with the…"

Her partner cut the doctor off mid-sentence, staring in to space.

"I said, I would like to go back to my room now."

The doctor looked uncomfortable but nodded at Susan who started to wheel him out of the room. Brennan stepped forward, laying a hand on the nurse's arm to stop her.

"Nurse Escrow, it's ok. I'll take him."

She smiled tightly and held the door open for them as the pair exited. Pushing her partner down the now familiar corridors, Brennan struggled to find the words she needed to say.

_What could I possibly ever tell him that would make all this better? How is false hope better than no hope at all? He's a stubborn son of a bitch at times, I know that, but I love him and I want to help. If only Angela was here. I'm no good at pep talks and inspirational speeches. Even Zach would probably be better than me at this kind of thing._

They soon reached Booth's room and she wheeled him inside. Stopping by the side of the bed, he adjusted himself in the seat, preparing to clamber back to the safety of the hard mattress. Brennan prevented him from going anywhere by sitting herself on the edge of the bed, staring down at him with a stern gaze. He just folded his arms across his chest and sighed heavily.

"Bones, I need you to help me get up."

Brennan felt her heart beat a little faster at the sound of the nickname she had once hated but now meant more to her than a thousand gifts.

_He's still calling me Bones. My man's still in there somewhere._

She cleared her throat, searching for the right thing to say but knowing full well she was unlikely to manage it.

"Booth, I understand how hard this is for you."

He snorted with laughter and shook his head, looking anywhere but at her.

"Anthropologically speaking, if a male becomes physically impaired it is often seen to be a mark against their manhood and their usefulness to the society at large. They are often cast out of tribes and homes in an effort to maintain the order of their society as a way of protecting it, helping the others to survive from fear of the injured becoming a burden."

Booth locked eyes with her and despite the anger she had expected to invoke, there was still just nothing.

"If you're aiming for a pep talk, I'm afraid you're way off base here, Bones."

She paused and he looked away. Sighing, she forced herself to continue.

"But that doesn't happen now, Booth. In today's society, there is a lot of help given to those that are physically impaired, both medically and psychologically. It's not a slight against your manhood or your position as alpha male."

He rolled his eyes.

"Brennan, I really don't give a crap about me being an alpha male or what society thinks of us cripples, I just want to get back in to bed. So will just help me and get out of here?"

She smarted at his words, like he'd just slapped her right in the face.

_He wants me to leave…_

Jutting out her chin, she held her head high, her voice firm.

"No."

Booth stared at her, his eyes narrowed.

"No? What, you just gonna leave me with my new wheels, huh?"

Brennan crossed her arms across her chest, her face defiant.

"So you've been injured, big deal. You've partially lost use of your legs, so what? They are other people out there that have suffered far worse fates than you, Seeley Booth, so how dare you sit there and give up on it all, give up on _us_, just like that? It's not fair."

"Not fair? How can you _stand_ there and lecture me on what's not fair? I'm the one stuck in this God damned wheelchair for the rest of my life. I'm the one that's never going to be able to play with his little boy again, not properly. I'm the one who can't do his job any more, the one who has to sit here and just remember what my life _used_ to be like. None of it's fair, Brennan, and I'm done fighting it. It's pointless."

She leaned in towards him, her hands on the armrests of his chair, forcing him to look at her with her sheer proximity.

"It's not pointless, it's what you have to do. The only way you're ever going to beat this is if you keep fighting. That's what you've always done, Booth, you're a fighter. I never really understood that before. I didn't know why you were always able to protect me, I didn't know why you had to come out to Iraq, I didn't really know why you were always so passionate about the things you do, but now I know it's because you are a fighter to your very core. Maybe it's part of your genetic makeup, maybe it's purely the conditioning of your environment seeing as your father fought in Vietnam, I don't why. But I know that you can beat this as long as you keep fighting."

He just stared at her, his eyes narrowed in anger. Although grateful he was no longer just blank, Brennan was a little scared by the pure ferocity in his gaze. Eventually, he sighed and his features relaxed a little.

"Maybe you're right, maybe I was a fighter. But I can't fight this, Bones. This isn't a war or a criminal that I have to beat, it's my own body. How can I fight myself?"

There was a tinge of sadness in his voice as Brennan crouched down in front of him, taking his hands in her own and tracing small circles across his palm.

"Because you do it every day, Seeley. Every time you remember the things you did as a sniper, every time you resist the urge to hit one of the bad guys, every time you stop yourself from saying something you know you shouldn't, you're basically fighting yourself. So why stop now? This is a battle I know you can win, but only if you suck it up and fight for what you want."

A tight smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.

"Bones, did you just tell me to 'suck it up', seriously?"

She frowned at him.

"I've heard you say it before. I thought I used it in the correct context."

The smile spread across his lips before it slowly faded away.

"I'm just… I don't think I'm ever going to get any better than this, Temperance. What if I never really recover?"

She shrugged slightly as she leaned in closer.

"Then you live the life you've got and you make the best of it. You have a beautiful son, you have friends, you have family and you have me. We all care about you and we all love you. No matter what happens, we'll still be here for you and we'll always be proud. But only if you keep fighting, only if you make sure that you tried your damned hardest. You've never been a quitter, Booth. Don't start now."

He pulled a hand from her grasp and raised it to her face, gently caressing the contour of her cheek.

"I love you, Temperance."

She smiled, leaning her face into his palm and relishing every electrifying second of his touch.

"I love you too, Seeley. Now what do you say that I take you back to the physiotherapy suite and we give this another try."

He smiled slightly, something flickering faintly in his eyes, something Brennan couldn't quite identify.

"Keep fighting, huh?"

She just nodded, unconsciously holding her breath for his answer as he looked down at her hands clasping his own. Slowly, he raised his gaze to her again and the smile spread.

"Are you coming with me?"

She smiled right back at him.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

"Then let's get fighting."

Wheeling him back out of the ward room, Brennan saw the flicker in his eyes had grown to a raging fire that was beginning to consume her too.

It was hope.

* * *

**A/N: For anyone who saw last night's episode of Bones (think it was called The Girl With The Curl), I think I just fell in love with Hodgins... Bless his little cotton socks. And good to see Booth's finally got his damned act together, though I now have an enormous craving for Thai food...**


	28. All My Tomorrows

**A/N: Sorry in the delay of getting this one to you folks but it was actually my birthday today. Well, yesterday seeing as it's now gone midnight. Which isn't good seeing as I start a new job tomorrow morning. How much do you wanna bet I'm late on my first day...? Anyways, this one's pretty soppy but I just had to do it. So if you don't like muchos fluffos, better change the channel now kids. Me go beddie byes now. Nighty night!**  
_

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_"Right now it may not seem like spring at all,  
We're drifting and the laughs are few.  
But I've got rainbows planned for tomorrow  
And all my tomorrows belong to you."_

_'All My Tomorrows', Frank Sinatra_

_oo00oo_

It had been two weeks since Booth's crisis of confidence and nearly a month since the attack on his base in Iraq. Brennan was supposed to have left the German hospital weeks earlier but she stayed by her partner's side, waiting the last few days before he would be able to fly back home to Washington DC.

She stayed by his side constantly and basically slept in his ward room, curling up on the chairs to rest her eyes from the hours of watching him, just watching. She was still worried about him, still concerned by his injuries. Although his condition was slowly and steady improving, she knew he still wasn't happy.

Booth was the type of man who fought. Whether it be for the victims of crime or defending the people closest to him, he always fought to protect them.

_He's been protecting me from the moment we met, whether I wanted him to or not. Now it's my turn to protect him._

And that was exactly what she had been doing for weeks.

She knew how hard it was for him to find himself weak and vulnerable, and that he wasn't even all that keen on her seeing him in that state. The idea of having anyone else around him, anyone else that he cared about, seeing him trying to fight could end up just setting him back again.

Brennan had discussed the situation with both Angela and Rebecca. Angela was always the one she turned to in a crisis and she relied on her opinions and insights in to how he might feel.

_She has a knack for people, just like Booth does. I don't have that. I doubt I ever will. I have other talents. Together, we compliment each other._

As for Booth's ex, she had suggested bringing Parker out to Germany, a sort of inspirational tool to keep the agent working hard to regain his strength. In the end, they decided against it.

The last thing in the world Booth would want would be to have his little boy losing his hero and gaining the realisation that his father was just another weak and broken man. Rebecca understood that and they just hoped that the phone calls with his son would be enough.

Brennan knew that they had made the right decision, though part of her still worried about it. She still worried about _him_.

Pushing his wheelchair down the corridor, the pair bickered between themselves good naturedly. Their old back-and-forth cheered Brennan up no end. The fact that Booth had returned to his old self and lost a lot of his melancholy meant that she was sure he was going to keep fighting.

Entering the physiotherapy suite for the daily session, Brennan watched as Booth flashed Nurse Escrow his biggest charm smile. She grinned back at him as both women moved to each side of the chair, helping Booth over to the parallel bars.

They chatted about inconsequential things - the weather, sports results, good local restaurants and alike - keeping the focus away from why they had to be there. It was just easier that way.

Booth shuffled in to position, his full weight resting on his hands against the wooden bars. He gave Brennan a quick wink and a tight smile as the doctor approached, encouraging the agent and explaining the progress. Booth just nodded slowly, biting his bottom lip with concentration as he focused on the task at hand.

Brennan watched intently, her eyes narrowing as he took a deep breath. Her arms folded across her chest, she hugged herself slightly, unconsciously holding her breath.

She watched as Booth's right knee jerked slightly, his brows knitted together in concentration.

_He's not having to swing his legs by using his hips anymore. He's definitely improved significantly._

Slowly, Booth raised his knee a little, the foot below dragging across the padded floor, his weight still being supported by his arms. His features strained, he placed his right foot down carefully.

A broad smile exploded across his face as he looked over at Brennan. She couldn't keep the grin from her own lips at the look of accomplishment on his face, pride and love surging through her.

_He's doing it. He's almost there, he's almost there…_

Booth shifted his hands on the bars, raising his left leg off the floor. He was obviously straining, the effort almost too much as he shuffled his hands along the bars to place his left foot down ahead of his right.

The look in his eye told Brennan he wasn't just fighting anymore. He was winning.

He shifted his hands again, adjusting his weight. Slowly, he straightened up, carefully attempting to fully utilise his legs. Gradually, he raised his hands off the bars, letting them hover a few inches above the wood as he balanced precariously on his weakened legs.

Brennan stepped forward, instinctively trying to get closer in case it all went wrong, wanting to be there to catch him if he fell.

_Just like he always catches me._

Booth turned his head to her, grinning from ear to ear as she grinned back at him, feeling the pride beaming from her face. He opened his mouth to speak, wobbling slightly between the bars as he tried to regain the old skill he thought he'd lost forever.

Suddenly, his face fell and his eyes widened. Brennan felt her smile begin to slip, her brows knitting together in a confused frown. Then she realised what was wrong.

Booth's knees buckled beneath him, unable to hold his weight just yet. He fell to the floor, barely putting his arms out in time to break his fall. Brennan didn't make it in time to catch him. He slammed in to the ground, his chin bouncing off the padding and dazing him slightly.

Brennan dropped to her knees beside him, reaching out as he looked up at her. Her heart seemed to slow as she feared how he would react to yet another setback. She searched his eyes, looking for any sign that he was about to give up, that he needed encouragement and help.

_So what if I'm not good with people? This is Booth. I'll do anything I can to help him. I love him._

He just stared up at her for a moment, blinking rapidly. Slowly, a wide smile spread across his lips. She frowned slightly.

"Booth, are you ok?"

He grinned as he nodded, rolling on to his side.

"I'm good."

Nurse Escrow crouched down beside him, hooking her hand under his arm to help him up. He grabbed her hand, stopping her in her tracks.

"Agent Booth, is everything ok?"

He just smiled, removing her hand from his arm. Frowning, she backed off, casting Brennan a confused glance. The anthropologist shrugged slightly, leaning in to ask him what was going on.

Before she got the chance, Booth pushed himself up on his arms. His biceps flexing beneath his t-shirt, he reached up and grabbed the bar above him. Brennan shuffled backwards to give him space, silently willing him on. Behind her, the doctor stepped forward with his eyebrows raised.

Booth reached up with his other hand, using all the strength he had in his arms to pull himself up. He leant over the bar, shifting his weight to steady himself on his feet. Brennan and Nurse Escrow stood up too, both of them wringing their hands as they watched him warily, the tenseness obvious in their whitened knuckles.

Booth wobbled precariously, leaning against the bar on his right so that he could reach out to the one on the left. With both hands firmly placed against the wood, he balanced himself properly on his feet.

Slowly, he removed his hands again, attempting to steady himself. He just stood there, obviously relishing the moment.

Brennan felt a nervous smile pull at the corners of her mouth as she watched him.

_He's doing it. He's standing. He's almost there…_

Booth let out a long breath and held his head high, staring straight ahead with a look of strained concentration as he carefully raised his left knee, balancing all his weight on the right leg. Slowly and somewhat painfully, he dragged his foot off the floor and jerkily placed it back down a good distance ahead of him.

He rocked slightly, desperately trying to find his centre of balance again as Brennan stepped forward with a nervous frown, resisting the urge to put her arms out as a kind of safety net. He glanced at her briefly, a flicker of hope in his eyes, and she stopped herself.

_This is his battle to fight. And I think he really is winning._

Regaining his balance at least for the time being, Booth falteringly shifted his weight to enable himself to fling his right leg forward, landing it just ahead of his left. Again he seemed to teeter on the brink of falling but caught himself, panting a little from the exertion.

Brennan found herself laughing heartily, her hands clutched against her chest as tears of pride stung her eyes.

_He did it. He really did it. He just took his first steps._

Booth turned his head to face her, his arms held out at his sides to help him balance. The look she saw there - the accomplishment, the love, the thousand thank yous - caused the tears to spill over, running down her cheeks in quick succession as she grinned at him, nodding slowly.

He nodded back, knowing she understood just how thankful he was for her support, her encouragement but most of all, her love. He knew this was a moment they would both treasure for the rest of their lives and he couldn't help but conjure up the image he cherished of Parker's first faltering steps in the world.

Slowly, he moved forward again, his eyes still locked with hers as his muscles finally began to remember their purpose.

He was walking. Slowly but surely, he was walking.

Reaching the end of the padded floor, he let his hands fall back down to the wooden bars to support him, blushing a little at the round of applause he received. Brennan was leading it, her hands a blur as she clapped.

She raced forward, slamming into him and almost knocking him off balance again as she flung her arms around his neck. Shifting his weight so only one hand was gripping the bar, he wrapped his other arm around her waist as she stared up at him, her eyes wide.

He saw his own reflection there and for the first time since he'd left her, he wasn't ashamed to see it. For the first time in over a month, he didn't see a weak and broken man. He saw himself the way he was meant to be, the way he knew she had always seen him.

Leaning down to kiss the woman he loved, he silently thanked God for bringing Brennan to him. And he promised that he would never give up again.

With Temperance Brennan by his side, Booth knew he could fight off anything that came their way. And he would win.

* * *

**A/N: Told you it was soppy! Hee hee. By the way, one of my birthday presents was the Bones Season 1 DVD boxset. I'm now a very happy girly! And if you haven't seen the clip of this coming wednesday's Bones where BB go undercover in Vegas (pure genius idea!), check it out at the fox homepage. Not so sure about the accent or the hat, but the flirting's brilliant. I'm now going to bed with a very big grin. Ok, that sounded dirty and was not at all what I meant... Get your minds out of the gutter and press that button in the bottom left. You know you want to... Thanks for reading!**


	29. Stay By Me

**A/N: First off, I'm really sorry it's taken so long to get this final chapter to you. I'm currently holding down two jobs and that's sadly left me little time to do any of this. Hence my second apology. This chapter was written in about 45 minutes so if it feels rushed or an inadequate end to this story, I really am immensenly sorry. Nevertheless, this is what you get kiddies, I just hope you like it more than me. **

**And finally, I just want to say an enormous thank you to every single person who read and reviewed this. My intention was for it to only be a few little one shots based around some good lyrics I've heard over the years but, with your encouragement, it seemed to take a life of it's own. So thank you everybody, you really made my day. Well, month actually. Huge thank yous to Mariah, Bella, Goldpiece, Lynn, Shauna, PeachesGirl and of course, Ava my cheerleader extraordinaire. You guys are the reason this site's so good. Now that's more than enough from me. Thank you again.**_**

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_"Stay by me and make the moment last.  
__Please take these lips, even if I've been kissed a million times,  
__And I don't care if there's no tomorrow  
__When I could die here in your arms.  
__Even if the stars have made us blind, we're blind,  
__So blind in love."_

_'Stay By Me', Annie Lennox_

_oo00oo_

Temperance Brennan closed her eyes with a contented sigh, wrapping her arms around herself in the cool breeze to warm up a little. Slowly, she blinked her eyes open again, staring up in the autumnal sky.

The clouds hung heavy above her, their bellies bleeding gold against the salmon pinks and raging reds of the sunset. It was all just so beautiful, so peaceful.

Brennan had been to many parts of the world and seen many a sunset in her time, but this one was different. Before, whenever she saw the dying of the day, it meant nothing. It was just the natural process of the planet rotating during its orbit of the sun. It was just the way of the world.

Not anymore.

Now every sunset had significance. She finally understood the power the sun had over the ancient civilisations like the Egyptians and the Aztecs, all with their Gods and rituals surrounding its influence. Now she had her own rituals and her own God which she worshipped without question and would follow for the rest of her life.

Now she had Booth.

Brennan slowly got to her feet, crossing the porch and leaning against the wooden railing, her eyes still fixed on the clouds rolling past above the silhouetted trees. A relaxed smile curved her lips as her eyes trailed down to the scene below her.

Her partner was strolling up the winding path, a broad grin on his face directed at the adolescent blonde marching along beside him. The boy walked with the easy movements of someone totally confident in their own skin. Just like his father. The lad tossed a baseball up in the air, caught it, and flung it up again. Just like his father.

Brennan's smile grew as she watched the pair of them. Father and son. All together, they were the family she never had growing up. At least, almost all.

The gentle gurgle of giggling bubbled up from nearby and Brennan turned, crossing the porch to the bassinette by the bench. The anthropologist leant down, brushing the dark hair off the baby's petite face.

_I can't resist just staring at the architecture of her features. I can already see Booth in her structure. I see his nose, his smile, his eyes, and there's even the same look of love in them. But I also see my mother in those cheeks, those lips. That's why I chose her real name, that's why I called her Ruth. Because although she might be dead, I see my mother in my child._

She felt a gentle hand on the small of her back, her partner's touch trailing up her spine to rest on her shoulder. Brennan felt his eyes shift from her to their little girl.

_And to think I never considered having children. Now, I have no idea why. Now, I can't imagine anything more rewarding, more perfect. I suppose it's the human genetic make-up, the way we're coded to protect our own. I guess before I was simply trying to beat the anthropological rules we all live our lives by day after day. And only now do I realise just how rewarding those rules can be._

Booth squeezed her shoulder slightly, laying a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"She really is beautiful."

Brennan smiled, unable to tear her eyes away from her giggling little girl.

"Yes, she really is."

Parker's blonde head peeked over the edge of the bassinette, looking back up at them with a cocked eyebrow.

"She's pink. She's really, really pink. And tiny. I mean, look at those fingers."

Booth chuckled beside her as Brennan caught the boy's eye. Parker grinned, shrugged and wandered back inside the house. She turned back to her partner with a sarcastic roll of her eyes.

"Like father, like son."

He grinned at her, wrapping his strong arms around her waist and pulling her towards him.

"Well, then you're a very lucky woman."

Brennan couldn't keep the smile from pulling at the corners of her mouth as she cupped his face with her hand, the dying light glinting off the ring on her finger.

_I never wanted children. I never wanted marriage. I thought it was an antiquated custom and utterly pointless within today's society._

_But then that was before Booth. He's changed me, he's made me a better person. His emotions, his way with people, his moral codes and everything else about him, they've made me venture back in to the world. Being with him has made me embrace the world I only observed before._

She was caught in his gaze, her smile growing with every racing beat of her heart, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes, I really am lucky."

He smiled, leaning in towards her to lock her lips with his own. As he inched closer, she felt her breath catch in her throat.

_How is it that after all this time together, all these years, he still gives me butterflies? Just the sound of his voice makes my pulse race, just the touch of his hand sends bolts of electricity through my body, just catching his eye gives me shivers… After all this time, he still…_

Their lips met and Brennan's mind went blank. It always did.

His touch was soft and warm, his breath sweet against her skin. Her eyes sliding closed, she let her lips part a little, let herself taste him again. Their tongues dancing against one another, she felt his grip tighten around her waist, pulling her body flat against his own. Brennan hooked one arm around his neck, pulling him deeper in to their kiss as her other arm traced the lines of the muscles flexing in his back.

Feeling him shudder slightly against her, she smiled in to the kiss and knew he was doing the same.

_So this is what love is. This is what it feels like to love and to be loved._

She lost herself in his embrace yet again. Every worry, every concern, every thought just dissolved on the cool evening breeze, not that she felt it anymore. In his arms, she never felt cold and she never felt scared. Although she was more than capable of taking care of herself, she felt protected when she was with him, she felt safe.

She felt like she was home.

_oo00oo_

The turbulence of the flight stirred Booth from his slumber. About to wipe the sleep from his eyes, he suddenly realised he couldn't move his arm. Still not fully awake, he looked down with a confused frown. What he saw immediately put a smile on his weary face.

His arm was hooked around his partner, who was curled up across the seats, one foot dangling in the aisle. Her head lolling against his shoulder, she had one arm round his waist and the other in his lap where she had a firm grasp on his hand.

Booth was enthralled by her, just watching the light play across her face and how the shadows danced and enhanced her beautiful features.

_She really is structured very well…_

Smiling slightly, he carefully adjusted his position so that he could get a better look at her. She was smiling too, her eyes shifting below the closed lids.

_I wonder what she's dreaming about. I wonder if it's me._

Less than a month or two ago, he would have chastised himself for ever thinking such a thing about his partner. But then, that was _before_.

They were returning home together to what he knew would be a whole new life. Neither of them could deny that. After all, they were taking the first steps in to a new relationship that might only be strained by the fact that they worked together.

He laid a soft kiss on her forehead, the scent of her hair dizzying him for a moment.

_It won't make things strained. It'll make us stronger. We're partners in every sense of the word. This is going to work, I know it. It has to. Because without her, none of it matters. I know that now. _

He pulled back a little, raising her hand still clutched in his own and kissing it gently. She shifted in her seat slightly as her lips parted, causing him to freeze. He didn't want to wake her. She needed rest and nothing in the world would make him wake her now.

Brennan relaxed against his shoulder again and Booth couldn't help but sigh in relief. But he froze again only moments later when one word escaped her lips.

"Seeley…"

Booth couldn't keep the grin from his face as he realised she really was dreaming about him. Things were perfect.

He pulled her closer to him, shuffling down in his seat to rest his head against hers. Closing his eyes, he sighed contentedly.

_Everything's finally working out. Everything's just…just perfect._

He felt himself slipping back towards sleep, his mind drifting to all the new possibilities that were awaiting them when they got back.

Her whispering voice close to his ear surprised him, making him jump.

"I love you…"

The grin was now plastered to his face as he turned his hooded eyes back to her.

"I love you too, Temperance. Sweet dreams."

Drifting away again, he was vaguely aware of the pilot's voice announcing when they would reach Washington. Booth didn't care.

He was already home.

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**A/N: Forgot to mention, I have the day off tomorrow so I'm gonna start properly drafting the sequel to The Man In The Lecture Hall. The first couple of chapters should be up within the week but I should warn you that my infamous rapid updates might not be so fast anymore. I promise to never leave you dangling too long though! Thank you again to everyone for reading. I just hope you enjoyed the ride.**


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